…Like the Rest of Us Have

Teen girl to friend: You should get a t-shirt that says “Will work for chocolate.”
Friend: You should get a t-shirt that says “Will have sex for free”!

–Montegue & Henry

Overheard by: Hal

Posted on November 10, 2008
Brooklyn, Clothing, Comebacks, Food, Free stuff!, Friends, Sex, Teens

Bruno Exceeds His Daily Civility Quota

Tourist: Is this our stop?
Helpful stranger: This train only got one stop!
Tourist: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know. This is my first time on a subway!
Helpful stranger: Then get the fuck away from me! I don't want no tourist cooties!

–S Train

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on November 3, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Apologies, Comebacks, Insults, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Strangers, Tourism, Tourists

We'll Be Like, “That Was Sad. What's for Dinner?”

Midwestern tourist dad: Next we're going to the Empire State Building.
Six-year-old daughter: How far is it? Do we have to walk?
Midwestern tourist dad: Yes, it'll be fun.
Six-year-old daughter (in super whiny voice): Why? It's too far, I don't wanna walk!
Midwestern tourist dad: It'll be fun, we'll see the sights along the way.
Six-year-old daughter (on the verge of a tantrum): But I don't wanna!
Midwestern tourist dad (in very calm and soothing voice): Well, you can walk with us, or you can just lay down and die.

–5th Ave & 38th St

Posted on October 24, 2008
Comebacks, Dads, Death, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Midwesterners, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Tourism, Wishes & desires

Hey, You're the One Who Said Hot-Pink Rhinestones Were Coming Back

Girl #1, coming out of bar: Oh my god, can you believe he thought I was interested in him? My tastes are way better than that!
Girl #2: And yet you bought that jacket.
Girl #1: What did you say?
Girl #2: Nothing…

–Bedford & 9th St

Overheard by: I agree with your friend

Posted on October 19, 2008
Beauty, Brooklyn, Clothing, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Questions

Well I've Been Trying to Cut Back on MSG

Woman to younger boyfriend: Honey, that Chinese food that you brought over is still in my fridge. I was going to throw it out.
Younger boyfriend: No, I'll eat it.
Woman: You don't think it's gone bad?
Boyfriend: It's only two days old. You're 31, and you haven't gone bad yet.
Woman: That makes no sense, and in any event, you haven't eaten me in a while either.

–Upper East Side

Posted on October 18, 2008
Age/Aging, Boyfriends, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Default, Eating Out, Ethnic Food, Girlfriends, Questions, Upper East Side, Women

It's a Hop, Skip, and a Plumed Hat from Being Prince Charming at Disneyland

Straight male employee: How gay do you have to be to shop here?
Gay male customer, overhearing employee: How gay do you have to be to work here?

–Michael's Craft Store, Queens

Posted on October 17, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Comebacks, Coworkers, Customers, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Queens, Queer guys, Questions, Shopping, Store

I'm Going Into Anaphilcollins Shock

Tourist exiting theater (singing): You'll beeee in my heaaaart…
NYC native, hurrying through crowd: Death!

–Richard Rodgers Theater

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on October 10, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Comebacks, Death, Default, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Singing, Theater, Tourists, Weirdness, Words

You Are My Wife

Cop: You can't go this way.
Driver: Shut the fuck up, asshole.
Cop: Tell it to your wife, buddy.

–17th & 2nd

Posted on October 7, 2008
Comebacks, Conductors, Cops, Default, Insults, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests

I May Have Overlooked the Free Beating I'm About to Administer

7-year old looking at toy ad: I want this and this…
Dad: Do you have money to buy them? Because I am not going to, and nothing in life is free.
7-year old: What about those papers you take every morning from that man? You don't pay him.
(dad goes quiet)

–5 Train

Overheard by: Guy