Poet, selling books: All of these books are signed, and when I go on Oprah, you can sell them on eBay!
Passenger: Let’s hear a poem then!
Poet: You wanna hear a poem? “Neighbor’s dog leaving feces on the sidewalk. Squish! Damn. Luck stinks.”
Old man, mumbling: Who wants to read that kind of bullshit?
–6 Train
Guy in moose costume, sarcastically, on Halloween: Like people are really gonna remember a random-ass character from Sesame Street…
Guy in Yip Yip costume: So you'd rather be a fucking moose?
–Rivington & Clinton
Overheard by: TR
Girl #1: I am like, totally addicted to Days of our Lives.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I am so fucked up, because this one character totally got fired and they put another guy in his place. I can’t even watch him, because, you know, he’s not the same guy.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, it’s really fucked up my TV viewing schedule. I mean, what am I going to watch, one of the judge shows?
Girl #2: Well, you could go to class or study instead….
Girl #1: I don’t need to. I’m studying to be a second wife. That girl’s shoes are so cute. They would match my bag. Excuse me, where’d you get those shoes?
Girl #3: My husband.
Girl #1: See, class dismissed.
–53rd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Kimbers614
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #1: I can’t believe David Schwimmer didn’t say hello to us!
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #2: Was it something we said?
Too-cool-for-school-yuppie #1: Maybe he didn’t see us.
–The Village
Overheard by: Surprise, surprise…
Straight guy #1: I saw this show on TV about guys who would date girls even if they have a penis ‘cuz they were so hot!
Straight guy #2: Penis is definitely the deal breaker for me.
–187th St & Broadway
Hyper JAP: So then I was like, "Hey, you can’t just sleep with me in your mom’s house and then leave, because I don’t even know your mom and I don’t care if she’s away."
Bored JAP: Right?
Hyper JAP: I blame Sex and the City for this.
Guy sitting nearby: Hey, blame it on you being a slut! Damn.
–Starbucks, 38 Park Row
Overheard by: Katelyn
Drunk muscular hipster, after walking into a glass door (shouting): Yeah, you can laugh at me now, but you won't be laughing when I take my story to Fox News, jerk-wads!
–L Train
Overheard by: Tom in Bushwick
Black woman: You look like Vanna White.
White girl: Really?
Black woman: Don’t she look like Vanna White?
Queer: Yes, but better.
Black woman: What do you mean better! Vanna is rich and shit. And on TV. And this bitch over here has nothing. She’s on the subway, for Christ’s sake!
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: JR
White woman: Do you have a middle name?
Black guy: James. James Bond.
White woman: What?
Black guy: James Bond.
White woman: You’re fired!
–Broadway & Cortlandt
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Really gay guy: So you know how there's nothing on on tv in the summer? I started watching the gayest tv show ever.
Really gay friend: Yeah? Like what?
Really gay guy, conspiratorially: Star Trek: Voyager.
–Kashkaval, 55th & 9th
Overheard by: office peon
