Man: There's an overpopulation of deer in the country.
Girl: Deers!
Man: Right, deers.
–Prospect Park Boathouse
Man: There's an overpopulation of deer in the country.
Girl: Deers!
Man: Right, deers.
–Prospect Park Boathouse
Five-year-old girl #1: Then she woke up, and she was in the Cylon hospital.
Five-year-old girl #2, in complete horror: What?!
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kate
Woman being introduced to a man: You already met me, you never remember my name!
Very angry man: No, I don't know you! I'm no ordinary dummy!
–Flying Saucer Café, Brooklyn
Hipster kid: I should just stop wearing underwear altogether.
–Loews Cinema, 84th St
Hipster girl on cell: Is it "i before e" or "e before i"? "E before i," right? I knew it was "i before e"!
–11th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jerome
Drunk hipster girl to boyfriend: I can't afford to buy drugs, I have to buy lunch on Wednesday.
–A Train
Overheard by: Jesse Jack
Angry hipster girl: Why are there so many ATMs everywhere?!
–6th St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Cash Money
Hipster girl, commenting on painting to friend: God, you see diamonds everywhere now. They're like the new antlers.
–Bushwick Art Loft
Redhead: Do you keep a standard diary?
Brunette: No.
Redhead: You should. Winston Churchill did, and Winston Churchill won World War II.
Brunette: I think Hitler had a diary, too.
–Fort Greene Park
Overheard by: Lulu
Woman on treadmill: I'm big on charity. But I only like giving money to kids that are messed up. You know, the ones who get in fights, skip school…
Man on treadmill: Mmmm. You know, the other kids that don't screw up are the ones who really deserve rewards.
Woman on treadmill, skeptically: Yeah. But I like kids that are messed up. That is why I don't ever want to have kids.
–Brooklyn Heights
Man exiting subway: No, thanks, I've had enough urine in my nose today.
–14th St & 8th Ave
Guy, infatuated with female friend: If I had a pool I'd let you pee in it.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Chadwick
Sturdy guy to chubby girls: We're men! We pee in the park!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: mmhmmm
Mad boyfriend beside girlfriend: No! No! No! I know how you are! I know how they are! All you have to do is pee and…
–Steinway St.
Overheard by: Dustin
Loud girl: Ugh, I wish I had a penis so I could pee on all ya asses.
–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Amused Freshman
Little boy to brother: I have all the power! Do not make me pee-pee on you again!
–Throop & Pulaski
Overheard by: Melissa Kairuz
Short girl: Yo, Friday? I'm getting done. Done! Getting saucy. Saucy! With two double Es. "Sau-cee!" Like pasta! Nigga, I get buns!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ben B.
Office drone to coworker: So yeah, they have this like big place in the city. But they have a patio and a garden and they cook every single night. They cook on their patio! But not like my cooking. Not cereal. They make braised lamb.
–32nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Marie Z.
Teen on cell: Mmm, that peppercorn brandy sauce was gangster.
–72nd & Colombus
Overheard by: Lauren
Random dude: Maybe they'll let you put a biscuit on lay-away.
–KFC, 106th & Broadway
Guy on cell: So, I just need to get some toilet paper, tomato soup, and chain myself in the room for a while.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Brigdh
Eight-year-old kid to mother, referring to generic cereal: Yo, they've got bootleg Froot Loops!
–Target, Atlantic & Flatbush
Overheard by: Ravi
Three-year-old, greeting grandma in Starbucks: Grandma! Grandma! Hey grandma, are you wearing your special underpants? Are you wearing your special underpants, grandma?
Grandma (laughing): Yes, yes.
–Brooklyn Heights Starbucks
Dude to girl: Just yesterday I was smoking a joint and my grandma was all "that smells good, Johnny, that smells good."
–Hop Scotch Cafe
Overheard by: bildita
Girl: Speaking of back-door entry, my grandma sent me an e-mail the other day.
–A Train
Overheard by: naiad
Woman: He's just lucky I learned some tricks from his great grandma.
–Dekalb Ave & Ashland Place
Guy to girl: You look like one of them li'l ass frilly dolls my grandma have on her bed. Cute. (girl stares) What, I'm not gonna get a thank-you for that?
–Canal St.
Overheard by: The
Girl to friend: And so my grandmother was that mail order bride!
–Beauty Salon, East Village
Overheard by: moca
