Guy #1: Women should be kept in pods like in The Matrix. And whenever we want one, we just pay a fee and rent them for a few days for sex and cooking. Then we put them back. They shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets…ever.
Guy #2: Or they should be put in a one big room where they sew and cook and sip tea until they get a call.
Guy #1: Yeah, that's a bit more humane, I guess.
–Spring & Varick
Guy: So are you, like, a writer?
Hobo: Umm…no.
–69th & 3rd
NYU girl #1: … Like those people who kill themselves by throwing themselves onto the subway tracks.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, right? I mean, I know you want to die and everything, but could you like not make me late??
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: wow
Punk chick: Yeah, so my boss totally has this $20,000 rock in his yard.
Hipster chick: No way, like a diamond?
Punk chick: No, like a fucking rock.
–6 train
Fat chick to cute friend's blind date: So, wait, is Jean Garafolo a man or a woman?
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Becka Dash
20-something blonde girl: Is there an English word for "quesadilla"?
–F Train
Checkout lady, pausing with a container of hummus after scanning it: Lots of people buy this stuff…what is it?
–Myrtle St
Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton
Woman entering RadioShack: Excuse me, do you have radios?
–RadioShack, 72nd & Broadway
B9 bus driver to passengers: Make a left here?
–B9 Bus
Overheard by: VeganBeauty
Short man in glasses, suit, and ankle cast: Hey, I've got some great new music for you.
Tall blonde model: Oh, really?
Short man: Yeah! I've got the new David Guetta album three months before it's supposed to come out. It's got this song with Akon called Sexy Bitch.
Tall blonde model: Wow, cool!
Short man: It's a song about you!
Tall blonde model, genuinely surprised: Tee-hee! Really?
–Hotel down from the rooftop bar at the Gansevoort
Teenage blonde girl to another: You know what pisses me off? You can't look American.
Friend: Umm, yeah you can.
Teenage blonde girl: No, because you would have to look Indian, but all the Indians are dead. Christopher Columbus killed them all. I'm still really mad about that.
–G Train
Excited girl: Oh, look! A block party!
Other girl: Nope. That's a group of homeless people.
–92nd & 2nd
Twitchy dude to no one in particular: What? You selling something? What you selling? You all are devils! Devil worshipers! Bunch of devil worshipers! Devils, devils, devils! See you in hell! Oh…I won't be there, though.
–C Train
Hipster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheating on you with Satan. (pause) Yeah, now I'm pregnant and he won't marry me.
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Louisa
Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legally belongs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late!
–93rd St, Bay Ridge
Screaming man with ashes on forehead to man walking past on Ash Wednesday: You're going to hell you motherfucker!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BK
Woman on cell: Satan don't wear no panties, negro. That shit flies free.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Celia
Little boy: Arnold Schwarzenegger is the president's bodyguard.
Brother: No, he's not! He's the governor of California, dumbass!
–Washington Square Park
