Black woman: You look like Vanna White.
White girl: Really?
Black woman: Don’t she look like Vanna White?
Queer: Yes, but better.
Black woman: What do you mean better! Vanna is rich and shit. And on TV. And this bitch over here has nothing. She’s on the subway, for Christ’s sake!
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: JR
White woman: Do you have a middle name?
Black guy: James. James Bond.
White woman: What?
Black guy: James Bond.
White woman: You’re fired!
–Broadway & Cortlandt
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Really gay guy: So you know how there's nothing on on tv in the summer? I started watching the gayest tv show ever.
Really gay friend: Yeah? Like what?
Really gay guy, conspiratorially: Star Trek: Voyager.
–Kashkaval, 55th & 9th
Overheard by: office peon
Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.
–A Train
Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?
–Halloween Adventure
Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!
–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria
Overheard by: kathcom
Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!
–Downtown 6 Train
Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.
–Downtown 6 train
Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: J. Ra
Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.
–Soho
Overheard by: Edan
Tourist lady #1: Oh, look. Mario Lopez is in Chorus Line.
Tourist lady #2: I don't know who that is.
Tourist lady #3, lasciviously: Oooh, Mario Lopez.
Tourist lady #1, to lady #2: You've never heard of Mario Lopez?
Tourist lady #2: No.
Tourist lady #1: You've never seen him on TV?
Tourist lady #2: No. What's he been in?
Tourist lady #1: He has an eight pack instead of a six pack! Tee-hee!
–51st St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jessi Spano
Tween girl on tour #1: This hallway smells like a hospital.
Tween girl on tour #2: Yeah, it reminds me of my mom’s wake.
Tween girl on tour #1: Yeah, mine too.
–NBC Studios, 30 Rock
Mother: I'm so glad you want to learn about voting!
Five-year-old girl, to employee: Where are your books about Joe Biden?
(ten minutes later)
Five-year-old girl, screaming at the magazine rack: I want the magazine with the lady from TV on it!
Mother: Use your indoor voice. You know what her name is.
Five-year-old girl: But…I love Oprah.
–Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington
Aging Dungeons & Dragons geek #1: Man, I have to poop.
Aging D&D geek #2: Hmm.
Aging D&D geek #1: This is seriously becoming a problem… especially on Monday nights when I have to poop.
Aging D&D geek #2: Yeah?
Aging D&D geek #1: Yeah. See, I get home from work and I eat until about 8:30 but then I have to watch 24 and I don’t have time to poop. I don’t even have time to poop during the commercials.
–B train
Overheard by: girl trying NOT to overhear
Girl #1: Yeah, I guess I should have seen it coming. I mean, he bought himself like every season of the Gilmore Girls. Nothing straight about that.
Girl #2: My boyfriend likes the Gilmore Girls.
Girl #1. Oh, well, yeah… I mean, it is a pretty good show.
Girl #2: He really has the hots for Lorelai.
Girl #1: Yeah, okay.
–Starbucks
Barnard girl: Does anyone here like Naruto?
Tisch girl: I looooove 90210!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Karina
