Grandma: Baby for sale! Baby for sale!
Dad: Ma, don’t do that!
Grandma: What? They know it’s a joke!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Tina L
Grandma: Baby for sale! Baby for sale!
Dad: Ma, don’t do that!
Grandma: What? They know it’s a joke!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Tina L
Southern tourist in pink pants: I don’t see anybody else wearing pink pants around here!
–73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Girl on cell, wearing leggings and a t-shirt: Oh, shit, I forgot to put on pants again.
–Columbia University
Lady in corner stall: Damn, I done sweated through my pants!
–Restroom, 1 Liberty Plaza
Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: bih.
Thug: I’m the only playa in the hood with his pants on his waist!
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: Kayla K
Conductor over intercom: Attention, all crew members! Be sure you have your pants! Hey, Larry, you got yo’ pants?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Geologist
Dorky guy: Maybe I’ll take you to Lucky Cheng’s.
Date: Huh?
Dorky guy: I thought you’d heard of it. See, men dress up as women there. They’re called transvestites. Some of them even have had surgery. I won’t really take you there. I just wanted to understand your thought process. See how you react when I throw something like that out there.
Date: What? Are you taking me there?
–14th St
Girl: You have got to go inside and tell my boyfriend not to get the nose ring. A real one’s OK, but a fake is just stupid.
–St. Mark’s Place
Man #1: I don’t know, do they have windows in Alaska?
Man #2: You mean like Microsoft Windows?
Man #1: No, I mean like windows.
–N platform, Union Square
Woman #1: How many potatoes should I get? Like, three?
Woman #2, shrieking: Three? Three?! Are you serious? Have you seen your husband lately?
Woman #1, confused: Four?
Woman #1: He eats more than I eat in a year! He's huge! You'll need at least fifteen potatoes!
Woman #2: Yeah, I guess you're right.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Sarah
Girl: Oh my gosh! You know what would be awesome? If lightning struck you, and you like got a permanent tan.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Glynnis
Woman: These invitations are really important! I mean, not only am I turning 40, but it’s a year to the day that I almost died!
–Staples, Union Square
Little girl: Hey Mom, there are dead people here too!
–X1 bus
Irish guy: Oh, what people don’t realize is that the Indians are
everywhere. They’re sprinkled around everywhere.
–First Prince Copy Center, Prince Street
Latino cashier #1: … And then he said he couldn’t tell us apart.
Latino cashier #2: That’s so insulting! Why wouldn’t he be able to tell you guys apart? It’s not like we’re Chinese!
–8th & Ave C
Overheard by: m.
Stumbling drunk woman, loudly: Do you have any b-l-o-w?!
Date: Great. Real subtle!
–E 11th St
Overheard by: filigreed
Chick #1, passing little girl on the street: Did you see that little girl?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: She gave me the stink eye! That little four-year-old bitch gave me the stink eye!
Chick #2 (turns around to look at the little girl who’s still staring at them): Holy shit, she’s still looking! That bitch is crazy. Run!
–Union Square
