White guy: Honestly, this sounds crazy, but I've never been able to find actual porn on the internet.
Asian girl, indignant: Dude. You just google “porn.”
–Bleecker St
White guy: Honestly, this sounds crazy, but I've never been able to find actual porn on the internet.
Asian girl, indignant: Dude. You just google “porn.”
–Bleecker St
Lady: When you look in the mirror you should feel excited, not tolerant!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Stinerz
High school girl #1: Yeah, she really needs to take better care of herself!
High school girl #2: Well, not anymore. She's dead.
High school girl #1: Well, she should have.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Christiana Little
Columbia grad student: …developing a really spectacular
sense of intellectual arrogance.
–Columbia University
Professor, receiving text message in class: Ooh. That’s interesting. Invitation to go dancing, not from my girlfriend. Thank God I’ve got permission… We’re never going to get to anything today, are we? I’m so bad at this…
–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Chinese professor: You see Chinese like tofu, you never use it.
–John Jay College
Overheard by: soccerking3t
Teen guy: So I ended up in a dress. I don’t think English class will ever be the same.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Natasha
Sadistic professor: Unfortunately we don’t flog people anymore. You usually pass out after you finish screaming.
–Fordham, the Bronx
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Drunken pre-med to drunken boy teetering on a concrete railing: Reed, if you fall, I’m not a doctor yet!
–West Village, 8th & 14th
Overheard by: annie
NYU girl to professor: So, if you’re sleeping with Nietzsche, you shouldn’t ask the question, "What are you thinking?"
–NYU classroom, Mercer & Houston
Consoling friend: Just think about what you want out of it.
Crying girl: I really don’t know what I should do!
Eavesdropping hobo: Damn, bitch — do what the fuck you want!
–Washington Square Park
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. There is a problem with a signal and there are trains in front of us. The good news is, there's a bar car!
–Metro North
Overheard by: Anna
Obese lady buying pork chops to obese friend: I be cutting down on on soda.
–Troy Ave & Park Place
Exasperated woman: And he was drinking Jack Daniels before he even got to my place…
–3rd & 6th
Overheard by: j
Female suit on cell: Well, what do you expect? It was green Gatorade and grain alcohol!
–Broadway & 54th St
Overheard by: Loren
Bag lady to another: Listen, Alice, if you don't want to lose your leg, you gotta drink water, they'll take your legs otherwise.
–42nd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Robin
Frantic woman on cell: Oh my god! There is no soy milk anywhere in this city! (sprints out of Starbucks)
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: ellie
Tough guy outside bar with friends: So I like apple juice. What the fuck?
–East Village
Graduate student #1: Should I remove the dead girl from my Facebook friends? It's kind of sad when she comes up.
Graduate student #2: No.
Graduate student #1: Why not?
Graduate student #2: Wouldn't it be even sadder if she was dead and had no Facebook friends?
–114th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Daniel
Queer: Excuse me, ma’am?
Chick: Yes?
Queer: Um, girl, it’s time for some new Uggs. I felt it was my gift to society to tell you.
Chick: Dude, put your fag card down and start worrying about something else.
–Spring & Mercer
Ghetto woman: Hey. Hey, girl. Wake up [pokes her].
Girl, waking up: What?
Ghetto woman: Your bra is showing, girl.
Girl: It’s supposed to be.
Ghetto woman: Not on the Seven Train, it’s not.
–Manhattan-bound 7 train
Overheard by: Maybe on the 6?
Chick: So I e-mailed my building manager to complain about my jerk roommate, and she wrote back that the solution to all my problems is to chant. And she sent me the chant! Listen to this: “Nam yo ho ren ge cho.” And if I do this every day, I'll be happier, wiser, and in rhythm.
Dude: There are two possibilities here. Either she's enough of a flake to believe this, or she thinks you're enough of a flake to believe it.
Chick: None of this is good!
–151st & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
