Chinese doctor: Where you from?
Nurse: Poland.
Chinese doctor: Good, you speak Czechlosvakian. I need to translate, this man is from Beirut.
–Elmhurst Hospital, Queens
Chinese doctor: Where you from?
Nurse: Poland.
Chinese doctor: Good, you speak Czechlosvakian. I need to translate, this man is from Beirut.
–Elmhurst Hospital, Queens
Check in girl: I only like buying books with sparkles on the cover.
–York & 72nd
Overheard by: fance
Teenage girl on cell: I gotta find this book in the religion section. You know, it's like… it's not that you believe in god, or you don't believe in god, but that you just don't care? I want that book!
–Borders Bookstore, Midtown
Amtrak conductor: A free copy of Amtrak's Arrive magazine is located in your seat pocket. For those seeking enlightenment, this magazine is the first step.
–Train, Penn Station
Student, discussing The Sound and the Fury: I suppose it's a very *artsy* ending–a big, retarded guy holding a broken flower… Does that come with skinny jeans and an apartment in Williamsburg?
–Stuyvesant High School
Tipsy 30-something nerd: We can't all be riding escalators with hard-ons.(older woman turns around) What, lady? It's a literary reference, look it up!
–1st & 7th
Overheard by: Phyllis Dean
Employee: Would you like to try a new Portuguese wine?
Customer: I love South American wines!
–Cabrini Wines, Hudson Heights
Woman #1: Wow, are those peaches?
Woman #2: Yeah, peaches.
Woman #1: Wow, I thought they only grew in poor countries.
–Community garden, 9th & C
Overbearing mother, discussing wedding registry: Get a teapot.
Obnoxious squeaky-voiced bride-to-be: But I don't drink tea!
Overbearing mother: Someone might come over who does. Get a coffee thing, too.
Obnoxious squeaky-voiced bride-to-be: But I don't know how to make coffee! That's what Starbucks is for!
–Bouchon Bakery, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: office peon
Deli guy (to another deli guy): He’s got a shrimp salad sandwich too. Here, I’ll mark the paper for you so you don’t get confused. I know your brain, it don’t work so good. Do you want me to write it in Mexican or in English?
Hobo: When I point, everybody smell collard greens.
–6 train
Young woman #1: Guys never want to eat me out.
Middle-aged dad with kids: Hey, we’re trying to eat over here.
Young woman #1: See, even hearing about it freaks them out.
Young man at next table: Maybe I can take a look for you and give you my assessment.
Middle-aged dad with kids: For God’s sake, this is a family restaurant!
Young woman #2: You have a very controversial vagina.
–Mickey D’s, Times Square
Guy: So…after she says that, I said, “Who would have ever thought to just cook lettuce?”
Girl: Woooooooooow.
–Bedford Street off Bleecker
Girl #1: …but I mean, it would have been so cute if we had gotten pregnant at the same time…
Girl #2: Yeah, i’m kinda bummed…
Girl #1: We would totally get our abortions together!
Girl #2: Oh my god, we would!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Penelope Galleon
