Wednesday One-Liners See London and France

30-something guy to another: She works for Sesame Street so she gets a lot of free underwear.

–Brooklyn Label, Greenpoint

Girl: Yeah, dude. She wasn't wearing any underwear so everyone was trying to pull down her skirt!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Mollie

Tourist mom in matching pink jumpsuit, struggling with too many children: Oh my Jesus, I wore the wrong thong today!

–42nd St

Overheard by: Emily

Puzzled hipster on cell: Wait…how did wearing a thong fuck up her eye?

–7th St & Ave A

Hipster girl on cell: Did you get your underwear? Lindsey! Goddamn it! "Eat" sounds nothing like "get!" Fuck! What? Fuck you, bitch! Taste of my own medicine, bullshit! I heard nothing about gnawing on my own underwear!

–Baskin-Robbins, Mulberry

Overheard by: Hana

Very blond mother pushing baby carriage, on cell: I don't care, we've talked about this! Don't fucking touch my underwear!

–20th St & 7th Ave

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Lower Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Nudity, Offers and requests, Questions, TV, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

I'm Not a Wednesday One-Liner — You're a Turkey!

Hootchie, about subway smell: It smells like gooood chicken in here. Like McDonald's.

–86th St Subway Platform

Overheard by: EthanK

Barnard girl, indignantly: Chickens don't have thighs!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: The Thighless Wonder

Kid to friends: Oh, shit! I forgot there's a chicken in my backpack!

–Canal St Subway Station

Overheard by: Mel

Cracked out lady on one crutch to cashier: Do you guys still carry like, hamburgers and chicken sandwiches and stuff?

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Ben

Perspiring panhandler on definitely non-organic substances holding a can and singing: I love chickennn…chicken breastsss and thighhhs…chicken heads…mmmmmmm…I love them goooood (keeps going) Thank you. (extends his can for donations)

–7 Train

Overheard by: OG Bergenfield

Woman on phone with friend: I mean he wouldn't even cut my chicken in half for me at dinner. I was all givin' him shit for it. We got in this fight and I told him, "That's what people do to show each other that they care! They cut each other's chicken in half or make them a can of soup or whateva'!" You know what I'm sayin'?

–88th St & Broadway

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Body Parts, Columbia, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Food, Girls, Homeless, Hootchies, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Panhandling, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women, Words

Poor Guy's More of a Houndstooth Czech

Gay guy #1, checking out another guy: That's a cute outfit.
Gay guy #2: Not with that face.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Oobs

Posted on September 30, 2008
Beauty, Body Parts, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Insults, On the Subway, Queer guys

A Boy Can Dream

Gay guy: Do I have a dick on my face?
Fag hag: I don't think so.

–50th & 11th

Overheard by: Memory

Posted on September 25, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Fag Hags, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Weirdness

That Does Explain Your Consistently Bad Breath

Jersey chick: Is it weird that I want to put it in my mouth?
Guy: Yes.
Jersey chick: I just like want to put it in my mouth to see its consistency.

–NYU

Overheard by: Jesse D

Posted on September 21, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Girls, Guys, NYU, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Incidentally, Your Palm Has Never Felt Softer

Large man: You fucked him!
Large woman: I didn't fuck no one…I let him cum in my hand.
Large man: Bitch!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: bo jokes

Posted on September 19, 2008
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Cum, Default, Insults, Men, Women

Could You Stop Demonstrating on Me?

Nursing student: Can anyone on this bus tell me why my teacher stuck his bare ungloved finger up this guy's rectum?!
(a couple of seconds later)
Nursing student: I saw some lady's uterus fall out of her vagina today, while giving birth.
Nurse also on bus: You are being really inappropriate today.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Audrey

Posted on September 19, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Education, Etiquette, Nurses, On the Bus, Port Authority, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Students, Weirdness

Especially If You Have Long Nails

Law student in the middle of the hallway: I think I got her on the foot thing.
Friend: Yeah? Just don't push it too hard.

–Fordham Law School

Posted on September 15, 2008
Advice, Body Parts, Default, Fordham, Friends, Sex, Students, Weirdness

And NASA

Hipster girl: Well they said her nose was going to fall off or something, so she actually hired this dude to blow the coke up her ass. Like, that was his job.
Hipster guy: I'm jealous.
Hipster girl: I know. I have a new respect for Fleetwood Mac.

–Baluchi's, East Village

Posted on September 12, 2008
Ass, Body Parts, Cocaine, Default, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Jobs & Careers, Music, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village

A Gaggle Of Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: I mean, it was bigger than a horse. But it had four humps.

–14th & 2nd

Overheard by: LIZ

Drunk man: A plastic sheep or a real sheep… When it comes down to it… is there really any difference?

–Biddy Early's Pub

Chick on cell: It's better than riding a golden yak!

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Man to friend: Did I mean "wombats"? Of course I meant fucking wombats!

–3 Train

Blonde: What is a mongoose and where can I get one?

–Times Square

Guy on cell (fumbling with a pack of Marlboros): Well, for one, it’s been ten days since the baby snakes have eaten.

–92nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: The Mad Man

Middle-aged white guy: …so we told the children they couldn't go to the petting zoo, to see how they would react. (pause) It was interesting on a psychological level.

–Outside of Butler Library, Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on August 27, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Babies, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Library, Men, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Psychology, Questions, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People, Words

Body Parts