High school student: You know, you're the only black guy I've met who isn't an asshole.
Friend: I'm not black.
–R Train
High school student: You know, you're the only black guy I've met who isn't an asshole.
Friend: I'm not black.
–R Train
Girl #1 in bathroom stall: Last weekend sucked.
Girl #2 in bathroom stall: I peed in a Wendy's. That was the highlight of my weekend.
–The Saloon, 83rd & York
Overheard by: gem
Old suit #1: Look what's happening to this country!
Old suit #2: I know! We could be a banana republic!
Old suit #1: Purple is my favorite color.
–Outside Soho Bar
Guy: You know, with that blue polo, you look exactly like Billy Mays. Say, “OxiClean.”
Bearded guy, yelling: Billy Mays here for OxiClean! Wait, no. (clears throat) Billy Mays here…
–E Train
Overheard by: pete
Girl: So then I said "mother, I am 20 years old and you cannot tell me I can't go to Wet 'n Wild!"
–Central Park
Overheard by: Quella
Weird chick: Eeeeek! That toilet is flooding! My Payless shoes are getting wet! My beautiful Payless shoes! All this water looks like that movie, The Blob! Oh, I hate you, Steve McQueen! I hate you, I hate you!
–Women's Restroom, Port Authority
Overheard by: Amber Star
Drunk girl to drunker friend who spilled beer on her lap: Again with the vaginal wetness?
–LIRR
Guy to a girl in laundromat: Why can't you dry your underwear? Is that because they're so used to being wet when you're wearing them?
–1st. Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: Mike
Girl to boy: So about this whole wet dream thingy…
–C Train
Girl wearing yoga outfit to friend: And I'm like "you know that your face looks like a fucking cartoon character, don't you?"
–Houston & Mott
Overheard by: JohnJayinNYC
Teen boy: I don't like people. I just like Pokemon.
–Chipotle, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike N
Blipster: Girl, you know I already got a headache and then she all up in my face with that Dragon Ball Z breath.
–Fulton & Pearl
Girl, during promo network commercial before Up: It is not Cartoon Network if there are real people. I refuse to watch this show.
–Movie Theatre, Battery Park
Overheard by: Yelena
Excited man on cell: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? What are they? People love ancient Egypt way more than ninja turtles.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop
Overheard by: Casey Black
Scruffy hipster to friend: Now all we need to do is find Splinter and Donatello.
–L Train
Overheard by: lilli
Out-of-towner #1: It's Sunday.
Out-of-towner #2: Yes, it's Sunday.
Out-of-towner #1: No. It's Sunday… and everything is open. It's crowded! There's friggin' life.
Out-of-towner #2: That's because it's not Pittsburgh.
–34th St & Madison Ave
Woman wearing polo and running shorts: I'm stylin', honey!
Husband: That's what Rihanna wears.
–69th St & Lexington
Black guy: I prefer to keep my lesbianism in question. Sort of like a wave function.
White girl, cutting him off: Ah! Don't talk about wave functions ever!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: but keep talking about the lesbianism
Bro #1: Yo, Michael Jackson just died! He's dead!
Bro #2: No way! Oh man… Well, as long as it's not Dave Matthews…
–LIRR
Overheard by: fungus
