Columbia hipster girl #1: They were going out for a while.
Columbia hipster girl #2: Like, in college or in the real world?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Living a fantasy
Columbia hipster girl #1: They were going out for a while.
Columbia hipster girl #2: Like, in college or in the real world?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Living a fantasy
Queer #1: Okay, the question is, would you do Anderson Cooper?
Queer #2: I’d do him.
Queer #3: I’d do him too.
Queer #4: I wouldn’t do him.
Queer #5: I so wouldn’t do him.
Queer #6: I would do him.
Queer #1: I wouldn’t do him. Can anyone count? Was it a tie? Shit. Now what?
–Food Bar, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Laight
Student #1: Yo, what’s in Iceland?
Student #2: Nigga, what do you think? Ice, obviously!
Student #1: Don’t that mean Iceman lives there, then?
Student #2: Good question…
–High School for Environmental Studies, W 56th St
Chick: Excuse me, how much is it to use the computers?
Clerk: Two-fifty for 15 minutes.
Chick: So, how much is it for an hour?
Clerk: Ten dollars.
Chick: No, it’s not!
Clerk: … Yes, it is.
Chick: No way! It’s not! Stop lying!
Clerk: You know what? You can’t use the computers. Get out.
–Computer cafe, 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Tech Monkey
Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
Bimbo #1: I just want to move to another state, you know?
Bimbo #2: Yeah, like further south?
Bimbo #1: No, probably Australia.
Bimbo #2: Oh my God, me too! My cousin owns this train station, we could totally go!
Bimbo #1: Nah. I have a date tonight.
Headline by: johnny pissoff
Runners-Up:
· “All Aboard the Pangea Express” – Stitches
· “And Australia’s like, “WTF mate?”” – one L
· “Ashley crushes yet another of Jessica’s plans.” – Heidi
· “Besides, i dont speak german…” – senny
· “Crikey! Thank God the Stingrays Got Me Before They Arrived.” – Katie
· “Going Down, But Not Under” – sigh
· “It’s good to see Condy getting out more” – mp
· “Wait, You Have a Date? That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” – 08kjl
Frat boy #1: If he kills me, I will kill him!
Frat boy #2: Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: ihatevegs
Tourist #1: I wonder how they build streets on top of the subways.
Tourist #2: Hmm. You think they're strong enough that they can support the street all by themselves?
Tourist #1, after some thought: Nah, there's gotta be a layer of dirt between them or something.
–42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Matt
Girl tourist #1: Oh my gosh, look at what that guy is wearing!
Girl tourist #2: Ew. Blue jacket, striped shirt, black pants, brown shoes with no socks. That’s terrible.
Girl tourist #1: Yeah, but, he can do that, right?
Girl tourist #2: Uh, no. Hello, nobody can get away with that.
Girl tourist #1: But, no, he can do that because he’s, like, really from New York.
–LaGuardia Airport
Suit on phone: I don't think she knows. (pause) But it's just a night job! (pause) No, there's no way I'm pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I'm a man, goddammit!
–Starbucks
Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?
–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road
Overheard by: Erica S
Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat!
–M100 Bus
Overheard by: Tinathetiny
Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: Ken Paprocki
