Woman to friend: So you're back in New York again.
Hobo drinking Starbucks, passing by: This isn't New York. (pause) This is heaven.
–79th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katherine
Woman to friend: So you're back in New York again.
Hobo drinking Starbucks, passing by: This isn't New York. (pause) This is heaven.
–79th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katherine
Wife: Why are the boys wearing skirts?
Husband: Those aren't skirts. They're kilts. It's the uniform for pipers.
Wife: Oh. I didn't know that was a religion.
–W 46th St
Teenage girl #1: I go to a Christian school.
Teenage girl #2: Aren't you Jewish?
Teenage girl #1: Yeah, they love me. They think I'm the chosen one!
–3rd Ave & 15th St
30-something guy to friend: It's just like I always say! The Germans should've bombed New York!
–8th St
Guy with rainbow bead necklace, about protesters of Scientology: Nobody gets the point across without explosions.
–Outside Richard Rodgers Theater
Overheard by: Unlucky at Lotto
Man at Yankee parade: C'mon guys! Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
–Broadway & Murray Street
Overheard by: Kat
Woman: The last time I blew up my nether regions.
–Imperial Theater, 57th
20-something girl to another: You know, with most of the other saints, the way they met their demise had no entertainment value!
–Morningside Heights
Woman to guy, nodding thoughtfully: Hell, no, I'm not going to jail! I don't care if he killed him, he's not gonna kill me too!
–Crown Heights
Grandpa wearing Brooklyn dodgers cap to grandson: Listen to me! Are you listening to me? The last two guys who didn't listen to me ended up dead with their heads blown off! Is that what you want? (pause) So… You hungry?
–IKEA Parking, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gene D. Gray
30-something guy: If I were 28, in great shape, and everyone loved me, I wouldn't just be in trouble with the law, I'd be dead.
–Mooncake Foods, Soho
Overheard by: Robert
Crazy Puerto Rican with wild poodle: Mira! Mira! Cancel the fucking casket–she ain't dead yet, bitch! Mira!
–86th St & East End
Slightly vacant suit: If there is a hell, I imagine it's a place where you have to pass nonstop stream of kidney stones for… forever.
Sympathetic friend, grabbing his crotch: Think there's plea bargaining in heaven?
–6 Train
African-American preacher: Everybody singing about Obama. Obaaaaammma. Obaaaaaaama. Obama ain't black, learn the truth, Obama is Al-Qaeda. Obama is Muslim. You know how Obama got them black man lips from smoking them Marlboro cigarettes.
Traditionally-dressed African-American man: You don't know what you're talking about, motherfucker. You were brainwashed by the white man.
African-American preacher: That's racist! The bible doesn't see in black and white. Obama's a homo! Obama's a baby killer!
–2 Train
Male office drone #1: So what do you think of them building a mosque by the World Trade Center?
Female office drone #1: I feel it's disrespectful. I have Muslim friends and I know they're not all terrorists, but there's mourning families to think about.
Male office drone #2: Why don't we put a statue of Hitler in Times Square? There might be some Germans who would want to pray to him.
Female office drone #2: Let them put up a mosque there and then fly a plane into it. Show them how it feels. (others look shocked) Not a manned plane, you know. One of those drones.
–Dunkin' Donuts, Lower Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
Professor: And why did Moses lead the Jews out of Egypt?
Student: Because he was stoned.
–NYU
Old black man #1: You know I'm goin' to court tomorrow?
Old black man #2: Yeah, I know. I'll be praying for you… I always do.
–Deli, 113th St & Lenox
