Dressing room attendant #1: So, you gonna sleep with him?
Dressing room attendant #2: Naw, I ain't gonna sleep with him! I ain't that easy, I ain't no fish!
–The Gap
Overheard by: Sunny
Dressing room attendant #1: So, you gonna sleep with him?
Dressing room attendant #2: Naw, I ain't gonna sleep with him! I ain't that easy, I ain't no fish!
–The Gap
Overheard by: Sunny
Dude: Thanks for showing me that in the computer program.
Chick: Sure! I like to give everyone a piece once in a while.
–Tunnel St, Chinatown
Cop #1: Sir, you need to move along.
Insane hobo: I didn't touch anyone, goddammit! I didn't do nuthin! I don't touch!
Cop #2: Just get the hell outta here.
Cop #1: Please just move along.
Hobo: I didn't do nuthin, goddammit!
Cop #2 to cop #1: Can I pistol whip him?
–Atlantic Avenue Station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Derek
Cop #1: It smells like bacon.
Cop #2: Sorry.
–W 47th St
Woman, texting: How do you pluralize "uterus"?
–TKTS Booth
Overheard by: DramaPirate
Kids entertainer, singing: Do you know what a co-creator is? To create is to make something, and when you co-create, you do it together…
–Kindergarten party, Williamsburg
Cashier with cookbook: It's got a table of continents so you can see what's in it!
–Department Store, 225th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Student: I just love adding "izzle" to the end of words.
–Metro-North
Coworker: UPS didn't have the tracking information at first, but then they found it… Good thing, because I was about to blow a casket.
–Fordham University
Super serious, energized young professional #1: So my roommates are totally into mustard.
Super serious, energized young professional #2: Yes. Love it.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Zach
Hobo, suddenly lunging at random female customer: My meat! My meat! My meat! You took my meat! I saw you! You put it in that cart! My meat!
Gristedes staff converge on the old man who is dragged away, still clinging to the woman.
Manager, shaking his head: Yesterday, and again today, Jimmy!
–Gristedes, 1st Ave between 73 & 72
Overheard by: Emily Duncanson
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding.
–Midtown Office
3rd grader, cheerily announcing to subway: I'm starving! I didn't even have breakfast! (jubilantly) Just candy!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i tried that once
Cosi employee to another: Dude, don't tell anyone, but I put a *special ingredient* in the brownies.
–Cosi Restaurant
Fat girl with three skinny friends and a large cupcake: So what do you think our cupcake choices say about our personalities?
–Crumbs Bake Shop
Overheard by: Damon
Old guy with ponytail: You bootlegged My Bloody Valentine? That's like breaking into the US Mint and stealing the chocolate sauce!
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Good Analogy
Girl: And by "jellybean," I mean "fetus"!
–Christopher & W 4th St
Woman: It's no longer a chocolate vagina, it's just a pool of chocolate!
–Manhattan Center Grand Ballroom
Overheard by: Ilyssa
Boss calling out from office: Eric*, what’s your city of birth?
Employee #1: Oh, I don’t know. I put down a variety of places.
Employee #2: You don’t know your city of birth?
Employee #1: Well, it’s either the town or the city it’s near… The place… It’s like an umbrella.
Employee #2: Oh.
–Hedge fund office, 57th & 5th
Overheard by: the silent temp
