Teenage girl to boyfriend: I've seen so many people here. Where do they all live? I haven't seen any houses.
Boyfriend: I don't know.
–R Train, near Canal
Teenage girl to boyfriend: I've seen so many people here. Where do they all live? I haven't seen any houses.
Boyfriend: I don't know.
–R Train, near Canal
Film student: There's subtext to butt-sex?
–School of Visual Arts
Girl, to guy: Was your dick *in* my ass? Did we just do anal?
–Lower East Side
College girl: And my butthole is probably a lot tighter than hers.
–LIRR
Middle aged suit: I think I'd really enjoy anal because I always take such big craps.
–Union Square
Overheard by: alib
Woman to friend: Did you know the latest teenage fad is butt sex?
–177th St & Broadway
Teen #1: I can't believe you've never seen Rejected. It's all over the internet. You quote it all the time!
Teen #2: I do?
Teen #1: Yeah! “My spoon is too big!”
Random guy several seats away: “My anus is bleeding!”
Teen #1: Yaaaay!
Random guy: Now everyone on the train is staring at me like.Who is that weirdo? Except for you.
Teen #2, a minute later: What did he say about his anus?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Old Jewish lady #1: Maybe today we should go to Flashdancers.
Old Jewish lady #2: Oh yes, yes, I could look at some ta-tas.
–70th & 3rd
Overheard by: liz
Hipster teenage girl: Holy crap, there's a midget! I love seeing midgets in the city. I always text my friends and say "there's a midget following me!"
–Central Park
Woman on cell: You and me can't eat twice. Midgets can eat twice. (pause) And babies can eat twice too!
–5th Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Kody
Theater teacher: Even though he was under four feet and she was over six feet, it wasn't that weird. I mean, that scene with the deep kissing, when the whole crew is watching, that was kind of… hot. (pause) No, no, I mean, I wasn't sitting there being like, "wow, this midget really turns me on!" I don't go on giantess. Come in my spare time…
–Hunter College High School
Sexy guy: Don't pretend you've never wondered what it would look like to see midgets make 600 chocolate casino dice.
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl on cell: Listen, Alice, I just wanted to call and tell you that I am really, really sorry about the pop-tarts.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Conductor: This is where they tell me what the problem is, so you can stick with me or abandon ship, but either way I'm sorry for the mind-numbing delays.
–Delayed 6 Train
Overheard by: Frankie
Guy on cell: I'm trying to apolo… shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up. (pause) I'm trying to… stop talking! Just stop talking! (pause) Say "okay." I told you to stop talking. Say "okay." Shut the fuck up!
–Union Square
Overheard by: tracy
Conductor: We are delayed because of train traffic ahead of us. Thank you for your inconvenience and sorry for your cooperation.
–Downtown F Frain
Overheard by: Ben Black
Woman: So what if I sleep with dogs for money?
–Chrystie St & Delancey
Middle-aged woman, after being told her puppies can't enter store: That's why I live in LA, they're much more dog-friendly there. Now, can you please get me the Lady Gaga CD?
–Barnes & Noble
Young woman, seeing three-legged dog: Three-legged dogs are kinda trendy these days.
–Sunset Park
Overheard by: Matty
Woman to another, walking out of subway: I'm telling you, chihuahuas are fucking taking over the city.
–Bedford Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: J Wing
Man in '80s garb, getting off train and pumping arms in great exaltation: The dog is back!
–Steinway Street
Overheard by: Jo Ann Chism
Wide-eyed woman on cell: Is it the drugs that are doing this to me?
–St Mark's & Ave A
Guy going superfast on a bike with eyes closed and feet on handlebars: Oh, man, I'm trippin'! Oh, god, I'm shroomin'!
–Delancey St
Professor: Take that Ritalin-Scotch-heroin cocktail… With a pop-tart!
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
Flyer guy: Anyone want to help support my drug habit?
–Times Square
Girl with group of friends: You can be a responsible drug addict… I had two jobs and went to college.
–Jane & 4th St
Overheard by: M Tod
Barnard girl: So my grandparents gave me one of those Visa gift card things for $50 for Valentine's Day… What the fuck am I going to spend $50 on, if it's not drugs?
–The Diana Center, Barnard College
Stephen Colbert, after flubbing a line during filming: I'm high. (audience laughs) Don't blog that!
–Colbert Report Studios, 54th St
Overheard by: Allison
Black lady #1, looking at poster for The Princess and the Frog: The Princess and the Frog…
Black lady #2: She's black.
Black lady #1: Nawww. She ain't black.
Black lady #2: Yeah, she is.
Black lady #1: Naw! A Disney movie with a black person! That's not happening.
Black lady #2: No, really. I saw a preview for it. She's black.
Black lady #1: Wow… That's weird.
–Ziegfeld Theater
Overheard by: Willow
Disheveled gentleman: Hey, man, can you spare some change? I need a bottle of vodka, a bag of marijuana, and a prostitute. I'm desperate!
–East Village
Overheard by: Matty Mac
Toothless lady on street corner to friend: I ain't never been to jail, I ain't never fucked nobody for money!
–Brooklyn
Older Guido to young hipster: And then you got a fuckin' hooker on your hand, what are you going to to do?
–Mulberry
Overheard by: nina
Clean-cut queer: So she says "where are you going after this?" and I say "I think I'm just going to go back to the hotel and get some sleep" and she says "do you want company?" and I say "well, you're not really my type" and she says "I've got lots of friends… What's your type?" and I say "boys." And she's all, "oh, well, that's nice!" And then she leaves pretty quickly. And my friend says "who was that? Do you know her?" and I say, "no, she's just some very, very, very friendly girl. In a gold lamé cocktail dress. On a Tuesday night."
–6 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy on cell: I wish I was in Florida–the hookers down there owe me 8 bucks and a beer!
–Astoria
