White guy on cell: Look, he was tried by a jury of his peers, they were all white, and they let him off.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: riptorn
White guy on cell: Look, he was tried by a jury of his peers, they were all white, and they let him off.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: riptorn
White Guy: White people can’t dance.
White Girl: I’m white and I can dance.
White Guy: Yeah, but you have tits. Anyone with tits looks good when they dance.
–Happy Ending, Chinatown
Enthusiastic 20-something: Oh, is that ciabatta? Yummy! Whenever I see ciabatta, my pussy starts to swell!
–Broadway & 13th
Random passerby: He wants a vagina. In and around his mouth.
–The Village
Cute NYU blonde: He won't like, touch my vagina with his hands. That means he's gay, right?
–Mercury Lounge, LES
Drunk Latina to drunk white girl whose boyfriend stepped out to get a paper bag: Girl, just tell him to take you home. Tell him you want to sleep tonight. Tell him your pussy is closed!
–McDonald's, 14th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: ehka
Girl in gym: Everything on my body is flaccid, except my vagina.
–Fordham Gym
Older white woman: Can you tell me where you have the Ku Klux Klan Christmas cards?
Young Hispanic clerk: Excuse me?
Older white woman: A friend of mine told me he saw KKK Christmas cards somewhere, and I’m trying to find them. I know it doesn’t sound too nice, but I think he’s just going to use them to make a black joke or something.
–Hallmark
Overheard by: Black woman trying to maintain her cool
Large middle aged black man: Well hello there little lady, Barack Obama!
Small young white girl: Yeah!
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Meg
White girl #1: Shit, did you just see those mounted horses?
White girl #2: No fuckin’ way… I can’t believe they have them here.
White girl #1: Yeah… In Central Park is one thing, but not in ghetto Brooklyn.
White girl #2: Yeah, the last thing I expected to see here is horses on cops… [Pause] Did I just say ‘horses on cops’? I meant cops on horses.
White girl #1: Yeah, I don’t think there’s ever a need to see horses on cops. Well, except maybe in Jeremy’s bedroom.
–Crown Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: NancyCz
Black woman: You cut in front of him because he’s black!
White woman: I did not, I just didn’t see him!
Black woman: You didn’t see him because he’s too black?
–Bloomingdale’s
Black 30-something man: And she said, "Nigga, you wanna fuck mah titties wit a gun?"
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda R.
10-year-old boy, very loudly, to 10-year-old girl: Oh, yeah, well…how many guns have you ever held?
–5 Train
Middle aged white man in shorts: Anyone awake at 2 am should be shot!
–LIRR
Overheard by: L.C.
Street performer, trying to move crowd: Okay, let's try this! White people, we are not dangerous! (lifts shirt, pats down sides) We are unarmed! Step closer!
–W 45th & 5th
Man on phone: Right. Right. Wait, what? (in shock) He don't got a gun? Well, he has to have a gun! What kinda game do you think this is?
–J Train
Army dude to friends: People shoot at me every once in awhile. Do I get tipped? No, fuck tips!
–Havanna's Bar
Indian mom: Eat your chicken.
Drunk Irishman: Ach, what nice bebbies. I have a child too.
Indian mom: That’s nice.
Drunk Irishman: Just the one, though. The doctor told me wife, that’s it. No more chidren for you.
Indian mom: I see.
Little girl: Grandma, who is that man?
Indian mom: I’m your mother, not your grandmother.
Drunk Irishman: Her boss made her lift a 500 pound piano all by her self. A tiny woman! A 500 pound piano!
Indian mom: I see.
Drunk Irishman: So no more children. And me one of nine, you know. Including the one deadborn one.
–Wendy’s, Astoria
Overheard by: Loretta P.
Disaffected white woman #1: Stella*'s kid died last week.
Disaffected white woman #2: Oh. Well, it sucks when someone's kid dies before they expect it to… oh, Topshop's having a sale!
–Broome & Broadway
Overheard by: office peon will soon be a Vermonter
