Lifestyles of the Wednesday One-Liners and Famous

Rich girl to friend: I couldn’t decide between the Marc Jacobs sweater and the Dior jacket. It was like Sophie’s Choice.

–Outside NYU dorm

Rich lady on phone: Uh-huh, uh-huh, but what if we just put the tennis court where the house was? … Okay, okay, what if we demolish the existing tennis court and make that area the guest house again? Or create a glassed-in structure over the court instead?

–Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: mkp-hearts-nyc

Man lunching with friend: I mean, I never lost a million dollars before.

–55th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: ilegal browser

Dad to child in stroller, passing the park: What? You wanted to go in there? I thought you said you wanted to go to Marc Jacobs.

–Hudston St

Overheard by: Colleen

20-ish girl: Fuck my dad. How selfish can you be? If I want to live on West 11th, then fucking buy the flat on West 11th. Ugh. Sorry. Can I get another dirty martini?

–The Village

WASP lady: She’s not even nouveau riche — she is just nouveau!

–A Voce, 26th & Madison

Posted on May 12, 2015
Dads, Default, Friends, Girls, Insults, Madison Square Garden, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, NYC Geography, NYU, Philosophy, Rich people, Shopping, Store, The Village, West Village, White People, Wishes & desires, Women

How We Got Clubbed on Vacation

White tourist chick #1: Oooh, look — a black cop being friends with a white cop!
White tourist chick #2: Take a picture!

–Macy’s Parade balloon inflation, 81st & Central Park West

Posted on May 7, 2015
Race, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

Whereas I Love Tacos

White hip girl #1: You know it’s funny I like to date and have sex with black and Italian men, but I can’t eat dark meat.
White hip girl #2: Wow, really? That is weird.

–CVS, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Heather C

Posted on May 6, 2015
Brooklyn, Girls, Hipsters, Race, Sex, White People

We’re Too Weird to Be Racist

White man to another: Before he shows up, you should probably know this guy’s a top 100 digger.
Black man: What’d you call me?!
White man: Uh, I just said… We’re nerds. It means we’re nerds.

–Starbucks, Astor Pl

Posted on April 29, 2015
Black People, Default, Gripes, Men, Race, Starbucks, White People

Are You Bragging About That?

White girlfriend to Asian boyfriend intentionally blocking the door: What are you, 12 years old?
Asian boyfriend: Only from the waist down.

–76th & Columbus

Posted on April 28, 2015
Age/Aging, Asians, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People

Medieval General: And After the Archers, Send in the Yellow Horde!

Asian guy: Hey, you ever play DDR?
White guy: I’m white. No, never played it.
Asian guy: Oh, I played at a friend’s yesterday. His sister was good.
White guy: Are you good?
Asian guy: I’m OK.
White guy: Redeem yourself. You’re not Asian anymore.
Asian guy: Dude, my friends are black. Black people can dance, idiot.
White guy: Yeah, and Asian people are good at DDR.
Asian guy: No, we’re just good at following arrows.

–Times Square

Overheard by: jason

Posted on April 27, 2015
Asians, Dancing, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Pop Culture, Race, Times Square, White People

What's a Nice Wednesday One-Liner Like You Doing in a Place Like This?

Guy to girl with afro crossing the street: Hey gorgeous! Gorgeous! Let me massage your kinky tips!

–8th Ave & W 4th

Comedy club promoter to hot girl: Hi, do you like comedy? (girl keeps walking) Okay, do you like skinny white guys then?

–42nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Galina

Young boy reading aloud in halting monotone: I like that outfit. It would look great crumpled up on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?

–Borders, Kips Bay

Overheard by: Emily

Fat white guy in Mets jersey to hot blonde: Hello, my name is Tom and I'm horny. (blonde keeps walking)

–Lexington & 50th

Black man to female passerby: S'cuse me miss… Not to seem rude, but to be honest…for a white girl, you got a nice butt.

–5th Ave

Conductor on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, this last weekend I went to a club…never again. I walked in, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. I saw a beautiful lady across the bar, went up to her and said, "Where have you been all my life?" She said back to me "I think for the first half of your life, I wasn't born." This is 59th, Columbus circle, have a good day, ladies and gentlemen.

–A Train

Posted on April 26, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Beauty, Black People, Boys, Compliments, Creepsters, Fat People, Flyer people, Guys, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Public Transportation, Questions, Sexuality, Store, Strangers, Subway conductors, Weirdness, West Village, White People

Lap Dancing's Gotta Be More Fun Than Lap Running

White girl: Ohmigod, I totally want to take stripping lessons! But, I'm not, like, a slut or anything.
Black girl: Wait, wait. You're not a slut but you want to be a stripper?
White girl: What? I bet it's really good exercise!

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on April 23, 2015
Black People, Girls, Queens, School, Sports, Strippers, White People, Wishes & desires

Don’t Worry, the Internet Caught It for You

Girl: Forget it, I’m taking these off.
Guy: Why, baby? Let me see ’em.
Girl: No, they make my butt look like a white person’s ass.
Guy: What’s that?
Girl: They make my ass look flat like a white person’s!
Guy: Baby, I can’t hear you.

–Wet Seal, Manhattan Mall

Overheard by: E-Bar

Posted on April 21, 2015
Fashion, Ghetto Chicks, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Retail Therapy, White People

It's How My Family Referred to My First Wedding

Skinny black man: Can you tell me what a fiasco is?
White guy at table with him: Yeah, it's like a party, a big party.

–Outside Nathan's, Coney Island

Overheard by: Justi

Posted on April 21, 2015
Black People, Celebrations/Parties, Coney Island, Questions, Skinny People, Stupidity, White People, Words

White People

How We Got Clubbed on Vacation