NYU student #1: Oh, how 'bout here? Its 20% off for students.
NYU student #2: Yeah, but I will shit for weeks.
–Bleecker & Thompson
NYU student #1: Oh, how 'bout here? Its 20% off for students.
NYU student #2: Yeah, but I will shit for weeks.
–Bleecker & Thompson
Patron to bartender goon: I'll have a hot cocoa, please.
Bartender goon: Cocoa? What the fuck do I know about cocoa?
–Diner, 14th St & 6th Ave
Headline by: Leary Blaine
Runners-Up:
· “His Mom Used to Give Him Beer Before Bedtime” – Vasyl
· “It’s Like a Hot Carl, but with Marshmallows” – I’ll have one straight up
· “It’s Like a Sex on the Beach, Only with Dark Sand” – Sandy Paws
· “Just Kidding… Password Accepted; Third Door on Your Right” – Dustin
· “The Same Question That Got Him Fired from Starbucks” – version
· “Unless You’re Referring to That Stripper That Used to Work Here” – Ramsey
· “Way to Go Glen Cocoa” – Mean Girlz
Woman to friend: Look, I just don't want to be born again, okay? I saw how you attacked that Jewish woman in the airport.
–Broadway & 10th St
Overheard by: Stephanie
Patron: Jews for Jesus are just reformed black panthers.
–Turkish Kitchen, 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Pola
Student who has just drawn a stereotypical Jew to another who has drawn Jesus on the cross: Wait–wait, Jesus was Jewish?
–Bronx High School Of Science, Judaic Cultural Society
Girl at birthday supper: I get all Jewish and entitled when anyone tries to tell me "no!"
–8th Ave & 43rd St
Overheard by: Lankyguy
Jock to another: And then he like tried to fuck me. I guess that's what I get for spending the night at a dude's house. I mean he was Jewish and all, so he was really nice but still…
–23rd St & Lexington
Hobo #1: Ya know what?
Hobo #2: Does it look like I know what?
–Washington Place & Broadway
Overheard by: ksm
Young blonde to mother: Giselle just made me feel stupid.
Mother: Well, it was the way she laughed at you.
–9th Ave & Little West 12th St
Overheard by: west villager
Queer #1 to friend: I could have been drinking.
Queer #2, coming out of London Boutique: But I was shopping!
Queer #1: But now I'm sober!
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Colleen Elizabeth Campagna
Girl: You chased me with a burger!
Guy: For me to have chased you, you'd had to have run from it!
–Broadway & 8th
Overheard by: Matt Koff
Drunk thug, reflecting on his baby-mama's new man: I love motherfuckin' guns, and that's the bottom line, but I don't wanna go to jail.
–Bar, Cortelyou Road
Boy to limping blonde struggling to keep up: Oh my god, if you were a horse I would shoot you.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: The Game
Father to two small children, pulling them away from the register: C'mon, guys. Let's go before mommy shoots herself.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th & Broadway
Loud black girl: It's Manhattan, I don't have to worry about getting shot.
–NYU
Guy on cell: Hey man, aren't you tired of being shot?
–Queens Center Mall
Truck driver to cab driver: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck outta the way!
Guy pushing baby stroller: Fucking cunt!
–Crosby & Houston
Morbidly obese daughter: She yelled at me and told me to stop.
Morbidly obese mother: Ignore her, you just keep humming.
–Greenwich St & Horatio St
Overheard by: way to parent.
Headline by: Ron D.
Runners-Up:
· “…Like a Fridge” – Paul Tabachneck
· “Fat Girls Give the Best Hummers” – KJM
· “It’s the Only Exercise You Get Anyway” – amy the rat
· “The Subway Ride Ain’t Over Till the Fat Lady Hums” – sammie
· “What Are the Odds That There’s a McDonald’s at Greenwich & Horatio?” – Rich
