Girl with petition: You look like a nice guy!
Suit: You’re fucking right I am! [Keeps walking.]
–68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Pierre Fresnay
Girl with petition: You look like a nice guy!
Suit: You’re fucking right I am! [Keeps walking.]
–68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Pierre Fresnay
Guy: I had to yell at her and tell her that she couldn’t be pregnant — I mean, dude, that was last week.
–St. Marks & 3rd Ave
Preggers to male friend: And that asshole came up and body-slammed me on the train platform! Of course, everyone was looking at me like I’m the animal. How can you body-slam a woman who’s seven months pregnant and not feel bad?
–D train
Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan
Preggers to lady pushing to get to cupcake table: Lady, I am four months pregnant. Getting between me and those cupcakes is a really, really good way to lose an arm.
–Magnolia Bakery
Snotty actress: Oh my gosh, she is such a good writer for my acting type. Her script is so like, like — pregnant with promise.
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Emilia
Girl on phone: No, I can’t have sex with you. Because then if I got pregnant I’d have to be like, ‘Whose baby is it? Well, let’s see — is it black, white, brown…?’
–Grand Central Station
British mother to young son: Do you know what I had to eat when I was pregnant with you, Bill? Buns! Buns! Buns! Buns! That’s why you’re mad about buns. [To daughter] And that’s why you like brown things.
–Varick & King St
Young woman to friends: And she keeps getting pregnant, and I’m like, ‘Stop it, woman!’
–Columbia campus
Overheard by: Cheney
Waspy woman #1, walking into J.Crew: It smells like J.Crew!
Waspy woman #2: It smells so good!
–J.Crew, Soho
Suit, tapping singing girl on the shoulder: You sing wonderfully.
Girl: Thank you very much.
Suit: Yeah, by “wonderfully” I mean it sounds like a cat getting ass raped by a donkey. So I am sure that everyone else would appreciate you not doing that anymore as it is only 6 am.
(passengers clap)
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
American tourist #1: Wow, your English is really good!
Scottish tourist: Um, thank you.
American tourist #2: Yes, it's really very good. You sound like a native speaker. What language do you normally speak in Scotland, anyway?
Scottish tourist: English.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: rachel
Girl to teenage posse: Either the pen was really weak or his butt was really strong.
–Jackson Heights, Queens
Overheard by: Newsbunny doesn't want to know
Crazy guy to self, after average woman walks by: Damn, that was a fine ass, a fine ass, that ass was so fine I'd eat a sandwich out that ass!
–36th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dingleberry
Large grown woman to grown man: I thought you have all sorts of butt magazines…
–34th & 8th
Guy to girl: I like it when you wear jeans, girl! It's like your ass is gift wrapped!
–33rd & 7th
Older woman to younger woman: If your booty deserves the credit, give it the credit!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Hell Yeah Give it the Credit!
Lady #1: So, apparently my son was over at Jessie’s house, and they were ‘touching.’
Lady #2, reminiscing: Oh, the petting…
Lady #1: I know, what a tramp! So anyway, Jessie’s mom was concerned about it, but I told my son, ‘Damn, you go boy!’
–Wall St
Overheard by: also likes the petting
Foreigner: She is lovely. But growing like a cow.
American friend: She is bit of a pork chop.
Foreigner: But she does not look like a man. Which is a good thing.
–6 Train
Chick on cell: We can’t let Blair and Tootie control our lives!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Poogins
Homeless crazy black guy to three scared white girls in their twenties: Time is crazy. Oh man, what time is "Desperate Housewives" on?!
–10th Street & 3rd Ave
Large latino: Yo, it was so good last night, I mean I can’t believe you missed it. It was the best episode I’ve seen yet, seriously bro… Well the main thing that happened was Heidi tried to apologize to LC and she was all like: "I wanna forget you!" I was like: "Whaaaaaat? For real?" It was crazy, you gotta catch it!
–Times Square Office Building
Overheard by: SUSAN
Redhead: The "Brady Bunch" world is a world without urges.
–Veniero’s, 11th St between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Muscular guy: He comes up to me talking all this shit, saying that he’ll bring it. Bring what? He’s not gangsta like I am, he ain’t thug like me. Skinny motherfucka looks like a damn burnt-out Screech.
–On the Bus
Fulsome girl with bad dye job: I’m like: "I watch ‘Law and Order: SVU’, I’m not getting in your van."
–15th between 6th and 7th
Overheard by: Disunionsquare
Aries Spears, in line for an Ashlee Simpson autograph: I’m the black guy from MADtv! [Grabs a random girl’s camera and snaps a picture of them together and walks away.]
–Virgin Mobile Mega Store, Times Square
Guy #1: I’d totally have a threesome with Judi Dench.
Guy #2: Uhh, this conversation is getting uncomfortable.
Guy #1: C’mon, dude, dame Judi Dench is the bomb!
–Chelsea
