Girl: Did you just say “jubble”? That can’t be a real word.
Guy: It’s like, silent onomatopoeia.
Girl: There’s no such thing as silent onomatopoeia. The very definition of the word “onomatopoeia” contradicts silence.
Guy: Well, it’s like the sound that boobs would make if they made sound. They’d go “jubble, jubble, jubble.”
Girl: I’m afraid I’m going to have to smack you now. Seriously.
–13th & 3rd
Teen cashier: I’ll need to see some ID.
Female shopper: Ok, here you go.
Teen cashier: [Looks at woman’s driver’s license.] Oh wow, so you’re an organ donor?
Female shopper: Yes.
Teen cashier: Oh my god! Which organ did you donate?
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: rko
Guy #1: What do you think about calories? I don't believe they're real.
Guy #2 (humoring him): Yeah…
Guy #1: Yeah, I don't know about atoms either.
–F Train
Teen girl #1: Did you know that Always is, like, 60% more likely to cause yeast infections than other brands?
Teen girl #2: Do they fucking bake their pads?
–Macy’s
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl #1: Oh, Yahoo Japan, I thought it said Yoohoo.
Girl #2: What’s Yahoo? Is that a place in Japan?
–Dorms, Fordham University
Overheard by: MeganB
Brunette: That Secret Service guy was really rude!
Redhead: I know, and he wasn't in uniform, how does he expect us to know!
Brunette: Yeah, I want to complain. He shouldn't be out here without his uniform.
–Bowling Green Subway Entrance
Woman #1: Whose urine is this in the kitchen?
Woman #2: What urine?
Woman #1: The urine in front of the microwave.
Woman #2: That’s not where the urine goes.
–Office, UES
Stupid tourist girl: Where you heading?
Not-so-stupid tourist, pointing to Empire State Building: We're going there.
Stupid tourist girl: What's that?
Not-so-stupid tourist: Seriously? It's the Empire State Building.
Stupid tourist girl: How am I supposed to know? I've never been here before!
–E 14th St
Headline by: thirsy
Runners-Up:
· “Hey! There’s a Giant Drag Queen in the Harbor!” – Nick Pollotta
· “Now Tell Me About the Big Shiny Blue Thing in the East” – Nick Pollotta
· “That’s What You Said When We Went to the Bathroom” – BabakganoosH
· “Why Are All These Cars Yellow?” – pbump
· “Yet She Expects Me to Find the Clitoris” – joe
· “You Mean Earth, Right?” – aliensareamongus
Daughter, looking at “NJ Transit” sign: Why does it say we’re in New Jersey?!
Mother: Aren’t we?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jay
Teen boy, about someone in costume as zombie soldier: Aw, I shoulda had a military uniform!
Teen girl: Ugh, that's social commentary. I don't do that.
–47th & 8th, Zombie Crawl
Overheard by: Kaitlen
