Tall curly-haired guy: I have a magnet in my head, by the way.
Petite Asian girl: What? What does that mean?
Tall curly-haired guy: Nothing. Just a random phrase. Just being goofy and unfiltered.
Petite Asian girl: I have a donut in my brain.
Tall curly-haired guy: I've seen the X-rays. I know.
–Odessa Restaurant
Overheard by: baconista
Young child to mother: I am not psychic.
–Downtown B Train
Overheard by: furf
Normal-looking guy: But we have the complexity of magic!
–NYU
Asian Bikram instructor: Listen to your breast and find your inner piss.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Bikram Curious
Thug on cell: You don't know what kind of drugs they gave you, or if you really blacked out. But you have to understand that the spiritual world and the physical world are two different things. (pause) I don't have evidence of a spiritual world. (pause) You know that guy Des-cart? That's his name, right?
–Hunter College
Overheard by: trapped@hunter
Guy on phone: Listen, Julian, you are a shit-ass excuse for a friend. You can lick the peanut butter from between my toes. (pause) Listen, Julian, I'm on the other line with my psychic, let me call you back.
–49th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Lara
Guy, rushing into room: Guys, come here. I need a witness in the bathroom right now.
–Times Square
Screaming Latino stepping into urinal: Ah! Ah! Ah! Sorry y'all, I just got dem crabs, so it hurts when it comes out.
–South Ferry
Voice from cubicle emitting diarrhea sounds the day after Yom Kippur: Ugh, Jewish holidays.
–Broadway
Woman coming out of bathroom: I just heard the woman in the stall next to me say, "I love my ample taint."
–Astoria
Overheard by: Alison R
20-something girl in chucks to another: No, I will not get rubber boots. What do I look like, fucking Paddington Bear?
–CVS
Boy: I bet if I had three of me I could take on a grizzly bear.
–Columbia
Overheard by: Megan
Small, well-dressed girl: I want to eat the heart of a bear!
–Bohemian Hall, Astoria
Overheard by: Joseph
Guy on cell: You don't even know what the Care Bears are about!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Fresca P.
Guy #1: I need more leg room.
Guy #2: I need more arm room.
Guy #3: I need more gas room.
–Astor Place Theater
Overheard by: Tracy
Guy: Whatcha drinkin' there?
Wasted girl: Jungle juice. I made my own… special… red elixir. Haha. My eyes aren't even open right now, are they?
–Party, Brooklyn
Little girl: Mommy, my tummy hurts!
Mom: That's what happens when you only eat nachos and Shirley Temples.
–74th & Columbus
Little boy: Mommy, mommy!
Mom: What?
Little boy: Can I please have this? (holds up Transformers toy)
Mom, laughing: Yeah, the tooth fairy's gonna have to come a lot more for you to afford that.
–Target
Mousy teen girl: You know, a lot of people say I look like Paris Hilton. They say it's my facial features.
Trendy teen girl: Yeah… You know, even though Paris is really skinny and has big boobs, and that's exactly what guys want, her face is disgusting.
Mousy teen girl, looking down awkwardly: Yeah.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Miss Rach
Teenage tourist boy to friend, gesturing at a gay couple: They're holding hands!
Passing art lover: There's no one holding your hand, sweetheart.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Richard Nixon
