Wednesday One-Liners Should Not Be Taken If You Are Pregnant or Nursing

Kid to friend: Is your dad in town? I need Ambien CR.

–Saatchi & Saatchi, Hudson St

Overheard by: dlr

Guy on cell: No, they never came. [Pause.] I just never got them! [Pause.] I told you you can’t just send random pills through the mail!

–Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Strung out middle-aged lesbian: How long does that detox stuff take to work? I need to be clean of the Xanax by my doctor’s appointment next week. He knows I’m on meth, but he can’t find out I’m on Xanax.

–E Train

Worried suit: …But I can’t be on Zoloft, so I don’t know what to do.

–E 14th St

Patient to friend: He asked for an Ensure. He got an Ambien instead.

–NYS Psychiatric Institute

Overheard by: nonrandomerror

Suit: Her meds worked better this audition season -you could tell.

–Oriental Garden

Posted on September 20, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Drugs, Family Ties, Friends, Guys, Hospitals, Kids, Lesbians, Medicine, On Cell, On the Subway, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wishes & desires

Tonight's Movie: Charlie and the Chocolate Martini

Girl on cell: Dude, drunk chocolate is the best!
Random man passing by: Yes, it is.

–Union Square

Posted on September 14, 2022
Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Girls, On Cell, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

People Here Are Way Too Busy Being Hip

Drunk guy #1, to buddies: Hey, fuckheads! It's this way!
Drunk guy #2: Man, we totally almost just died.
Drunk guy #1: Dude, no one is gonna to kill you here. We're in the East Village.

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: JD

Posted on September 13, 2022
Death, Drunks, Guys, Murder, Nicknames & name calling, Union Square and East Village

What About Ciara Mist?

Whole Foods employee #1: Yo man, do you know if we have any Kanye pepper?
Whole Foods employee #2: Nah, I think we’re out.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: Darling Pinky

Posted on September 10, 2022
9 to 5-ers, Coworkers, Default, Food, Questions, Stupidity, Trees and plants, Union Square and East Village, Whole Foods, Words

His Dentist Was a Garbage Pail Kid

Dude #1: I didn’t brush my tongue this morning.
Dude #2: Yeah, I didn’t have a cigarette.
Dude #1: No, I saw a sign that said, “Have you brushed your tongue today?”
Dude #3: No, you just have to go to the bathroom and throw up a little and then you’ll be all set.

–Union Square

Overheard by: tanechka

Posted on September 1, 2022
Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Poop, Union Square and East Village

When I Finally Have Sex, I’d Like It to Be with a Woman Who’s All Three

Chick: So, explain the difference to me.
Guy: ‘Cute’ is, like, the girl next door, ‘hot’ is, like, ‘I want to take her home right now!’ and ‘beautiful’ is, like, classic.
Chick: So, can a woman be all three?
Guy: In very rare situations…

–7th St, between 1st & 2nd Ave

Posted on August 30, 2022
Beauty, Frat Boys, Girls, Pickiness, Union Square and East Village

Almost As Sick As Your Power Dynamic?

Harassed mother to four-year-old: Max, can we pleeaase just take a cab, it's too cold to wait for a bus!
Four-year-old: No! Cabs make me feel sick!

–Union Square

Overheard by: cherrypips

Posted on August 26, 2022
Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Parents, Public Transportation, Union Square and East Village

Now That's Diversity

Black girl #1: I told all my white friends that I would be offended if they didn't get me a Kwanzaa present.
Black girl #2: What? I told all my white friends that I would be offended if they did get me a Kwanzaa present.

–Union Square