BJs

Hipster guy: He wants to write a book about how hipsters are all about being nihilistic and getting lung cancer from oral sex.

–Hop Scotch, Ave A

Hipster guy to girl: It’s like, you can’t take my identity. I’m a film director, that’s who I am. It’s like if I was a carpenter, I would make wood. I mean, I would make buildings… You can’t just choose to be a carpenter.

–Pepe Rosso’s, Sullivan St

Asian hipster chick: You know, when you ask someone what they’re doing and they say clearing their head? I don’t think you can really do that because when you say you’re clearing your head you are really thinking about clearing your head so it isn’t clear after all.

–A Train

Overheard by: kate

Über-hipster chick to another: Bitch! Brunch tomorrow or I’ll fucking smack that headband right off you!

–8th & Bedford, Brooklyn

Hipster girl: What floor was fluffy on?! What floor was fluffy on?!?!??!

–Hookah Bar, East Village

Overheard by: Marisa

Hipster: It was a mess. I mean, you don’t want anarchists at the socialist barbecue. Haven’t you ever read Kropotkin?

–125th St

Overheard by: Ali

Bro #1: I'm gonna get him… I wish I was gay so he could suck my dick!
Bro #2: Man, don't say that.
Bro #1: I said it. I wish I was gay!

–Franklin Ave.

Teenage girl: Do you want to come?
Teenage boy: I want to come in your mouth.

–Broadway & 14th St

Overheard by: casey

Headline by: Postteen

Runners-Up:
· “A Young Christina Aguilera Gets Inspired” – PeterR
· “I’m Saving That Honour For Edward Cullen” – wirrrn
· “Just Let Me Take My Retainer Out This Time” – tatts
· “Oh, You Just Got Uninvited” – Stephanie Goe
· “Today’s ESL Class: Resolving Ambiguity With Prepositional Phrases” – Rionn Fears Malechem

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Chinese guy: Why not?
Chinese girl: Cause I don’t like the taste.
Chinese guy: But it’s the only way I can get off.
Chinese girl: Fine but eat something that makes it liquidy, otherwise it’s too hard.

–Grand & Chrystie

Security guard #1: Yo, I be the first nigga to have a PS3 up in the projects, yo.
Security guard #2: Last night my girl was blowing me while I was playing PSP. She be like, “slurp, slurp.” I was like, “yeah, get that. Get that.”

–E 34th St

Overheard by: Chris the engineer

Woman suit #1: Yeah, we went to the Colosseo on Friday night.
Woman suit #2: And?
Woman suit #1: I blew him after dinner.

–N train

Overheard by: downfromtheglen

Guy: But you haven’t been doing drugs?
Girl: No…Well, not really; I’m not sure what sucking off a drug addict counts for.

–Butler Library, West 114th Street

Hispanic guy to tall guy passing by: Pssst!
(tall guy turns head without stopping)
Tall guy: No, thanks. (keeps walking and Hispanic guy starts following him)
Hispanic guy: Psssssst!
(tall guy stops at door, opens it)
Hispanic guy: Oh, you live here. I live over there. Why don't you let me suck your dick?

–35th & 9th

Overheard by: Brad

Drunk NYU dude: You guys know that loose skin around your shaft or whatever? Push it over the tip of your dick. It feels like you have three balls. Three balls! Fucking sweet!

–NYU

Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual

Dude: I swear to god dude, I can feel my balls moving from side to side today!

–5th Ave

Hipster girl: Balls have no place in my mouth. Gum, chicken, or any other kind.

–F Train

Overheard by: Teabag

Loud fat black chick : I wanna kiss the balls of the person who made these cookies.

–Broadway

Overheard by: sounds yummy

Meathead on cell: I got some good shit for you for the gym. Shoot this shit in your ass three times a week and you'll look like The Incredible Hulk in no time… I can't believe you're doing all this stuff to impress your wife. We'll see how impressed she is when you don't have any balls anymore because you're on steroids. Who knows, maybe she'll start fucking me instead.

–48th & 8th

Overheard by: vicky

Guy on phone: I know classical music well enough to know that Vivaldi had no balls.

–42nd St & 10th Ave

Guy: I'll give you what I normally give you.
Girl #1: A toothbrush?
Girl #2: A penis in your face.

–113th & Amsterdam