Flight attendant to woman who has just placed her bird on her arm before take off: Ma'am, I'm going to need you to secure that bird before we begin taxiing.
Bird lady: But it is secure. Aren't you, peaches? You like it out here, don't you?
Flight attendant: Please just secure the bird, ma'am.
–Runway, JFK
Overheard by: escaping to vegas
Musician: See, that’s why I don’t drink. So I can fuck any time.
–26th between 6th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mike
Guy: Where can I go to make it look like I went home last night?
–56th & 9th
Overheard by: David
Ghetto chick: …and it’s not like I’m calling him a transsexual, but he gave oral like a starving lesbian.
–58th & 5th
Overheard by: Melissa
Girl #1: I'm still looking for a phone to call from.
Girl #2: Why do you want to call from a 212 area code so bad?
Girl #1: I just don't want to call from an 847 number. I want to keep it professional.
–NYU
Traffic police officer #1: She want balls with no cheese. I want cheese on my balls.
Traffic police officer #2: Oh, she nasty.
–Quizno's, Broadway & Franklin
Overheard by: office peon
Guy on cell: I guess you’d rather spend time with your cat than me. That’s cool.
–Brooklyn Heights
Thug to girl calling for cat: You lost your cat, baby? Shit, this is Brooklyn, there’s so many street cats out here they probably ate your cat.
–Franklin & Classon, Prospect Heights Brooklyn
Teen, talking about guitars: You can never have too many. They’re like cats.
–17th & 8th
Girl on cell: Yeah, I want one too, but we should start with a cat and see how that is. You know, play it by ear.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Is that how it works?
Girl: If I looked like a cat’s poop hole I’d still want to be loved… and eaten.
–JFK
Chick on cell: As a pie-lover, I have a question.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Poogins
Father to toddler: No, you can't have a doughnut. You just had a doughnut yesterday. You can have another when you're…25!
–Doughnut Plant, Grand & Norfolk
Large older woman: I like cherry, lemon, peach, apple, and pumpkin. Other than that, I'm not a big pie person.
–Central Park Bench
Overheard by: Struedel Snatcher
Big black guy: And she kept trying to get me to take a pie, but I kept telling her, "bitch, I ain't got no room for no pie!"
–Penn Station
Young lady to friend, gravely: I understand, but things have changed. That was before the chocolate bonanza.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: T. Ryan
Park Slope dad: Do you know how to play dodgeball?
Eight-year-old son: No…
Park Slope dad: I throw the ball at you, and you try not to get hit.
Eight-year-old son: That doesn't sound like fun.
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Drunk white girl, walking past Staples: Ohmigod! I remember last summer when a guy spit on me at staples!
Drunk white boy: What? A Staples?
Drunk white girl: Yes, it was that Staples!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kiara
Guy: I guess I’d rather be bulimic than anorexic.
Girl: Oh, why?
Guy: Well, I guess it’s the more satisfying eating disorder, cause you can taste yourself getting skinnier every time you vomit!
–40th & Park
Overheard by: Mal
Barnard-looking girl #1: You can shower, but then, if you take a shit, you feel totally dirty again. But those, they're like wiping with a washcloth.
Barnard-looking girl #2: I've almost crapped myself a few times on the subway and had to get off at the next stop.
–Grand & Havermeyer, Brooklyn
