Girl #1: One time I farted and there was a cute boy there and I was mortified.
Girl #2: Yes! What did you say?
Girl #1: I blamed it on a homeless person!
Girl #2: Holy crap that’s genius.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Shanon Kelley
Girl #1: One time I farted and there was a cute boy there and I was mortified.
Girl #2: Yes! What did you say?
Girl #1: I blamed it on a homeless person!
Girl #2: Holy crap that’s genius.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Shanon Kelley
Woman #1: I heard your son started going to my son’s doctor.
Woman #2: Yeah, he has a great bedside manner… And he has a handlebar mustache, too, haha.
Woman #1: Yeah, so does my gyno.
–29th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jeffrey G.
Judge, at conclusion of trial: Well, I must say I was very impressed with the quality of the attorneys for both sides. It's extremely unusual and refreshing to see attorneys acting like lawyers.
Attorney: I would suggest, your honor, that it would be more accurate to say that it is unusual and refreshing to see attorneys not acting like lawyers.
Judge: Point well taken.
–Civil Court, Sutphin Boulevard, Jamaica
Overheard by: Big Larry
Drunk guy in full New Year regalia: Well, I'm from fuckin' Pennsylvania and I never seen anything like this! This shit is fantastic! Woo!
Irritated sober woman: Really? No one on this train had any idea you weren't from New York!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Hip 18-year-old daughter: Mom, stop laughing! I'm like the least funny person I've ever met.
Mom, laughing: No, you're so funny! You always have been! It's like you have an extra chromosome or something. (walks into an apartment and closes door behind her before her daughter and her friend can follow).
Girl's friend: So, you're retarded. You have an extra chromosome. You're fucking retarded.
–87th & East End
Overheard by: Sophie
Large black guy #1: Yo, check out that chick’s earrings.
Large black guy #2: Damn, they even match her outfit.
Large black guy #1: That’s, like, a whole new level of matching.
Large black guy #2, to girl: Yo, did you make those?
Girl: No, my sister did.
Large black guy #2: I reeeally like those.
–1 train
Overheard by: i like them too
Hobo to female passerby (singing): Pretty woman, walking down the street/Pretty woman, eating a hamburger…
–Wendy's, Union Square
Overheard by: Hungry Bystander
Salesgirl to another: You look pretty today…for a little Filipino girl.
–American Eagle, SoHo
Overheard by: Holly
Loud hobo walking through crowded train: Lots of beautiful ladies on this train. Beautiful white ladies. Beautiful black ladies. I like her hat. (turns to one shy-looking girl) Do you wear makeup? You shouldn't. You don't need it, you are so beautiful. If you have any makeup, just throw it away. Or send it to my girl, cuz she is ugly.
–Downtown 4 Train
50-something woman to pretty 20-something girl: I just wanted you to know that our husbands over there think you are one of the most beautiful girls they have ever seen. So now our husbands are going to have sex with my friend and I tonight. They may be thinking of you during, but thanks to you I am going to have an orgasm tonight, so thank you for being so gorgeous.
–Boat Basin Cafe
Overheard by: Megan W.
Guy on iPhone: You think because you're pretty you can get away with that shit. Well, you're wrong! You can get away with that shit because you're rich!
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Queer, to his German Shepherd: Steven, don’t play these mind games with me!
–23rd & 8th
Man, restraining his dog from following another dog across the street: C’mon, buddy. It wasn’t meant to be.
–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Woman dragging her dog away from another dog who is barking frantically: You know what? You’re just cuter than her. That’s why she’s so upset.
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: sara n.
Cop to his whining German Shepherd: Awww, what’s wrong baby? Did you see an asshole?
–West 4th Station
Girl: Have we ever said anything nice about anyone?
Guy: I said that stripper was hot last night.
–23rd & Park
Overheard by: melissa
Woman with crew cut to salesman: Excuse me, my husband's glow necklace is leaking–may I exchange it?
(glow necklace salesman hands her a new one)
Salesman: And that's a lovely haircut you have!
Woman, not amused: I'm going through cancer.
–Prospect Park
