Small boy, after lengthy service: That was so long. Why did we have to wait so long?
Father: Well, it's all part of worshiping god.
Small boy: I hate god.
–St. Luke's Church, The Village
Overheard by: Sunny
Small boy, after lengthy service: That was so long. Why did we have to wait so long?
Father: Well, it's all part of worshiping god.
Small boy: I hate god.
–St. Luke's Church, The Village
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy: This girl just sent me a text that ended in a winky face. How should I respond?
Girl: Well, do you like her?
Guy: No, but I do want a blowjob.
–14th St
Overheard by: Good luck
Guy with British accent: I can't believe she blew me off again! It's not even like she had Jay-Z tickets!
Girl with British accent: No, she was just getting drunk with an Irishman!
–8th Street & Broadway
Overheard by: amalthya
Guy on cell: We get a little crazy wearing real pants. If we go to the store or something, we'll find ourselves bickering because we're wearing real pants.
–Washington Square Park
Traffic cop, motioning people to move quicker to clear the intersection: C'mon, people! They're real cars, they hit real hard!
–Broadway & Houston
Incredulous 30-something to tourist parents, during intermission of The Lion King: Well, I'm just really disappointed. I thought there were going to be real lions.
–Minskoff Theater
Overheard by: Not at the Circus
Lady in glasses on cell: Being naked is being real.
–West Broadway & Thomas St
Overheard by: Alex S.
Girl to friend: If it weren't for my sister's dog, I wouldn't have to drink during the day.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Kevin
Gay dude to another: It's so amazing how dogs get all up in there. Like, what if people had to introduce themselves that way? How great would it be if when I met you I had to sniff your ass?
–17th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: BT
Girl on cell: So wait, did Dr Siegel really charge you 150 dollars to chop a pimple off the dog's booty?
–Hart & Irving, Brooklyn
Girl to guy: Ever spend a lot of time with a Shih Tzu?
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Female voice outside my window: And I'm keeping the dog leg–I don't even care what you have to say!
–113th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk tourist on fire escape, yelling at 2 am: I love NY! If I move up here can I live with you?
Neighbor, yelling back: No!
–3rd St, Havemeyer
NYU girl with cigarette, calling inside deli: You guys got champagne in here?
Clerk: No. Go away.
NYU girl: Okay! Thanks, bye!
Clerk, to self: Happy Monday.
–Broadway & 8th St
Drunk chick #1, as she looks in the mirror: Hey guys!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Yeahhhh?
Drunk chick #1: I can't wait to go home and have sex with Cody* tonight! I love him so much!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Drunk chick #1, truly forlorn: But I have my period!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Ewwwwwwwwwwww!
Drunk chick #1: It's okay. He's dumb. He won't know the difference.
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Yayyyyy!
–Ladies' Room, Lotus, W 14th St
Overheard by: Uhm…
Guy: Did you know there is veggie porn?
Girlfriend: No, I didn't.
Guy: I'll send you the link.
Girlfriend: Not interested, but you can look all you want.
Guy: Not for me… I'm not a vegetarian, although I'm eating vegetarian.
–14th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: AsianLatino
Lesbian #1: I thought you said your probation officer was out of town this week?
Lesbian #2: My probation officer? My probation officer don't know shit!
–Bleecker & Sullivan
