Girl #1: Did you like it?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was amazing.
Girl #1: What about Eric?
Girl #2: He wants to become a gay cowboy now.
–Mary Ann’s Restaurant, 2nd Avenue & 5th Street
Overheard by: Overly Attentive Diner
Girl #1: Did you like it?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was amazing.
Girl #1: What about Eric?
Girl #2: He wants to become a gay cowboy now.
–Mary Ann’s Restaurant, 2nd Avenue & 5th Street
Overheard by: Overly Attentive Diner
Woman: When I got into college I entered into a world of sausage.
Man: Uh…
Woman: Come on!
–D Train
Overheard by: pop pop
Gay #1: How is being gay going for you?
Gay #2: I don’t really jibe with the culture.
Gay #1: Like what?
Gay #2: The music.
–7A Cafe, East Village
Naive heterosexual friend: So when did you know you were gay?
Flamboyant homosexual friend: When I was sucking my daddy's dick while he was fucking my mom.
Naive heterosexual friend: Wow. Just… wow.
–SoHo
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess I should have seen it coming. I mean, he bought himself like every season of the Gilmore Girls. Nothing straight about that.
Girl #2: My boyfriend likes the Gilmore Girls.
Girl #1. Oh, well, yeah… I mean, it is a pretty good show.
Girl #2: He really has the hots for Lorelai.
Girl #1: Yeah, okay.
–Starbucks
Guy #1: Why are there so many homosexual Republicans? You hear about that eBay thing?
Guy #2: Ummm… No.
Guy #1: Yeah, that Mark Foley guy put his massage table up for bid, so I sent a message asking, ‘If I win, will I catch the gay?’
Guy #2: Well, did he respond?
Guy #1: He said yeah!
–Bathroom, Vig 27
Tourist chick: He’s not gay, he’s just neurotic!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scott
Girl: He’s not gay, he just has a lot of feelings!
–Grand Central
Hipster on cell: Yo, I want to tell you something. I do not want to go down on everyone… Well, I’m not gay, so that cuts it in half right there.
–17th & 8th
Suit to himself: Thanks, but I’m not gay!
–45th & 6th
Overheard by: Alisa
Little boy sitting with haggard-looking mom singing to the tune of Pinky and the Brain song: My penis, my penis is not gay, gay, gay, gay, gay!
–1 train
Overheard by: wondering what network plays reruns of Pinky and the Brain
FDNY lieutenant to EMTs: Hey, get this! Some guy just called 911 because some guy looked scary!
–34th & 10th
Overheard by: guy in back of ambulance
Gay guy to another: I'm terrified of successful women!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Moy
(guy with drums finishes a performance in the train)
Guy with drums: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. Help a brother out and donate some money if you enjoyed this performance. (lady in front of him looks scared)
Please donate and if you don't know what to do or are scared, smile and nod. Everything will be okay.
–E Train
Overheard by: Sleepy
Crazy bag lady to high school boy: I ain't scared of you. I'll beat you with a crowbar. Cuz I gotta crowbar in my pussy and it's way up there!
–B54 Bus
Suit on cell: And I was scared, right? Because her legs were open in the cemetery.
–Gramercy Park
Teenybopper twelve-year-old #1: He was cute and all, but not oozing or anything.
Teenybopper twelve-year-old #2: Oh no honey, he was definitely oozing. He was hot.
–R Train
Overheard by: Fareesa
