Project Wednesday One-Linerway

Boy on cell: A swimsuit and a medal? That's a lot of clothes to wear. Hello? Hello?

–NYU

Overheard by: Xy

Man to other sitting on sidewalk: Dude… you know, gloves actually make your hands colder. They're not worth it, man.

–Astor Place

Small Middle Eastern male cashier to white girl: You are wearing things all black! Black bag, black coat, black hair. The only thing not black is you!

–Duane Reade

NYU hipster: People wearing white are in a cult, okay?

–NYU

Overheard by: Boots

Blind lady carrying cane, pointing to clothing on rack: Oh, this this looks good!

–Kmart, 34th St

Overheard by: AussieinNYC

Posted on January 21, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Boys, Cashiers, Clothing, Colors, Duane Reade, Girls, Hair, Handicaps, Hipsters, Men, Nudity, NYU, On Cell, Physical appearance, Questions, Race, Religion, Store, Students, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, White People, Women

How You Know Your Little Boy is Straight

Employee: I like your pink shirt.
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: It's not pink; it's white with pink and green stripes.
Employee: So you like to wear pink?
Coworker's 9-year-old nephew: My shirt *isn't* pink! (now shouting) It's white with pink and green stripes and it takes a real man to wear pink!

–Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Synitta Walker

Posted on December 20, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Clothing, Colors, Gender issues, Kids, Not New York, Questions

It's Possble You Don't Need Any More Sugar

Mom describing Fun Dip to little girl: Okay, you got orange, purple, and cherry. You take the stick, dip it in the pouch and eat it.
Little girl, excitedly: Aw, shit!

–Riverdale

Overheard by: Mark

Posted on December 16, 2008
Colors, Food, Kids, Moms, The Bronx

Wednesday One-Liners Are Bringin' Sexy Barack

Security guy to suit: Why do you all feel like congratulating me for his win? Just cause I'm black doesn't mean I should be congratulated. Why do you keep doing that? What the fuck did I do?

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: pop pop

little boy to father: When are the bad people leaving the White House so Obama can be President?

–Grocery Store, 71st & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Rena

FedEx guy to shipping clerk: Obama's gonna go uptown and say, "that's right, niggas, I'z here!"

–W 26th & 6th Ave

Angry black woman on cell: Excuse me! Obama is our President now and I won't be calling you "massa" anymore. You understand?

–Worth & Broadway

Middle-aged black man sitting at bus stop: Not "yo mama," not "Osama," "Obama!" They should paint the White House black. No…that would be irresponsible. Maybe caramel.

–125th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Nicole

Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. I want to wish you all a dry, cozy, Obama weekend. Now could you please spare some change for a hungry man? (young black man gives him change) Now that is an Obama voter. (looks around at white people) I will also accept change from McCain voters.

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Steph

Guy on phone, announcing to the bar: My baby can say "Obama"!

–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St

Overheard by: Karin

Posted on December 10, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, Colors, Dads, Glad the Condom Broke, Grocery Stores, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Homeless, Kids, Lower East Side, Men, Money & Class, Names, On Cell, On the Subway, Panhandling, Politics, President, Questions, Race, Rockefeller Center, Security Guards, Stupidity, Suits, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Mary Magdalene Is Crushing Big-Time

20-something girl #1: He's just so, like, passionate, you know? Like, he asked me what colors I like, and I said “blue,” and he said I would look really good in blue.
20-something girl #2: Wow.
20-something girl #1: I know. He's just like, so…moral.

–32nd & Lexington

Posted on December 7, 2008
Colors, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Stupidity

She Put the Lime in Her Coconut, and I Drank 'em Both Up

Lesbian: Rachel's dying her hair again, she's going back to redhead. She's so dedicated! Every time she changes her hair color she makes sure she does the whole job, just for me!
Friend: Uh, doesn't one usually do the “whole job” when dying hair?
Lesbian: No, no, I mean she dyes *down there*, you know?
Friend: Ah, right, gotcha. (pause) Uh, wasn't she lime green last month?

–F Train

Posted on December 6, 2008
Colors, Friends, Hair, Lesbians, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Vagina

What the Hell Goes on in Britain?

British boy #1: Can you believe we just spent $116 on t-shirts?
British boy #2: Yeah, we got one in every color!
British boy #1: Yeah, now we can be like those gangs in video stores!

–M&M Store, Times Square

Posted on December 5, 2008
Boys, Brits, Clothing, Colors, Money & Class, Store, Stupidity, Times Square, Weirdness

Curiosity Kills Desire in the Insecure

Hipster girl: Why is the sky blue?
Boy: I don't know. Let's never kiss again.

–Times Square

Overheard by: holding sushi.

Posted on December 1, 2008
Boys, Colors, Hipsters, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Questions, Times Square

Wednesday's One-Liners Are Standing at Attention

Thug: Yo, man! What color are my nipples? What color are my nipples?!

–LaGuardia High School

Teen to friend: Calm yo black nipples! Calm yo black nipples!

–Union Square

Overheard by: hairy pink nipples

Girl to friends: The idea of some machine sucking on my nipples just terrifies me!

–Bathroom, NYU

Overheard by: Trying to pee in peace

Random girl: Yeah, I have like four nipples.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Nameless

Tall beautiful 30-year-old curvaceous brunette in stockings and pumps on cell: I was like: "you're preaching about non-violence and you're touching my nipple!"

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Janusz

Posted on November 19, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Colors, Fast Times at New York High, Friends, Girls, Harassment, Nipples, NYU, On Cell, Sex, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

…Yet Mysteriously Able to See Through Clothing.

Hobo to another: Ohh… Check that out! Hot white ass!
Girl in blue pants: Why are there so many drunken perverts in Central Park?
Friend (seriously): He's probably just color blind.

–Grand Central Station

Headline by: dwasifar

Runners-Up:
· “…Or, Knowing Your Ass, Just Plain Blind.” – EddieA
· “Because Let’s Be Honest, He Clearly Wasn’t Referring to That Wagon You’re Dragging.” – Wilkeson
· “Or It Could’ve Been the Ablino Donkey Behind You…” – Krikit
· “Smurfette Swore She’d Never Come Back to the City Again.” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “The White Pants…Always Keeping the Colored Pants Down” – California Dave

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on November 3, 2008
Ass, Colors, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Handicaps, Headline Contest Winners, Hobos, Questions, Race

Colors