Girl #1: Do you ever have one of those days where you just want to fuck someone up?
Random guy: I’m single!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: alice c.
Girl #1: Do you ever have one of those days where you just want to fuck someone up?
Random guy: I’m single!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: alice c.
Talkative hobo, seeing woman holding papers about Africa: What's up in Africa? You don't look African.
Dignified woman: I used to work in Angola.
Talkative hobo: That's the best kind of job to have, where they pay to send you all over the world. Damn, I bet it costs $2000 to fly to Angola if you were paying for it out of your own pocket.
Dignified woman: Actually, it costs more than that. It's about $4000 to fly to Angola and back from here.
Talkative hobo: Holy shit! $4000 to fly to Angola and back? Do you know how much weed I could buy for $4000? I could sit my ass in the park all day and smoke myself to death! Damn!
–1 Train
Stranger #1: Now we're movin'! Now we be cookin' with grease!
Stranger #2: What kind? Saturated or unsaturated?
Stranger #1: The kind where you just drop somebody in and fry their ass.
Stranger #2: Oh, I'm not into cannibalism.
–Line, Credit Union, 9th & 31st
Overheard by: bored in a bank
Chick to guy on cell: Excuse me — this is a random question, but are you a piano tuner?
Guy on cell, pausing to stare at chick: That is the most random question someone has ever asked me in my entire life. [Walks away.]
–Clinton & Joralemon, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: WTF?
Sidewalk solicitor, eagerly carrying clipboard: Would you please help the…
Pitch target: No spam! (walks away briskly, not looking back)
–7th Ave
Girl to friend: I can’t decide which brand of shampoo and conditioner I want this time.
Random shopper, pointing to bottle: Get this kind. It made my pubes soft and wispy.
–CVS Pharmacy, Union Square
Overheard by: hoken chong
Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yammering away on cell: Is it totally acceptable to have sex on the beach there?
–43rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Anna Rose
Teen boy to friend: If I were a giant I'd fuck the Statue of Liberty!
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: Henry
Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast infection, I'm gonna bang the shit out of him.
–McDonald's, Times Square
Overheard by: Keep It Movin'
Black guy on cell: Penetration?! Penetration?! It ain't about penetration, it's all about sensation.
–E 4th St
Overheard by: girl named sugar
Drunk man to drunk woman, while making out against a car: Let's just go with it…let's just fuck on top of the car.
–Bleecker & Macdougal
Girl to the guy at the next table: Haven't I slept with you before?
–Stabrucks, 78th & Lexington
Overheard by: Ashlee
Veteran on train: You know why America is the best country on earth?
NJ guy: Um, because we got the most stable economy and the greatest people. And because we fight terrorism where the rest of the countries aren't pulling their weight.
Veteran: Yep, I reckon that's all true. But I'll tell you, this week when I was visiting New York, I went to this soup place and ordered macaroni. And this macaroni was white, I mean with white cheese…not yellow. I mean, can you imagine white cheese? You think other countries have white cheese? I mean, in America you can have anything!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Horrified
Comedy club promoter: Comedy club, comedy club. Laugh until you get violent diarrhea!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Patrick
Comedy promoter to girl walking by: Hey, you like comedy? (girl ignores him) Yeah, you the strong, silent type… I like that in a woman.
–48th & Broadway
Overheard by: MsPrint
Comedy show ticket salesman on sidewalk: Comedy show! Free vibrators! New batteries!
–Times Square
Guy promoting comedy club to couple holding hands: Hey, what are you two doing tonight? …besides each other?
–Times Square
Comedy promoter: Want to see a comedy show? We've got free marijuana downstairs.
–W 43rd St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Daniel
Dude to female friend: How can a woman be charged with sexual harassment?
Trashy white lady passerby: Wanna find out?
–W 8th & MacDougal
