Cute 18-year-old girl, looking in a mirror: I can't believe I still have this pimple on my chin.
Older sister: Let me see. Geez, I think it's getting bigger.
Metrosexual brother: That's because she shaves her beard with the razor I use for my ass.
–Upper West Side
Female tv & radio producer: I don't understand how women can have kids today when there are Blackberries.
–Bloomberg
Overheard by: Yalie09
Man to woman at bar: That's the beauty of freezers!
–Bar, 13th St
Woman, to nobody in particular: Excuse me, but does anyone know how to use a Blackberry? I just got it today.
–Long Island Railroad
Girl on cell: It's not my fault, it's the technology.
–W Houston & Hudson St
14-year-old boy to mother: She spends hers on books, markers; on beads for her hair; I spent mine on this PDA to organize my life!
–F Train
Overheard by: ap.scigaj
45-year-old woman: So I ended up shaving it, and it looks so pretty! It's like I'm ten years old again!
–Houlihans Restaurant
Overheard by: remembers when she was ten years old
Girl on cell: Wait. The dad shaves the son's ass?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Guy in shower to guy in the next: Man, I am never shaving my pubes again.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt
Guy with a bunch of tattoos: The sex was great, but she was psychotic. Every time I shaved she would accuse me of having had oral sex with another woman.
–86th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Alan
British woman on cell: Are you shaving? Your face or your balls?
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Just around
Girl #1: Aw, you look like a cute bum.
Girl #2: Thanks!
–Leon M. Goldstein High School
Overheard by: Robert
Thug: What kinda shoes are those?
Chick in black feather skirt with 5-inch red and white heels: Miu Mius.
Thug: They're pretty.
–Bryant Park Tents
Overheard by: stephie
Black guy (spotting a friend): Hey man, what's up? You know you one ugly motherfucka? (laughs)
Black guy #2: Dude, youse the ugly nigga. You've been one ugly motherfucka for ten years.
Black guy #1: You've been an ugly motherfucka since you was born.
(time passes, they talk in their separate groups of friends. Black guy #1 gets off train)
Black guy #2's friend: Yo, your ugly nigga just left.
Black guy #2: He is one ugly mothafucka isn't he? (laughs).
–1 Train
Blond girl in leggings: Oh my god, and then I had to give my practitioner a list of all the things wrong with my body, which was like, everything!
Brunette girl in leggings: Yeah, totally, everything!
Blond girl in leggings: And I can't believe that I was dry heaving! I mean, I've been anxious before but I've never dry heaved!
Brunette girl in leggings: Yeah, but sometimes some anxiety is good! It motivates you!
Blond girl in leggings: Yeah, but I had to do fifty sun salutations before I felt okay again!
–Columbia University Campus
Overheard by: amalthya
Girl: So, our assignment was to bring in something “beautiful” for art class.
Friend: Uh huh.
Girl: And I brought in a picture of the sunset. But this other girl brought in trash and the teacher loved it! And I was like, thinking trash is beautiful was a new idea like ten years ago, you know?
Friend: Actually, not really.
Girl: Oh, well, like ten years ago someone tried to start this thing where trash was pretty, but like, no one is still doing that!
–1 Train
Woman on cell: I didn't take a bath with your dog!
–Long Island Railway
Overheard by: Jeff
Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: bih.
Very loud crackhead to nobody in particular: Today is great day…I got my pussy washed and I got new crutches.
–14th St
Overheard by: Cuttie
Middle aged man to another: I miss seeing my wife do squats while cleaning the tub.
–Central Park Loop
Overheard by: Nick Kinling
Woman with awful red lipstick: I am too lazy to shower. Ooh! Did I tell you I discovered dry shampoo?
–Broadway & 112th
Overheard by: do us a favor and bathe
Teenage girl to another: I don't know what the fuck he's talking about…I wash my titties everyday with Lever2000.
–D Train
Overheard by: Derrick Walker
Girl #1: What do you think?
Girl #2: Oh! He's kind of cute…except he looks kind of like a serial killer.
–Le Royale, West Village
Overheard by: Pierre Pierre
Headline by: Elise
Runners-Up:
· “Bloodstains Will Do That” – benji
· “Exactly What the Dexter Ads Were Aiming For” – Peter
· “Gossip Between Jurors at the Ted Bundy Trial” – ted bundy
· “OMG! If He Asks Me Out, I’ll Just Die!” – juls
· “The Hockey Mask Is a Nice Touch, Though.” – Sandy Paws
· “To Be Fair, She Said That About Almost Every Guy Tammy Set Her Up With Who Happened to Have a Swatstika Tattoo on His Forehead” – Rebecca Loeser
· “What With the Clown Make-up and All” – BabakganoosH
· “Why Girls Like Cats” – lucyconnuk
· “You Know, Kind Of a Lady Killer Type, Ya Know?” – c
