Young woman #1: So, my niece just gave him a blowjob… I’m so thankful.
Young woman #2: I know, right?
–A train, W 4th St
Overheard by: Paco
Young woman #1: So, my niece just gave him a blowjob… I’m so thankful.
Young woman #2: I know, right?
–A train, W 4th St
Overheard by: Paco
Yelling guy: Why did you swallow?! Laura, why did you swallow?! Why did you swallow?! Laura, why did you swallow?!
–12th & Ave A
Overheard by: Johnny Twisto
Guy on cell: Are you going to give me some fellatio? Chicka-chicka-bow-bow. Some felaysh, hm?
–66th & 1st
Overheard by: misplacedpom
Woman on cell: She can’t suck dick to save her life!
–51st & 5th
High maintenance lady to male friend: So he said to me, ‘Let me get a blow job,’ and so I said to him, ‘Not until I get a boob job!’
–39th & 6th
Chick: So, he comes back to my place and I gave him a blow job. Then in the morning he was gone, but he left $22.50 on the table. Is that weird?
–Brooklyn
JAP #1: I hate boys who won’t kiss you after you go down on them.
JAP #2: Yeah, I know. But I don’t kiss boys after they go down on me.
JAP #1: That’s awful! If he can handle it, you should too.
JAP #2: But it’s so bitter! I’m just saying: if they sold a jam the flavor of my vagina, I would not buy it.
–27th & 5th
Hipster guy: He wants to write a book about how hipsters are all about being nihilistic and getting lung cancer from oral sex.
–Hop Scotch, Ave A
Hipster guy to girl: It’s like, you can’t take my identity. I’m a film director, that’s who I am. It’s like if I was a carpenter, I would make wood. I mean, I would make buildings… You can’t just choose to be a carpenter.
–Pepe Rosso’s, Sullivan St
Asian hipster chick: You know, when you ask someone what they’re doing and they say clearing their head? I don’t think you can really do that because when you say you’re clearing your head you are really thinking about clearing your head so it isn’t clear after all.
–A Train
Overheard by: kate
Über-hipster chick to another: Bitch! Brunch tomorrow or I’ll fucking smack that headband right off you!
–8th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Hipster girl: What floor was fluffy on?! What floor was fluffy on?!?!??!
–Hookah Bar, East Village
Overheard by: Marisa
Hipster: It was a mess. I mean, you don’t want anarchists at the socialist barbecue. Haven’t you ever read Kropotkin?
–125th St
Overheard by: Ali
Bro #1: I'm gonna get him… I wish I was gay so he could suck my dick!
Bro #2: Man, don't say that.
Bro #1: I said it. I wish I was gay!
–Franklin Ave.
Teenage girl: Do you want to come?
Teenage boy: I want to come in your mouth.
–Broadway & 14th St
Overheard by: casey
Headline by: Postteen
Runners-Up:
· “A Young Christina Aguilera Gets Inspired” – PeterR
· “I’m Saving That Honour For Edward Cullen” – wirrrn
· “Just Let Me Take My Retainer Out This Time” – tatts
· “Oh, You Just Got Uninvited” – Stephanie Goe
· “Today’s ESL Class: Resolving Ambiguity With Prepositional Phrases” – Rionn Fears Malechem
Chinese guy: Why not?
Chinese girl: Cause I don’t like the taste.
Chinese guy: But it’s the only way I can get off.
Chinese girl: Fine but eat something that makes it liquidy, otherwise it’s too hard.
–Grand & Chrystie
Security guard #1: Yo, I be the first nigga to have a PS3 up in the projects, yo.
Security guard #2: Last night my girl was blowing me while I was playing PSP. She be like, “slurp, slurp.” I was like, “yeah, get that. Get that.”
–E 34th St
Overheard by: Chris the engineer
Woman suit #1: Yeah, we went to the Colosseo on Friday night.
Woman suit #2: And?
Woman suit #1: I blew him after dinner.
–N train
Overheard by: downfromtheglen
Guy: But you haven’t been doing drugs?
Girl: No…Well, not really; I’m not sure what sucking off a drug addict counts for.
–Butler Library, West 114th Street
