We Were Told There'd Be No Math on This Wednesday One-Liner

Girl on cell: I would have had to study way a lot more to do better on that exam.

–72nd St & Broadway

Student: I cheated on every test in that class…I even cheated on the survey!

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Liz

Guy: I can't decide which song to listen to. (girls around him look at him quizzically) No, I normally listen to Van Halen's Right Now before a test, but this is my first exam in law school, and I want to set a precedent.

–Fordham Law School Cafeteria, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: pumpkin

Guy on phone: Yeah, normally in these situations I'd knock on my head, but I need my brain for the test today, so I'm not going to pretend it's wood.

–Ditmars & 31st St

Overheard by: Natalie

Student on phone: So what? I don't care that they're mad at me for getting pregnant again. I've got bigger things to deal with…two finals in one day.

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Proctor: Okay, now don't leave any of the answers blank, cause it will be wrong. If you don't know, take a guess. It's like lotto: "Hey, you never know."

–New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene

Overheard by: Kristina

Posted on February 11, 2009
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, College, Compare/Contrast, Education, Fordham, Girls, Guys, Hospitals, Lies, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Street, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday Would Hit These One-Liners in a Heartbeat

Random guy to everyone nearby: Yes, you are sexier than Conor Oberst–all of you.

–McCarren Park

Overheard by: Chris K

Beer guy: I got sexy beer for sexy people! Beer so cold it talks back to you! If you don't drink beer, you die!

–Brighton Beach

Overheard by: Damn, I'd better by a beer…

Little boy in preppy school uniform to Asian teenage girl: Mmmmmmm…I like sexy girls. I like them a loooot. (takes out imaginary cell phone) Mmmm, mmhmm…I'd like that. Ohhh.

–M1 Bus

Hobo to guy carrying mirror: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the sssssexiest of 'em all?

–13th & 5th

Freshman to group of friends: Yo, when Jack* first got his hair cut it looked mad weird, but now it looks mad sexy, no homo. It kind of looks like the Jonas Brothers.

–Bard High School Early College

Columbia girl: She was sexy, but she shouldn't have done that. That's so Adam Smith.

–1 train

Overheard by: EthanK

Posted on February 11, 2009
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Boys, Brooklyn, Cell Phone, College, Compare/Contrast, Death, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Hair, Hobos, Horny, Music, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Preppies, Sex, Sorority Girls, Street, Students, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Can You Get Wednesday One-Liners from a Toilet Seat?

Girl swimming in the Hudson River: I'm afraid if I take a pee, I'll get a venereal disease!

–Hudson River & 26th St

Overheard by: Nellie

(student #1 loudly hacks up a lung, while everyone else turns around in horror)
Student #2: Whoa, what do you have, chlamydia or something?

–11th Grade English Classroom, Bushwick

Overheard by: The Teacher

Angry drunk man to bemused drunk woman: I don't wanna fuck you, okay? I'm just saying I don't have genital warts!

–Ave A & Houston

Groaning guy on corner: I really don't want crabs…

–53rd & 6th

20-something woman: Everybody has issues. They're like herpes one.

–St. Mark's

Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Posted on February 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Brooklyn, Classroom, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Fears, Girls, Guys, Hudson River, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Pee, Questions, Sex, STDs, Street, Students, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

Why Jackie Pushed Jill Down the Hill

20-something girl #1, outside bodega: Why are we waiting here?
20-something girl #2: How many times have I waited for you? My buckets are filled with your bullshit!

–15th St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on February 10, 2009
Bodegas, Brooklyn, Comebacks, Girls, Questions, Time, Vagina

And the Bisexuality

Hipster chick #1: Do you think the hipsters of our generation will have reproductive issues?
Hipster chick #2: What do you mean?
Hipster chick #1: You know, on account of the skinny jeans.

–Olive & Orient