B&T girl: These bra inserts I’m wearing are hard as rocks!
–Tao Asian Bistro, Midtown
Woman: Well, I trusted you before you put your dick in her.
–Tabla Bread Bar, Flatiron District
B&T girl: These bra inserts I’m wearing are hard as rocks!
–Tao Asian Bistro, Midtown
Woman: Well, I trusted you before you put your dick in her.
–Tabla Bread Bar, Flatiron District
A ghetto guy checks out a girl’s ass and says: Damn, yo. I had one like that back in ’88. When I was workin’ in the mailroom.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Zander
Girl: There is no sperm in the period! Jeez, you’re a moron.
–Lincoln Center
Girl: So then I asked everyone, “Who’s ever had anal?” and then he turned around…
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Girl: Cattle? Who said anything about cattle? Now chickens…they’re fun to molest sometimes.
–Fort Greene
Truck driver: Hey you!…Honey…yeah, you…you’re number one…you’re the best of the day, you win!
–Long Island City
Woman: I don’t usually spend $40 on chapstick, but I really wanted it.
–1st & 52nd
20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
Conductor: This is the last train. You have no other options, this is it. Get on this train.
–Metro North Rail
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your feet off the seats on this train. They belong on the floor; that's why it's there. If you can't put your feet on the floor because your luggage is there, don't worry: we took care of that too. Look up. That thing above your head is a luggage rack.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Announcement on NJ transit train: If you have young children, please take them…by the hand when leaving the train.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: JerseyJR
Train conductor: This is 18th Street, if this is your stop…get up! Give up that seat!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Chris K… at 11pm
Amtrak conductor: We are experiencing engine problems and need to change trains. But I want you to know that we have lost no altitude.
–Amtrak Train
Conductor, philosophical about delayed train: We don't usually have this type of delay at this time of day. But, well, here we are… (train starts to move) Aha! Here it is!
–A Train
Overheard by: Katie J
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, do you know where you are? (passengers are silent) I do! Hudson, next stop.
–Amtrak Train, Leaving Penn Station
Professor guy: So I got one of those magnets for headaches, right? It works pretty good, except when I attach it to my steering wheel it changes the radio station every time I turn a corner.
–Fordham University elevator, Lincoln Center
Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…
–Rockefeller Center
Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!
–14th St & 10th ave
Overheard by: adam
Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.
–L Train
Overheard by: TR
Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?
–21st St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Steve
16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!
–F Train
Overheard by: wish i was being attacked
Guy: He’s really cool as Chickenhawks go.
–E 15th St, near Stuyvesant Park
Preppy girl: Oh my god, this salad is bangin’, but it needs chicken. I need some motherfuckin’ chicken on my motherfuckin’ salad!
–McDonald’s, Broadway
Mother to daughter: Stand over here. Birds be shittin’.
–Near Penn Station
Overheard by: Checking for pigeons
Guy, looking at man walking duck on leash: That’s just like the duck I used to have!
–Central Park
Man, scared by parrot’s loud screech : What the fuck was that? A duck?
–86th St & 2nd Ave
Man: If I was homeless, I would totally get a big trash bag and stuff it with pigeon feathers. It would be like a big down comforter.
–9th St & 1st Ave
Hipster girl: I know. Pigeon shit and Clorox! If I’m not dead next week it will be a miracle!
–St. Marks & 1st Ave
Overheard by: off white
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’m shopping with my mom, and she’s shopping for dildos!
–8th & University
