Wednesday Too-Soon-Liners

American tourist on phone: So, I've just been to ground zero and it's like totally overrated; it's just a hole in the ground.

–Central park

Sensitive guy: She's probably the number one cause of post-traumatic stress syndrome since 9/11!

–Restaurant, 46th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: TheGreenCat

Man, looking out window: Looks like they are building something.

–WTC Path Station

Tourist: That building is really tall, I think it's the World Crade Center!

–Brooklyn Bridge

Cheerful tourist dad taking photo of tourist family: Smile and say 9/11!

–Battery Park

Overheard by: CJW

Posted on August 26, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Battery Park, Brooklyn, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Families, Ground Zero, Guys, Height, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Pictures, Psychology, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Time, Tourism, Tourists, Train Station, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Your Editors Only Hurt Children in Self-Defense

Small boy #1: Let's go over there.
Small boy #2: Why?
Small boy #1: I want to get away from him. (points at middle-aged businessman)
Small boy #2: Why?
Small boy #1: Well, he looks like he might hurt me.
Small boy #2: No he doesn't.
Small boy #1: Yes, he does. He's old.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on August 24, 2009
Age/Aging, Brooklyn, Kids, Parks, Should've Used a Condom, Stupidity, Violence, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

More Than George W. Bush Has Admitted

Homeboy #1: You lie.
Homeboy #2: I don't.
Homeboy #1: You so lie.
Homeboy #2: I don't lie.
Homeboy #1: You lie. You lie. You lie. You lie.
Homeboy #2: I do not lie.
Homeboy #2: You stretch the truth.
Homeboy #2: Well. Now you're talkin'.

–10th & 57th

Posted on August 23, 2009
Friends, Lies, Weirdness, Words

You Never Could Meet a Deadline, Britney.

Girl #1: So your birthday is tomorrow?
Girl #2: Yeah, it should have been today but I was too much of a fat-ass to fit through my mom's vagina.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2, yelling: It should have been today but I was too much of a fat-ass to fit through my mom's vagina.
Girl #1: Bummer.

–Spring & Varick

Posted on August 22, 2009
Ass, Birthdays, Diet/Weight, Girls, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Soho, Vagina, Weirdness

But Gaping Wounds Are in This Season!

Preppy drunk blond #1 in ladies room: Oh my god! How are you? It's been so long since I've seen you!
Preppy drunk blond #2: Oh my god, I'm great! When I noticed I was bleeding I decided to come in here and wash my face!

–Circle Line Cruise

Overheard by: nika

Posted on August 21, 2009
Blood & bleeding, Body Parts, Cruise Ship, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Preppies, Questions, Weirdness

'Cause I Still Got the Pus-sy

Girl #1: And then I told him no way. I was through with him staying overnight at other girls houses.
Girl #2: But as long as he comes back to your house at night it's okay?
Girl #1: Yup.

–5th St & Lexington Ave

Posted on August 20, 2009
Girls, Infidelity, Promiscuity, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Insists on Wearing Crocs

Friend pushing cart to little girl: Get your feet out of the way! C'mon!
Mom of little girl: No, it's okay. She don't love her feet.

–F Train

Overheard by: Jaxx

Posted on August 20, 2009
Body Parts, Friends, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Parents, Weirdness

Who Wears the Pants in Your Wednesday One-Liners?

Older man: If you drank a thousand gallons of beer, and then took off your pants…

–79th & West End

Girl to guy with beavers on pants: Excuse me, are those beavers on your pants?

–6 Train

20-something preppy girl on cell: Whenever I'm cheating on my boyfriend, I take off my pants and pretend to be an albino bunny.

–Central Park

Overheard by: that one girl

Guy on cell: If I don't get in her pants tonight, I'm gonna fuck you up!

–1st Ave

Aging drag queen to friend: It's much better than sick obsessions with blond males between the ages of 18 and 25 who always take their pants off to play GameCube.

–The Village

Overheard by: Amused NYU Tischie

Posted on August 19, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Central Park, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drag queens, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hair, Infidelity, Men, Nudity, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Preppies, Questions, Sex, Street, The Village, Threats, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Video Games, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

So Here's My Plan…

Professor: May I speak of your mother's uterus?
Foreign grad student: Uh…
Professor: You're sharing such a small space. Someone's bound to get more resources. It's crazy!

–Lecture Hall, NYU

Overheard by: uteran lining

Posted on August 18, 2009
Body Parts, Height, NYU, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, School and studying, Students, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness

That Would Be a Great Name for an All-Male Revue

Young white guy to sweating black FedEx delivery man in elevator: Wow, it's really hot outside, no?
Sweating black FedEx man: Man, it's a brotisserie.

–78th St & Madison Ave

Posted on August 14, 2009
Black People, Clerks, Heat, Questions, Upper East Side, Weirdness, White People, Words

Weirdness