Girl: What if I started saying “ahoy!” instead of “hello”?
Group of girls: Ahoy!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Pirate at Heart
Girl: What if I started saying “ahoy!” instead of “hello”?
Group of girls: Ahoy!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Pirate at Heart
Texting teenager: Is there two “L”s in “Fordham”?
Teenager's friend: Uhh…just one, I think.
–N Train
Ghetto girl #1: You are so ignorant!
Ghetto girl #2: Don't call me that! You know I hate that word!
Ghetto girl #1: What do you want me to call you? Lactose intolerant?
–A Train
Nerdy guy #1: That dude is a total fag, anyway!
Nerdy girl: Uh, you can't call people fags…
Nerdy guy #2: Yeah! From now on, let's use “fog”.
Nerdy girl: That guy is such a fog?
Nerdy guy #1: Yeah… He will be mist.
(20 seconds later)
Nerdy girl: Wait! Missed? Mist? My god…
–NYU
Well-heeled mother: Now, what do we call little baby kangaroos?
Four-year-old boy: Marsupials!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: hells kitchen dweller
Indian guy: No homo!
Black guy: Man, “no homo” is wrong. That's like a white person saying, “yo, word up?” and a black guy saying, “no negro!” (pause) Shit's fucked up.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: I wish someone would tie my pubic bone back together.
Girl #2: don't you mean your “pelvic” bone?
Girl #1: No dude, it's definitely my pubic bone that's all shifted.
–Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th
English teacher, telling student how to read play: Brian, you're like Martin Luther King meets 50 Cent!
–English Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Woman answering cell on bus: You saw Beyoncé? (everyone stares) Sorry. Did you say, "Hi, fiancée," or "I saw Beyoncé"?"
–126 Bus
Loud fat hipster chick: So she said I'm like Britney Spears with Lindsay Lohan's body, because my weight fluctuates like Lohan's. And I'm okay with that, because you know what? Lohan is a great celebrity. I mean, look, Kate Winslet is lovely and all, but what is she doing tonight? Sitting on a couch somewhere, drinking moderately probably. What is Lohan doing? Probably something really gay and coked up. I'd rather be gay and coked up than drinking moderately on a couch, any day of the week.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Jas
Metal kid: I smell like Robert Downey, Jr.
–Don Pedro's, Boerum & Manhattan, Brooklyn
Overheard by: LP
Hobo: I always thought Madonna was a trashy white cunt.
–Restaurant Row
Overheard by: Al-master
Guy to girl: You know, I'm sure you're a wonderful lover, and you don't need to be comparing yourself to Lance Armstrong. Like, that's just a fool's game.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Helena
Teenage girl #1: We are getting older and going through puberty, we have a lot of new stuff to learn.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, like you just taught me about keefing, or what was it queefing? Yeah, queefing.
–Central Park
Five year old to dad: Look, dad, we're going over the bridge!
Dad to five-year-old son, in admonishing tone: Remember? It's not a bridge; it's a viaduct.
–F Train
Overheard by: 27 year old who thought it was a bridge, too
