Chick: You told me this was a safe neighborhood!
Dude: It *is*! Just not safe to get naked in!
–Livingston St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ladle
Cashier #1: So they’re like, not gonna let me graduate.
Cashier #2: What if you give them money? My school’s a capitalist machine, they’ll let you get away with murder if you pay them enough…unless you’re pregnant. Then you’re screwed.
Cashier #1: Nah, they’re too used to kids pulling knives on them for extra pencils.
Cashier #2: Then cry. You can get anything you want by crying. Works for me.
–Kings Plaza, Brooklyn
High school boy: Superheroes are cool, right?
High school girls: (laughs)
–Governors Island
Overheard by: Brigdh
(six-year-old boy tries to cross street against traffic)
Father, grabbing boy's hand: Whoa, little man! That's dangerous!
Six-year-old boy: Daddy, I eat danger for breakfast.
–Ocean & Newkirk, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Well I eat razors and nails.
Girl #1: I hate my life! I need to go out there! Like drive to Hawaii!
Girl #2: You can't drive to Hawaii, you don't even have a license!
–Bedford & N 8th
Overheard by: Bklynguts
Drunk guy, matter-of-factly: Everyone comes in here and thinks they're smelling pot, when really they're just smelling Italians.
–Hammerstein Ballroom Men's Room
Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eaten macaroni. Does that count as Italian?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Kayla Monetta
Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, "you smell like Italian."
–E 10th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Loud bridesmaid at Guido wedding: I'm Sicilian from the waist up, American from the waist down.
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
College guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they started eating. Italian feasts are pornography. Italian food is illicit sex to the puritans. Everything the puritans eat is bland and brown.
–Brooklyn College
Middle-aged, pot-bellied guy with a long pony-tail, stopping young woman on the street: Excuse me, but I just want to say, once you've had Italian food, you're not hungry for anything else. I just ate a calzone and now I'm going to go home and just go to sleep!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Not hungry either
Guy #1: You know it’s just a name the real estate agents came up with so they could raise the rents.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Red Hook.
–B61 bus
Overheard by: Becca McLean
Chick #1: So I came home last weekend, and I saw that my dad had organized my vibrators.
Chick #2: By color or shape?
Chick #1: Color.
–Club Exit, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Galina
Running little kid #1: What kind of cheese do you like? Cheese or cheddar?
Running little kid #2: What's the difference?
–Knickerbocker Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Woman #1: Don’t you hate taking the train so early in the morning? I take it every day.
Woman #2: Could you not talk to me?
–A train
Overheard by: aida
