Son to father: Daddy, do they sell Spiderman clothes in here?
Father: No, I am pretty sure they don't sell Spiderman stuff in here.
Son: Yes they do!
–Victoria's Secret
Son to father: Daddy, do they sell Spiderman clothes in here?
Father: No, I am pretty sure they don't sell Spiderman stuff in here.
Son: Yes they do!
–Victoria's Secret
Old man #1: I been walking around all day with a hole in my pants and didn't know it.
Old man #2: When did you figure it out?
Old man #1: When I sat on the seat on the train and one of my balls felt like I dipped it in a bowl of ice cream.
–DUMBO
Construction worker with Long Island accent: Man, I finally found Waldo the other day.
Construction worker #2: Yeah?
Construction worker with Long Island accent: Tall, striped shirt, weird shoes. And I was like, “there's Waldo!”
–2 Train
Overheard by: Waldo's alter-ego
Check in girl: I only like buying books with sparkles on the cover.
–York & 72nd
Overheard by: fance
Teenage girl on cell: I gotta find this book in the religion section. You know, it's like… it's not that you believe in god, or you don't believe in god, but that you just don't care? I want that book!
–Borders Bookstore, Midtown
Amtrak conductor: A free copy of Amtrak's Arrive magazine is located in your seat pocket. For those seeking enlightenment, this magazine is the first step.
–Train, Penn Station
Student, discussing The Sound and the Fury: I suppose it's a very *artsy* ending–a big, retarded guy holding a broken flower… Does that come with skinny jeans and an apartment in Williamsburg?
–Stuyvesant High School
Tipsy 30-something nerd: We can't all be riding escalators with hard-ons.(older woman turns around) What, lady? It's a literary reference, look it up!
–1st & 7th
Overheard by: Phyllis Dean
Teen girl on cell: Yeah, I mean, I totally don’t get what your mom’s problem is. I mean, it covers your vagina!
–109th & CPW
Overheard by: Harris Mercer
NYU girl: I wore this to a party the other night, and I thought, ‘Slut, slut slut.’ But then I looked around…
–W 4th & MacDougal
Overheard by: Martin Johnson
Fat Caribbean woman to another: Oh, girls’ skirts today! My daughter — her skirt was so short you could see what she had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
–5 train
B&T girl to another: Now I have to go home and pick out an outfit to cheat on my boyfriend with for tomorrow night.
–14th & 9th
Overheard by: DocThomp
Teen girl on cell: … Something slutty. … What are you going to wear?
–Union Square Holiday Market
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Little boy: …and sometimes, my penis, gets stuck on my shirt!
Mom: It does, huh?
Little boy: Yeah, but I just pull it back off!
–Barnes & Noble ladies’ room, Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Guy #1: Those pants are cute. Did you buy them with the paint on them?
Guy #2: No, I was painting last weekend.
–68th St Loews Theater
Overheard by: amalthya
Mom to daughter, taking out ripped jeans: Rosemary, the people in Ireland will be thinking, “what is she doing wearing ripped jeans?”
Daughter: Mom, I'm sure that people in Ireland wear ripped jeans.
Mom: Yeah, poor people.
–Laundry Room, W 116th St
Hot British chick on cell, looking through her bag: Oh, dear! I still have your knickers!
–Outside FIT
Overheard by: epsd101
Disgusted teen to pals: You don’t put dirty underwear in a Marc Jacobs handbag!
–75th & Park
Overheard by: Oh to be Priveledged…
Whiny girl: I feel so shitty tonight, like if my D cups were B cups or something.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Trixie
Asian guy to another: By the end of the summer, both of us better be A cups!
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Girl: What do you mean you don’t know?! Look in your underwear!
–12th & 1st
Overheard by: Thinking about my tighty-whities
Douche #1: Yeah, I can only wear tailored shirts now, I can't wear stuff right out of the store anymore.
Douche #2: Dude, do you, like, get them mammogramed?
Douche #1: Nah, I'm not sure if my tailor does that.
–4 Train
Overheard by: I.D.H.
