The Day Mombolu Changed Professions

Talkative hobo, seeing woman holding papers about Africa: What's up in Africa? You don't look African.
Dignified woman: I used to work in Angola.
Talkative hobo: That's the best kind of job to have, where they pay to send you all over the world. Damn, I bet it costs $2000 to fly to Angola if you were paying for it out of your own pocket.
Dignified woman: Actually, it costs more than that. It's about $4000 to fly to Angola and back from here.
Talkative hobo: Holy shit! $4000 to fly to Angola and back? Do you know how much weed I could buy for $4000? I could sit my ass in the park all day and smoke myself to death! Damn!

–1 Train

Posted on July 12, 2018
Death, Hobos, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, On the Subway, Passengers, Physical appearance, Questions, Strangers, Travel, Weed, Women

Unless It's Stir Fry.

Stranger #1: Now we're movin'! Now we be cookin' with grease!
Stranger #2: What kind? Saturated or unsaturated?
Stranger #1: The kind where you just drop somebody in and fry their ass.
Stranger #2: Oh, I'm not into cannibalism.

–Line, Credit Union, 9th & 31st

Overheard by: bored in a bank

Posted on May 7, 2018
Ass, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Food, Questions, Strangers, Weirdness

There Was Abundant Opportunity for a “Help Me with My Organ” Joke

Chick to guy on cell: Excuse me — this is a random question, but are you a piano tuner?
Guy on cell, pausing to stare at chick: That is the most random question someone has ever asked me in my entire life. [Walks away.]

–Clinton & Joralemon, Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: WTF?

Posted on May 1, 2018
Brooklyn, Questions, Strangers

Well This Is a Vegan Charity!

Sidewalk solicitor, eagerly carrying clipboard: Would you please help the…
Pitch target: No spam! (walks away briskly, not looking back)

–7th Ave

Posted on April 28, 2018
Activists, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Comebacks, Manhattan, Money & Class, Only in New York, Strangers

What Brand, Damn It, What Brand?

Girl to friend: I can’t decide which brand of shampoo and conditioner I want this time.
Random shopper, pointing to bottle: Get this kind. It made my pubes soft and wispy.

–CVS Pharmacy, Union Square

Overheard by: hoken chong

Posted on April 22, 2018
Advice, Hair, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

Dirty, Sexy Wednesday One-Liners

Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yammering away on cell: Is it totally acceptable to have sex on the beach there?

–43rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Anna Rose

Teen boy to friend: If I were a giant I'd fuck the Statue of Liberty!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Henry

Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast infection, I'm gonna bang the shit out of him.

–McDonald's, Times Square

Overheard by: Keep It Movin'

Black guy on cell: Penetration?! Penetration?! It ain't about penetration, it's all about sensation.

–E 4th St

Overheard by: girl named sugar

Drunk man to drunk woman, while making out against a car: Let's just go with it…let's just fuck on top of the car.

–Bleecker & Macdougal

Girl to the guy at the next table: Haven't I slept with you before?

–Stabrucks, 78th & Lexington

Overheard by: Ashlee

Posted on March 21, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Biotechs, Black People, Cars and Driving, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Height, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Starbucks, Statue of Liberty, STDs, Strangers, Street, Teens, The Village, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Fuck Amber Waves Of Grain– That's Our True National Treasure

Veteran on train: You know why America is the best country on earth?
NJ guy: Um, because we got the most stable economy and the greatest people. And because we fight terrorism where the rest of the countries aren't pulling their weight.
Veteran: Yep, I reckon that's all true. But I'll tell you, this week when I was visiting New York, I went to this soup place and ordered macaroni. And this macaroni was white, I mean with white cheese…not yellow. I mean, can you imagine white cheese? You think other countries have white cheese? I mean, in America you can have anything!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Horrified

Posted on February 3, 2018
B & T, Compare/Contrast, Ew, Jersey, Food, Strangers, Stupidity, Terrorism, Train Station, Trains Not Subway

Wednesday One-Liners Have the City's Shittiest Job

Comedy club promoter: Comedy club, comedy club. Laugh until you get violent diarrhea!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Patrick

Comedy promoter to girl walking by: Hey, you like comedy? (girl ignores him) Yeah, you the strong, silent type… I like that in a woman.

–48th & Broadway

Overheard by: MsPrint

Comedy show ticket salesman on sidewalk: Comedy show! Free vibrators! New batteries!

–Times Square

Guy promoting comedy club to couple holding hands: Hey, what are you two doing tonight? …besides each other?

–Times Square

Comedy promoter: Want to see a comedy show? We've got free marijuana downstairs.

–W 43rd St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Daniel

Posted on November 20, 2017
All Wednesday One-Liners, Couples, Dildos and Vibrators, Free stuff!, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Laughter, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, One-liners, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Sex, Strangers, Street, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Wishes & desires

I Teach a Class at the Community College on Wednesday Evenings

Dude to female friend: How can a woman be charged with sexual harassment?
Trashy white lady passerby: Wanna find out?

–W 8th & MacDougal

Posted on October 13, 2017
Pick-up Lines, Questions, Strangers, The Village

Do You Even Need the Ferry?

Big guy to girlfriend after stepping on her feet in the crowd: I'm sorry. It's not my fault I have these huge boats for feet.
Random lady: They could be canoes…

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal

Posted on October 1, 2017
Apologies, Body Parts, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Ferry, Physical appearance, Staten Island Ferry, Strangers

Strangers