Wednesday One-Liners Up the Wazoo

Guy on cell: Wow! That's a lot of cookies. If I had that many cookies, I'd put a couple of them in my ass. (pause). It doesn't matter, I've got the space. I can't eat that many cookies.

–23rd & Lexington

Teen girl to teen boy: Unless you want a 9 millimeter stuck up your asshole.

–Grand Central Terminal

Girl on cell: Well, it's still rectal.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

20-something girl to 20-something guy, quite loudly: Yeah, but putting a metal spike up his ass wasn't exactly what I had in mind!

–28th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Jar Aaron

20-something woman: Baby, I think we're going to keep the Thanksgiving dinner out of my asshole.

–Herkimer St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: M. Fresh

Posted on August 2, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Asshole, Boys, Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Food, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Street, Teens, Weapons, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesday One-liners, Fashion Dos and Don’ts

Girl: I didn’t know my brother was going to be at the party! And he was in a sarong!

–Park Ave S & E 25th

Guy on cell: No, no. You can wear hats on the internet.

–Smith & Wyckoff, Cobble Hill

Posted on July 29, 2020
Brooklyn, Fashion, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just “Sociable”

Drunk gay man: I've slept with more men than my mom has!

–Ave A

Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest

Woman to man: I don't want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers.

–9th Ave & 44th St

Woman on cell: It's just sex. There's no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything.

–Macy's

Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore?

–Bookstore, Brooklyn

Overheard by: -she probably said

Posted on July 26, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Gays and Lesbians, Infidelity, Insults, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, Parents, Preppies, Promiscuity, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Sexuality, Store, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires, Women

I Mean, Why Die If You Care About Your Body?

Man #1: So they were just rolling around in the back of the car, you didn't use anything to hold them down at all?
Man #2: Well, I mean, the bodies are gonna be embalmed anyways, they get all stiff then–so why would I?

–Bedford & N 8th St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: raeme

Posted on July 17, 2020
Brooklyn, Cars and Driving, Death, Men, Questions, Weirdness

She Misses Mommy’s Heroin Years

Little girl: Mommy! Mommy!
Mother: What is it?!
Little girl: Why you gotta have an attitude?

–Cortelyou & Marlborough, Brooklyn

Overheard by: BWA

Posted on July 3, 2020
Brooklyn, Kids, Moms, Questions

That's Why the Internet Was Invented, Brainiac

Guy #1: I typed “gentrification” on Google Images and I got titties.
Guy #2: Man, you can type in anything and get titties.

–Bushwick

Posted on June 26, 2020
Brooklyn, Google, Guys, Rack, Words

Wednesday One-liners’ Bun in the Oven

Guy: Of all the girls I am sleeping with or have dated, she is the one I would be least upset about if I got her pregnant.

–Brooklyn Heights

Posted on May 30, 2020
Brooklyn, Dating, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Sex, Sex & Relationships

I’m Glad We Had This Little Talk

12-year-old girl #1: Do you even like boys?
12-year-old girl #2: Yeah, I do!
12-year-old girl #1: Sure… You like them boys who be wearin’ all light colors, walkin’ around like, ‘How you doooin’? I’ma braid your hair!’
12-year-old girl #2: What? No. I like boys, I don’t like titties.
12-year-old girl #1, after a pause: Some boys be havin’ titties, though.
12-year-old girl #2: Word.

–Graham & Metropolitan, Brooklyn

Overheard by: amused in the bus stop