Girl #1: Who were you on a date with last night?
Girl #2: My ex-boyfriend.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Yeah, we call it a date when we hang out so none of our friends will bother us or lecture us. Everyone always assumes we’re just having sex.
Girl #1: Wait, so didn’t you have sex?
Girl #2: Well, yeah, but we didn’t want to be bothered!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: i will not bother you
Seven-year-old boy to father: Did you know that when you get into middle school, all the girls care about is whether you're rich and have a cute ass? In elementary school, they only care about if you can run fast. If you run the fastest, you get all the girls.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Tara
Small boy to teacher in increasingly panicky voice: Is this Narnia? We're not Narnians yet, right?!
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: Narnia @ NYU?
Five-year-old to three-year-old brother: Listen, we're going to have food all winter. It's hibernation. You know what hibernation is, don't you? Hibernation is when animals eat a lot of food and sleep all winter. We're gonna hibernate!
–M104 Bus
Overheard by: Samantha
Little kid: Grandma, smell this! It's Obsession for Men!
–Bergdorf Goodman
Sobbing five-year-old girl to mom in CD section: I wanna download, I don't wanna waste my money.
–Borders, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Can records labels sue toddlers?
Chick: I can’t believe you can talk about how much you love your country, and you don’t even pay taxes!
Dude: I’ve paid more taxes than you’ve sucked dick. Which is a lot.
Chick, after long pause: I don’t know why you’re walking so fast — nothing’s happening when we get to your apartment.
–4th St & the Bowery
Woman: I don’t know. I think I might wind up being single forever. I guess sometimes I think maybe I should have had children.
Chick: Well, you can have one of mine. If I have any, that is.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Kara
Woman #1: So, what you think about Duane?
Woman #2: Girl, he all up in my Kool-Aid and he don’t even know the flavah!
–Deli, Brooklyn
Overheard by: cloisterpunk
Big black lady: Oh, honey! What’s wrong, baby?
Weeping white girl: Oh… It’s nothing. I’ll be okay.
Big black lady: Boy problems?
Weeping white girl: … Yeah.
Big black lady: What did he do to you, dear? Did he… Did he beat you?
Weeping white girl, trying not to laugh: No! No, it was nothing like–
Big black lady: –Did he sleep with another woman?
Weeping white girl: No, he–
Big black lady: –Because if he did he’ll get an STD and die, don’t you worry.
–115th & Broadway
Girl #1: Well, this is cozy.
Guy #1 from the back: Let’s get to know a little about each other. Hi, my name’s Aaron*. I’m a Pisces, non-smoker, but a heavy drinker.
Girl #2: Hi, I’m Becca. I’m a Taurus, and I really like Chinese food.
Guy #2: This is the best elevator ever.
Girl #3 as door opens: Get the fuck off of me.
–Track 3 elevator, Penn Station
Black woman #1: I think Tony could be your sugar daddy.
Black woman #2: Ummm, no.
Black woman #1: Why not?
Black woman #2: No, I don’t think so.
Black woman #1: Why? You guys get along so well.
Black woman #2: Because I think he has a sugar daddy.
–Office building, Midtown
Girl #1: So I said I’m not sure if I’m gonna take his last name; it seems really old-fashioned.
Girl #2: What’d he say?
Girl #1: He said an engagement ring is old-fashioned, but I took that.
–Rockefeller Center
Woman: But no one will take care of me!
Man: Don't worry baby, I know where the crack is.
Woman, excitedly: You do!
–29th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Mama B
