Guy #1: Today's going by so fast. I can't believe it's almost one.
Guy #2: Yeah, today needs to slow down. I don't want to approach my death so quickly.
–Elevator, The Village
Overheard by: Laura
Guy #1: Today's going by so fast. I can't believe it's almost one.
Guy #2: Yeah, today needs to slow down. I don't want to approach my death so quickly.
–Elevator, The Village
Overheard by: Laura
Woman: Fridays in publishing are half days. You get out at noon.
Man, seriously: Well, publishing's a joke.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Cass
Two-year-old boy to mom: And after dinner, it's butt-shaking time!
–Brooklyn Heights
Tot in stroller: Mommy, I want the tabouleh… Mommy! My tabouleh!
–Food Emporium
Little brother pestering older brother playing PSP: What do you like better, Nutella or A-Rod?
–Stanton Tailor Shop
Two-year-old, after falling to floor when train swerved: Mother, I resent that.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl to guy she's been talking to for last half hour: Half the time I'm talking to you I wanna slap you.
Guy: Then why do you talk to me?
–St. John's University
Man: You're gonna have to accept that if, say, we're having a romantic afternoon and we pass a hottie on the street, I will check her out, then have to run over, tackle her, dry hump her, and then run away from her, yelling, “I'm sor-ry!” I can't be held accountable for my behavior.
Woman: Yes, you can.
Man: It must be great to be a duck. No relationships. Just eating and living.
Woman: Ducks have relationships.
Man: No, they don't.
Woman: They're like one of the only mammals that have relationships.
Man: No.
Woman: I mean, at least they are couples, like they pair up.
Man: Yeah, but that's like just for the day.
–Central Park Pond
Overheard by: Jalmasy
Waitress: Would you like another martini?
NYU girl, pensively: Umm… I don't know. I have to leave in 15 minutes. Do you think I can get it in?
Waitress: How fast do you drink?
NYU girl: Yeah, pretty fast. Okay, another of the same.
–Lure Fishbar
20-something woman on cell: I fuck you, I get dinner. He fucks you, he gets a house!
–Washington Square
Girl: Earthquakes come every ten years, and it's not that bad. It's not like your house goes down or something.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: mia
Excited kindergartner: We played house and then we played going to the co-op!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Elderly man to another: People are gonna kill people, they just need to do it in their own house.
–Austin St & 77th Ave
20-something: So yeah, we used to hang out in elementary school. He'd come over my house, kinda like a "whose cock is bigger?" kinda thing.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: AnnaBanana
Girl #1: So I changed my MySpace page to this lake at night with an orange moon.
Girl #2: Orange moon? Are you sure it's not a sun?
Girl #1: Yeah, it's night.
–Queens
Overheard by: Jax
Undergrad student #1: The day after Valentine's Day is a holiday, right?
Undergrad student #2: Yeah, it's like Veterans Day or something.
Undergrad student #3: I think it's Martin Luther King's Day.
Undergrad student #1: I thought that was last month.
Undergrad student #3: No, February is Black History Month.
–St. John's University, Queens Campus
Large group of people dressed like Santa: What do we want? Christmas! When do we want it? Now!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: TR
Gay guy on cell: You don't want to see white Christmas. Honey, you don't understand… That was the whitest Christmas I have ever seen.
–Broadway & 43rd
20-something woman to 20-something guy, in April: It wouldn't be Christmas without you.
–Stromboli's Pizza
Mom to child yelling at her: Who do you think you're talking to? That's it, Christmas is over for you!
–135th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Yowza
Normal-looking woman to no one in particular: Look at Santa. The same letters as "Satan." Do you think Christmas has anything to do with Jesus? Where in the Bible does it say Jesus was born on December 24th? I tell you, Santa is Satan.
–Xmas Tree Stand, High School
Staples employee, in response to radio: Man! I want to move to Vietnam, or Pakistan, or wherever the fuck they don't care about Christmas.
–Staples, Union Square
Overheard by: Damon H.
Man to friend during interval: Have you heard about the Scientology Christmas pageant?
–Carnegie Hall
