Guy in line: So basically I threw up too hard and popped a blood vessel.
Woman at counter: What the fuck? That is disgusting!
Guy in line: Well, you asked.
–Pratt Institute
Guy in line: So basically I threw up too hard and popped a blood vessel.
Woman at counter: What the fuck? That is disgusting!
Guy in line: Well, you asked.
–Pratt Institute
NYU student, reading his writing aloud to class: “She looked as if god had stolen her face and then had thrown it back up onto an abstract expressionist painting.”
Professor: Wow. Well, that's deep.
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: not that deep
Guy #1: With her foot!?
Guy #2: Could you have said that any louder?
–Tom's Diner
Overheard by: fedmex
Bouncer: What is *with* you tonight?
Girl promoting free comedy show: I had sex last night and I want everyone to be happy for me! His ball sack melted in my mouth! (to passerby) Free comedy show downstairs tonight! (a second later, screaming across the street) His ball sack melted in my mouth!
–Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Dude #1: So when they told me Heath Ledger had died I asked if he broke his back!
Dude #2: Man–that was quick.
Dude #1: I didn't really say that. I just thought of it, but I'll use it tomorrow.
Dude #2: It'll be too late then.
Dude #1: It's never too late. There's always a second chance!
–Overlook Terracce & 186th St
Teen girl: Oh, I love your nose! What nationality are you?
Middle aged man: Pardon?
Teen girl: I mean, where were you born?
Middle aged man: USA.
Teen girl: What?
Middle aged man: The United States.
Teen girl: (looks confused)
Middle aged man: …of America?
–L Train
Guy: (pretends to throw up on himself)
Girl: (pretends to lick the vomit off his torso)
Guy: Oh man, that makes me really want some eggnog. (gets up and goes to get eggnog)
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Mariah
Employee: I was eatin' with my fried Okra and I vomited all over your fetus…and that's why you're so ugly.
–The Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: Dazzle
Girl on cell: Oh, please! That bitch is ugly and her cooch probably smells too, he can have her! Because I don't need him or his greasy ass head or pencil dick. (pause) What? Oh, fuck you also! (hangs up and storms off)
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Rich
Serious gay black man on phone: Oh, please honey…there are just so many ugly white women in Europe…it's got to be something in the water!
–45th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Culturally Challenged
20-something guy on cell: She ain't the prettiest bitch, but she got these crazy little hands.
–Throop & Macon, Bedford-Stuyvesant
Overheard by: elephantgiraffe
Hipster girl: I have ugly friends. I just don't hang out with them on weekends.
–McCarren Park Pool
Overheard by: I don't hang out with ugly people
Attractive tween to friends: And then Lindsay's aunt came into the bathroom to comfort us and said, "pretty people always get blamed for things ugly people do."
–W 65th St. & Columbus Ave
Child: What's in there? (points to dad's briefcase)
Dad: In here? Guns, people's heads…
Child: Cool!
–Uptown M16 Bus
Teen: I'll get us a cab.
Grandma: Let's just walk, it's only a few blocks from here.
Teen: Are you sure? What about your hip?
Grandma: Well, it hurts, dear, but I'm not going to be a pussy about it.
–57th St
