Wednesday One-Liners Are Having an Episode.

Excited train operator: This is a Brooklyn-bound f train. Please step in and stand clear of the closing doors… Did any of y'all watch Cold Case Files last night? Whoooo!

–F Train

Female suit to another: I mean, we're better off having our kids watch American Idol than Baby Einstein.

–3rd & 84th

Overheard by: Daniela

Angry woman: They lied bout all that shit! I don't care bout her baby whether she's preggo or sick. I'mma whip that ugly bitch's ass… This ain't no Leave it to Beaver nothin' !

–Q Train

Overheard by: Taylor

Loud college student: A lot of things in my life I've been mirroring after the Dog Whisperer show. You know? It's just socializing.

–Library

Overheard by: Elyse

Teenage guy to friend: Man, every time I watch tv, I fucking hate life.

–81st St & Columbus Ave

Posted on July 14, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Gripes, Illness, Insults, Kids, Library, Lies, On the Subway, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Public Transportation, Questions, Street, Students, Suits, Teens, Threats, TV, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

That's All Anyone Knows, Buddy.

Museum guard #1: I need to learn more about this Lady Gaga person.
Museum guard #2: You've never heard of Lady Gaga?
Museum guard #1: All I know is that she's just… weird.

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: Maggie

Posted on July 10, 2010
About Celebrities, MoMA, Music, Security Guards, Weirdness

Translation: “Sleep with Me.”

Male lunch partner: It's like we don't even deserve spring. We get winter and summer. We don't deserve a spring. (laughs) Just don't get one.
Female lunch partner: We kinda had a spring.
Male lunch partner: We did.

–45th St & Lexington

Posted on July 10, 2010
Laughter, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Weather, Weirdness, Women

Tragically Hip Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster girl to friend: I told her it was the wrong kind of plaid. Not all flannels are equal.

–Bowery & Bleecker

Overheard by: but lumberjacks are supposed to be burly men!

Hipster to another: And I was like "Do you want some nail polish for that camel toe?"

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Shan

Hipster guy singing to self in country twang: Whennnn am I gonna get me sommmme Ugg boooooots?

–4th Ave & 13th St

Hipster guy in eyeliner and mascara: I was being facetious… I would not wear leggings.

–Jamba Juice, 13th St & University

Overheard by: helenathegreat

Hipster girl screaming on cell: I want you to want me to want to touch you!

–Columbus Circle

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Hipsters, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Shoes, Singing, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Shirtless Man + Cops = Arrest

Shirtless man, loudly: Hey man, don't say anything, the cops are right there.
(another shirtless man hurries away)
Cop, arriving: (snickers)

–Union Square

Posted on July 2, 2010
Cops, Guys, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

The Beatles Movie That Was Too Bizarre, Even for British Audiences.

Daughter to mom: We can save on a hotel room if Steve* and I sleep in the same bed.
Mom: You're not sleeping in the same bed as your brother! That's insect!
Steve: It's okay, we have spray.

–C Train

Overheard by: Sean

Posted on June 29, 2010
Brothers, Families, Family Ties, Incest, Insects, Moms, Money & Class, On the Subway, Weirdness, Words

Those That Aren't Screaming

Gray line employee #1: I hate the human race!
Gray line employee #2: They always speak well of you.

–47th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Roger

Posted on June 29, 2010
Coworkers, Gripes, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Weirdness

DiCaprio?

Husband: I can never remember the name of the other one. There's D'Artagnan, Aramis, and Porthos. I always want to call the last guy “Pathos,” but I know that's not it.
Wife: Isn't it Leonardo?
Husband: No, that's one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

–55th St & Madison Ave

Posted on June 26, 2010
Books & Writing, Couples, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, TV, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Sharpen Their Elbows

Tourist to boyfriend: Why are there so many humans here?

–Times Square

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this n train is very crowded. There is a w train one minute behind this one with air conditioning, legroom, and color tv.

–N Train

Overheard by: Thinking about switching

Guy: Y'all can't crowd up here! I don't want to name any names, but there's a baby back there that just got stepped on.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Samantha Chastain

Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!

–F Train