Water polo boy #1: Entertain me!
Water polo boy #2: Dude, why don't we just naked wrestle! (pause) Or we could wrestle with clothes on?
–Edward's Parade, Fordham University
Water polo boy #1: Entertain me!
Water polo boy #2: Dude, why don't we just naked wrestle! (pause) Or we could wrestle with clothes on?
–Edward's Parade, Fordham University
Flyer guy to tourist: Take it, take it, it’s free! But my weed is not. I’ll be right here until five.
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Engi
Yuppie guy: Hey, you wanna buy a bong and get pierced?
–MacDougal & Bleecker
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Guy listening to iPod: Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed!
–183rd & Audubon Ave
Overheard by: BB
Black guy to another: All those niggas do is smoke weed and call ACS on each other!
–A train, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: Dude every time she sees me she’s like, ‘O-M-G, you’re high.’ And I usually am, but like, I like to think I hide it well. But she always knows. And even so, I’m like, ‘Em, why do you have to comment on it every single time? At the dorms, at parties, even at Target one time!’ Hahaha… But anyway, we might come Thursday. I’ll see if my funds are in order to make the trip. What kind of shit would we have to wear? Beach stuff? Oooh, and I could rock my stunna shades.
–6 train
Guy outside MTV studios: Stay calm. Everything is going to be okay. There will be marijuana giveaways.
–1515 Broadway
Overheard by: Rebecca
Student #1: Oh, all the t-shirts are mediums.
Student #2: Well, that's okay, that just means they'll be really long. Like a dress!
Student #1: Oh my god, we could totally wear them as dresses, with like, tights and cowboy boots.
Student #2: We would.
Student #1: We so would.
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: right behind them in line…
Portly young woman browsing dress for herself, nonchalantly: Oh, this is cute, but too bad it doesn't come in fat-ass-bitch size.
–Target, Brooklyn
20-something girl to boyfriend: Oh my god, you are so cute I just wanna punch you in the face!
–135th & 5th
Overheard by: Howzith
Middle-aged woman on cell exiting bus: You have a blessed day! (to phone) No, not you! I was talking to the bus driver–he was really cute!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: B44 rider
Student fundraiser to passerby: Taiwan needs help! Hey, you're cute enough to help Taiwan!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: L-Dubbs
Cute blonde to friend at gym: Oh my god! Look! That looks like a cuter version of this bald guy I slept with in a closet over the summer!
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Rob Lovett
Customer: You know what would be cool? If you guys, like, wore Tibetan monk outfits while you did that. That’d be cool.
Cupcake store employee: Ummmm…
–Rivington & Essex
Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege.
–W 13th St
Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes!
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras?
Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on.
–4 Train
Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome.
–Christopher St
Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass.
–Times Square
11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister.
–Bronx Playground
Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys!
–Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn
Little old lady to little old hubby: Fuck you, Dick, I am not crossing against the light! I can’t do it. Fuck you!
–Houston & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Almost peed on myself from laughing
Little tourist to mom: We are jaywalking, yay!
–Outside Sak’s
Overheard by: also jaywalking
Guy on cell: … So it’s fucked up, nights in the city. Everyone jaywalks, and they all wear black… Shit, good point! Blacks! … Yeah, you get a black guy wearing black, jaywalking — that’s a perfect storm of trouble! … I dunno, but I bet it has something to do with why insurance is so high…
–Broadway & Bleecker
Two guys cross street on ‘Don’t walk’ signal as car is coming.
Traffic cop: Hit ’em! Hit ’em!
–35th & 5th
Overheard by: mike
Loud grandma tourist blocking crosswalk: What’s the matter with these people?! Why are they crossing the street? Can’t they see the ‘No crossing’ sign? Where do they think they’re going?
–Times Square
Tourist woman to crowd of pedestrians: No, don’t cross! Here comes the big red hand!
–51st & 5th
Overheard by: Micaela
Teen girl: Don't you like how my bracelet matches my shirt?
Boyfriend: Are you serious? They don't match.
Teen girl: Yes they do! What's wrong with you?
Boyfriend: I'm color blind.
–L Train
Girl: I need to get something for my boyfriend for valentine’s day. I’m thinking of some panties and an outfit from Victoria’s Secret. What do you think?
Boy: That’s nice. I like dirty panties. Hanes tighty whities for women. I like them real dirty and crusty lookin’, like she just rolled around in some shit.
Girl: You nasty! What’s wrong with you?
Boy: Don’t be hatin’, that’s what I like.
–R Train
Overheard by: Chris
Man on cell: The notebook is perfect and it also fits down my pants.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I Love You Alex
Hipster girl: So, as I was tasting him… Oh! My pants just unbuttoned!
–W 12th St
Overheard by: Paige
Conductor: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is our last stop, Grand Central Station. Please make sure you have your purses, pants, makeup and fake eyebrows.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Meaghan
High school goomba on cell: He’s just mad because I’ve got my own style. Y’know, I decided what I wanted to be like — y’know, how I wanted to look — and went with it. Just wait until summer — he won’t be able to touch me. Yo, do you know how hard it is to find white pants in Staten Island if you’re a guy? I had to go to Brooklyn to get them!
–S48 bus, Staten Island
Overheard by: It’s not part of the uniform?
Girl on cell: Just pull your pants down and take it like a man!
–E 12th & 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Mistres Silver
Dude: Remember when that Turkish girl stuck her hands in my pants? I was like, ‘Hold on. You’re Muslim and I’m Texan — I don’t think this is gonna work.’
–Cheapshots
Overheard by: B
Man to lady: I need pants desperately. I can’t wait!
–32nd & Broadway
