Well-heeled mother: Now, what do we call little baby kangaroos?
Four-year-old boy: Marsupials!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: hells kitchen dweller
Well-heeled mother: Now, what do we call little baby kangaroos?
Four-year-old boy: Marsupials!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: hells kitchen dweller
Indian guy: No homo!
Black guy: Man, “no homo” is wrong. That's like a white person saying, “yo, word up?” and a black guy saying, “no negro!” (pause) Shit's fucked up.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: I wish someone would tie my pubic bone back together.
Girl #2: don't you mean your “pelvic” bone?
Girl #1: No dude, it's definitely my pubic bone that's all shifted.
–Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th
English teacher, telling student how to read play: Brian, you're like Martin Luther King meets 50 Cent!
–English Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Woman answering cell on bus: You saw Beyoncé? (everyone stares) Sorry. Did you say, "Hi, fiancée," or "I saw Beyoncé"?"
–126 Bus
Loud fat hipster chick: So she said I'm like Britney Spears with Lindsay Lohan's body, because my weight fluctuates like Lohan's. And I'm okay with that, because you know what? Lohan is a great celebrity. I mean, look, Kate Winslet is lovely and all, but what is she doing tonight? Sitting on a couch somewhere, drinking moderately probably. What is Lohan doing? Probably something really gay and coked up. I'd rather be gay and coked up than drinking moderately on a couch, any day of the week.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Jas
Metal kid: I smell like Robert Downey, Jr.
–Don Pedro's, Boerum & Manhattan, Brooklyn
Overheard by: LP
Hobo: I always thought Madonna was a trashy white cunt.
–Restaurant Row
Overheard by: Al-master
Guy to girl: You know, I'm sure you're a wonderful lover, and you don't need to be comparing yourself to Lance Armstrong. Like, that's just a fool's game.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Helena
Teenage girl #1: We are getting older and going through puberty, we have a lot of new stuff to learn.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, like you just taught me about keefing, or what was it queefing? Yeah, queefing.
–Central Park
Five year old to dad: Look, dad, we're going over the bridge!
Dad to five-year-old son, in admonishing tone: Remember? It's not a bridge; it's a viaduct.
–F Train
Overheard by: 27 year old who thought it was a bridge, too
Girl to mother: Twat!
Mother: You mean “twit”.
Girl: No, I mean “twat”.
Mother: Honey, a twat is a woman's vagina.
Girl: Get out.
–28th & 7th
Woman on cell: I'd love to watch football with you. I'll even hold the balls.
–92nd & Lexington
Boyfriend to guy sitting between him and his girlfriend: Hey man, can you slide over? I need some ball space over here.
–Uptown 4 Train
20-something chick: I aim for as many balls as possible.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meister
Woman to male Target employee: Do you have balls? (brief awkward pause) Like playing ones…
–Target, Queens
Mother to kids: Okay, raise your hand if you don't have balls! (group of boys eagerly raise their hands)
–LIRR
Overheard by: Chadwick
Teen on cell: Man, it's really hard to be bi-curious around gay guys you don't like.
–L Train
Older gay man: Oh, it must be wonderful to be bisexual! I mean, bilingual.
–69th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ana
Girl to friend: My boyfriend is bi. I told him I didn't want him making out with other girls. Other boys are fine, because they don't kiss on the mouth as much.
–Europa Cafe, 53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam
Large black man on cell: Yeah, you know, baby, this is the city. Eeeeverybody's bisexual!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Modern Guilt
Man: You know…fuck that shit.
Woman: Chuck! I've never heard you use that word before.
Man: Oh, yeah? Fuck fuckin' fuckity fuck fuck!
Woman: Wow.
Man: Fuckin' motherfucker two-ball bitch! Let's get the fuck outta here.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Joanna Lin
