10-year old boy: Hey Melissa, I'm wearing a cup.
7-year old girl: Really? Where? Can I feel?
10-year old boy: Over my who-who, yeah you can.
7-year old girl, grabbing cup: Oh, I like that… but why is it so hard?
–Kingsbay Football Field, Brooklyn
10-year old boy: Hey Melissa, I'm wearing a cup.
7-year old girl: Really? Where? Can I feel?
10-year old boy: Over my who-who, yeah you can.
7-year old girl, grabbing cup: Oh, I like that… but why is it so hard?
–Kingsbay Football Field, Brooklyn
Black dude to friend: Well, check this out my nigga! Cracking your knuckles does not lead to arthritis… Mythbusters, my nigga!
–Park Slope
Black pimp on cell: That nigger ain't even give you a little nigga baby. All that nigga ever do is just fuck you and leave your ass, bitch. You got a child yoself, take care of your real nigga baby, because that's the nigga who keeps with you. That nigga won't fuck any other sluts. (notices everybody's staring at him) What the fuck y'all niggas lookin at?
–Social Security Office, East Village
Would-be feminist: Pussy don't have no power no more, because if it did, niggas wouldn't be doin' what they do.
–Jefferson Ave & Throop Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jocasta Spell
Polish woman, walking up to group of ghetto fabs: Yo' wut up, my niggas? (pounds fist with ghetto fab guy)
–Delancy St
Overheard by: Kirkegaard
Crazy black man on phone: When you talk like that I'm gonna call you the N-word! (pause) Don't talk like that! (pause) I want to have sex with you.
–Murray Hill
Girl on cell: I'll adopt it, the state gives you money for retarded kids.
–48th & 6th
Guy to friend, disdainfully: And she's always like, "I work with Down syndrome kids," at… computer camp or some shit.
–4th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Shannon
Girl: I think he is sexually retarded.
–5th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Abdul Marcos
Glitzed up Jersey girl to friends: I look so good right now, it's retarded.
–Ladies Room, Penn Station
Older man on cell: My dog has one of those retard vests, he can get into any restaurant in New York.
–W 23rd St & 6th Ave
Drunk thug, reflecting on his baby-mama's new man: I love motherfuckin' guns, and that's the bottom line, but I don't wanna go to jail.
–Bar, Cortelyou Road
Boy to limping blonde struggling to keep up: Oh my god, if you were a horse I would shoot you.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: The Game
Father to two small children, pulling them away from the register: C'mon, guys. Let's go before mommy shoots herself.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th & Broadway
Loud black girl: It's Manhattan, I don't have to worry about getting shot.
–NYU
Guy on cell: Hey man, aren't you tired of being shot?
–Queens Center Mall
Hyper tourist to friend: Wow! A shoe repair shop? Can we go? Please? Come on, don't you have some shoes you want shined?
–74th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Raven
Enlightened tourist: Oh! So Broadway's not just one place? It's a series of buildings? Oh, I see!
–46th & Broadway
Tourist woman walking off Brooklyn Bridge: Wow, look at how nice this is! I can't believe we paid only $24 for it!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: D-Law
Tourist to another: There are so many yellow cars in New York City.
–42nd & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Lisa
Tourist: Not until high school did I know buses could make turns!
–E Train
Overheard by: Probably had to repeat a few grades
Tourist exiting subway: Did anyone lose a pass? Because I just found one.
–103rd & Broadway
Super gay dude to equally gay friend: You can tell she's mad when she starts using adjectives.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: liat
Angry black man to white man standing too close: Fool, whatcha think you're doin? You tryin' to get all up on me? You don't know what I could do. I could bust a cap in yo ass. I'm an angry black man!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Bex
Black man to Asian woman he's trying to hit on: Why won't you talk to me, baby? You still mad about the Korean war?
–145th & Broadway
Older woman on cell: Trixie, you have to stop kicking things when you get mad!
–40th & Broadway
Overheard by: Sean
Trampy Spanish girl to cranky Spanish guy: Why are you mad? It was just a blowjob, and he's your brother!
–West Village
Overheard by: Stifled A. Guffaw
Girl: She doesn't have sex.
Gay guy: Ugh. Why not? She looks like a dirty whore.
Girl: I don't know…
Gay guy: Like the kind of whore you'd spit on after cumming on her face.
–Bryant Park
American tourist on phone: So, I've just been to ground zero and it's like totally overrated; it's just a hole in the ground.
–Central park
Sensitive guy: She's probably the number one cause of post-traumatic stress syndrome since 9/11!
–Restaurant, 46th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Man, looking out window: Looks like they are building something.
–WTC Path Station
Tourist: That building is really tall, I think it's the World Crade Center!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Cheerful tourist dad taking photo of tourist family: Smile and say 9/11!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: CJW
Small boy #1: Let's go over there.
Small boy #2: Why?
Small boy #1: I want to get away from him. (points at middle-aged businessman)
Small boy #2: Why?
Small boy #1: Well, he looks like he might hurt me.
Small boy #2: No he doesn't.
Small boy #1: Yes, he does. He's old.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Sunny
Homeboy #1: You lie.
Homeboy #2: I don't.
Homeboy #1: You so lie.
Homeboy #2: I don't lie.
Homeboy #1: You lie. You lie. You lie. You lie.
Homeboy #2: I do not lie.
Homeboy #2: You stretch the truth.
Homeboy #2: Well. Now you're talkin'.
–10th & 57th
