Little Spanish kid: Hey you big cracker!
Tall White guy: Oh, hey.
–Troutman & Irving, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Peter
Little Spanish kid: Hey you big cracker!
Tall White guy: Oh, hey.
–Troutman & Irving, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Peter
20-ish man: So, I used to use the laundry on Driggs, but that place is dirty. Two weeks ago I started coming here–
30-ish woman: –I don’t give a shit. I just wanna have sex with you before I gotta get the kids and my husband comes home.
20-ish man: Okay.
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Patron: What kind of vegetables do you have?
Surly Russian waitress: Boiled.
–Brighton Beach
Overheard by: cg
Thug to friend: That bitch looked up at me and said, "Damn, your dick tastes like coffee."
–86th St & Lexington
Overheard by: TINA
Female suit to other: Duane Reade is like the Starbucks of drugstores!
–Duane Reade
Old lady with shopping cart, exiting voting booth: Where's my Starbucks coupon?
–PS163, Bath Beach, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Torgo61
Guy on cell: Hey, bro! I'm having coffee and a bagel. (pause) No, an animal did not have to die for me to have this coffee!
–Arthur Avenue
Overheard by: eternal student
Man with heavy Indian accent holding a cup of Starbucks coffee: No, the most expensive coffee in the world is coffee beans eaten and then pooped out by a cat. It's $120 a cup.
–Elevator, 7th Ave & 31st St
Old lady #1: So, they put you on a slab and the coroner washes your body, like if you were all dirty if you died in an accident.
Old lady #2: They take your clothes off?
Old lady #1: Of course!
Old lady #2: I don’t think I want a strange man looking and washing my cooch!
–Bay Ridge
Girl #1, into phone: No, we’re in Brooklyn. Yeah, Spot Collins’s territory.
Girl #2: I cannot believe you just made a Newsies reference.
Girl #1: Bitch, please — you do it all the time.
–17th & 4th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: me too
Toddler, pointing: Boat!
Dad: That's not a boat. That's a church.
Toddler: Boat! Boat!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Not Noah
Hipster guy #1: Just, like, wait for her to bend down to tie her shoe or some shit.
Hipster guy #2: Then I should put it in? Like, through her pants?
Hipster guy #1: What? You’ve never been that hard?
–Studio B, Brooklyn, NY
Overheard by: DJALLTHETIME
Headline by: blistexaddict
Runners-Up:
· “… But Do Vinyl Stretch Pants Work As a Contraceptive?” – I’m wearing them, just in case
· “It Cuts Through Anything, Even This Aluminum Can.” – Beery
· “It’s the Only Way I Got Any in Saudi Arabia” – master
· “Mary Could Never Quite Explain to Her Doctor How Her Tonsils Got Perforated.” – Jen
· “Oh Sure, That’s How I Sewed This Shirt.” – Taylor
· “Or Just Use That Knife Thing From Se7en” – BabakganoosH
Dude #1: You know how I know you’re gay?
Dude #2, wearily: Because I love Connecticut.
Dude #1: What a fucking horrible place!
–Clinton & Myrtle, Clinton Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: JP
Woman stopping passersby: Do you know the Chinese restaurant on either 8th or 9th? (points at buildings on 14th Street)
–14th St & b/w 7th & 8th Ave
Girl to another: What is jizz?
–NYU Freshman Dorm
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Man in all seriousness to restaurant server holding two plates of food: Do you guys serve food here?
–Las Ramblas Tapas Restaurant
Woman on cell: Do you think they have batteries in the Dominican Republic, or should I buy some?
–Gateway Center, Brooklyn
Overheard by: DominicanEnergizer
Tourist woman: Excuse me, do I go Uptown or Downtown?
–Delancey St
Overheard by: TR
Bewildered girl in Persian class: Does Iran have lightning?
–NYU
