Hobo to teen girl with an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt: Fitch…Fitch… How can you wear a shirt like that? Multimillion dollars…when there's so many bigger problems? Stupid…stupid.
Girl: Um, excuse me?
Hobo: How much they pay you to wear that around?
Girl (with attitude): Four. Thousand. Dollars.
Hobo: I..
Girl (interrupting): An hour.
Hobo: Oh, okay, understandable.
–Central Park
Overheard by: heygirlhey
American-born Indian guy with cream colored bell bottoms tucked in a paisley shirt: There's something about fob-y girls from Asia that is so sexy–they wear stockings.
Filipino American girls #1 and #2: Uhh, what?
American-born Indian guy: Yeah! There are studies that have been done on it, like by Duke University. It's like 20 pages long. Look it up.
–Prince & Elizabeth
Overheard by: based on what you're wearing, ONLY girls wearing stockings would find YOU sexy
Ghetto dude on phone: Do you know what I could do with that money? I could get a new pair of pants… or maybe get my hair done.
–Broadway & 86th St
Girl to another: I had this teacher in high school who wore the tightest pants. Camel toe all the time.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Giancarlo
Annoying sober 20-something, returning from bathroom: God! I'm so sweaty, it made it really hard to pull my pants down.
–Diner, 3rd Ave
Teenage girl to another: He came here to do a concert. He probably doesn't want to hear you scream, "Take your pants off!"
–Battery Park
Old man wearing suspenders #1: That's a great pair of suspenders.
Old man wearing suspenders #2: Thanks. I had a heckuva time getting them.
Library security guard: Sir, please lower your voice.
–New York Public Library, 34th & Madison
Neighbor #1: Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2: Knee socks? Or any socks?
Neighbor #1: Do you have any socks?
Neighbor #2: No.
Neighbor #1: Do you have knee socks?
Neighbor #2: No.
–Wagner College Dorms, Staten Island
Little guy to big guy wearing fur hat: You know, wearing fur is murder.
Big guy wearing fur hat: So is me pushing you off the train.
–A Train
Magyar lady #1: See that woman over there? Why does a woman that big come out of the house?
Magyar lady #2: And that floral dress? She looks like an elephant!
Magyar lady #1: Oh look, the elephant is walking past again.
Magyar lady #2: Why don’t any of the elephant’s friends tell her how bad she looks?
Guy on next bench: If you ladies will excuse me, I’m off to go join my wife, the elephant.
Translated from the Hungarian.
–Fort Tryon Park
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Water polo boy #1: Entertain me!
Water polo boy #2: Dude, why don't we just naked wrestle! (pause) Or we could wrestle with clothes on?
–Edward's Parade, Fordham University
Flyer guy to tourist: Take it, take it, it’s free! But my weed is not. I’ll be right here until five.
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Engi
Yuppie guy: Hey, you wanna buy a bong and get pierced?
–MacDougal & Bleecker
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Guy listening to iPod: Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed! Pussy, money, weed!
–183rd & Audubon Ave
Overheard by: BB
Black guy to another: All those niggas do is smoke weed and call ACS on each other!
–A train, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: Dude every time she sees me she’s like, ‘O-M-G, you’re high.’ And I usually am, but like, I like to think I hide it well. But she always knows. And even so, I’m like, ‘Em, why do you have to comment on it every single time? At the dorms, at parties, even at Target one time!’ Hahaha… But anyway, we might come Thursday. I’ll see if my funds are in order to make the trip. What kind of shit would we have to wear? Beach stuff? Oooh, and I could rock my stunna shades.
–6 train
Guy outside MTV studios: Stay calm. Everything is going to be okay. There will be marijuana giveaways.
–1515 Broadway
Overheard by: Rebecca
Student #1: Oh, all the t-shirts are mediums.
Student #2: Well, that's okay, that just means they'll be really long. Like a dress!
Student #1: Oh my god, we could totally wear them as dresses, with like, tights and cowboy boots.
Student #2: We would.
Student #1: We so would.
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: right behind them in line…
