A Little Wednesday One-Liner in a Big Pond

Drunk girl: I just love a cock in my mouth! It is a fact of my life, like Blair and Tootie. I want to be carnivorous. I will eat fish if it's the only thing on the menu, but I really just want some meat! I'm not fishiverous!

–Party, Ditmars Boulevard, Astoria

Overheard by: likes steak AND seafood

Girl to friend: Surely if she was ever in possession of a penis, then on merit she would inherit the family lobster farm?

–28th & 7th

Ginger: Garibaldi… That is so weird. That is the name of the California state fish. I wonder if the statue is named after the fish.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: camillo cavour

Man to wife: That's too much calamari, even for a homeless guy.

–East Village

Posted on September 24, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, BJs, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Food, Friends, Girls, History & Geography, Homeless, Names, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Parks, Penis, Street, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Visual Art, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

I Thought “She” Was Terence Trent D’Arby

Chick #1: You know, a year ago I didn’t even know who Tracy Chapman was.
Chick #2: Even I knew who she was, and I’m not even black!
Chick #1: Well, I’m not black in the ways that count. I’m not outwardly, identifiably black…Well, except for my skin color.

–Broadway & 116th

Posted on September 22, 2022
Black People, Girls, Idiots, Music, Race, Singing, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-Liners Like to Watch

Girl on phone: This is so crazy because I was just watching Gossip Girl and I was like: "Oh my god, no one has dinner at Butter!" But then you just called me and invited me to dinner at Butter! It’s totally out of control.

–Barnard College

Man: The Tudors is like Law & Order for British actors. If you can’t get a job anywhere else, there’s always that.

–Cort Theater

Overheard by: office peon

Young man to friend: It’s called Tudor Place. Hey, you know that show on showtime, The Tudors? Maybe it’s that family and they moved over here. Because the buildings do look old.

–Bryant Park

Hipster: I watched Lost one time. I watched Lost one time! A big monsoon was coming and some dude closed a door on it. Closed a door on the monsoon! I was like: "Fuck this, I’m done."

–Outside an Irish Pub, 54th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: jon

Soccer mom: Charles in Charge was a consistently good show.

–51st St & 8th Ave

Posted on September 11, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bryant Park, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Jobs & Careers, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Names, On Cell, Stupidity, Theater, TV, Weather, Words

What About Ciara Mist?

Whole Foods employee #1: Yo man, do you know if we have any Kanye pepper?
Whole Foods employee #2: Nah, I think we’re out.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: Darling Pinky

Posted on September 10, 2022
9 to 5-ers, Coworkers, Default, Food, Questions, Stupidity, Trees and plants, Union Square and East Village, Whole Foods, Words

The Earth Got So Fat That Nobody Loves It

Boy: When I was little I used to think that if the planet got heavy enough, it would start to fall.
Friend: You must have been pretty smart to even think that when you were a little kid.
Boy: But what if I still think that?
Friends: Then you're a dumb ass.

–C Train

Overheard by: Rafael DaSilva

Posted on September 2, 2022
Age/Aging, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Insults, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity

I’m Reluctant to Say More

Dude: Hi, I’m looking for the World Trade Center.
Cop: Uhhh, yeah… You need to go to Manhattan.

–Ferry Terminal, Staten Island

Overheard by: Ghost Rock It

Posted on August 21, 2022
Cops, Ground Zero, Idiots, Staten Island Ferry, Stupidity, Tourism

Like the Pilgrims Used to Do with the Indians

Ditzy girl #1: It's so weird. You can actually have arguments on Facebook.
Ditzy girl #2: Yeah! You can follow people's arguments on wall-to-wall.
Ditzy girl #3: That's so stupid. Why go to all that trouble when you can just pick up your phone and send them a text?

–Downtown F Train

Overheard by: sam

Posted on August 12, 2022
Cell Phone, Facebook, Girls, On the Subway, Stupidity, Weirdness

“Oh man! I already got the genie pants!”

Teen boy #1: Yo man, I’m gonna join a gang!
Teen boy #2: Ah, ya? What gang?
Teen boy #1: Aladdin Kings.
Teen boy #3: What the fuck kinda Disney gang is that? Latin Kings, man! Latin Kings!

–A train

Posted on August 10, 2022
Boys, Idiots, Movies, Names, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Teens, Violence, Words

New Technology Makes Crazy-Spotting Harder Every Year

Technophobic lady: There was some crazy lady talking to herself in the bank.
Tech-Savvy lady: Are you sure? Did she have a Bluetooth?
Technophobic lady: I don’t think she had any teeth.

–54th & 10th