People Who Live in New Jersey Should Not Throw Stones

Drunk fan: Martin Brodeur fucked his sister-in-law.
Sober pisser: That’s worse than OJ Simpson.
Drunk fan: Yeah, he’s French Canadian.

–Madison Square Garden bathroom

Overheard by: TrueBlue

Posted on April 16, 2019
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Default, Drunks, Family Ties, Global Geography, Madison Square Garden, Sex, Stall Spies, Strangers, Weirdness

I Grudgingly Obey the Laws of This Godless Democracy

Middle East man, exiting his vendor cart: But I miss you!
Retreating American woman: You have, like, five wives and three girlfriends.
Middle East man: No! I do not!

–13th & 5th

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on April 9, 2019
Default, Foreigners, Islam, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Relationships, The Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Women

Boys Take Non-Poking Very Literally

Teen girl: I was so mad at him that I unfriended him on Facebook.
Friend: What does that mean?
Teen girl: I was mad, but not mad enough to break up. This way we can still message each other, but he can't poke me anymore.
Friend: So, technically, would this be symbolic or metaphorical action?
Teen girl: What?
Friend: Nevermind.

–Penn Station

Posted on March 30, 2019
Breaking Up, Default, Facebook, Friends, Girls, Penn Station, Questions, Relationships, Stupidity, Teens

Preferably with Uprooted Oaks, although Maples Usually Get the Message Across

Young mom to disabled son: I do everything for you — I move trees for you, and then you fuck it up and I have to wale on you!

–24th & 2nd

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Posted on March 28, 2019
Default, Gripes, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Violence

Complimenting My Genitals Does Nothing to Contradict My Argument

Junior high kid: Nice bike, fag!
Guy on moped: Nice prepubescent penis, kid!

–Greenwich Village

Overheard by: Matthew

Posted on March 14, 2019
Age/Aging, Boys, Compliments, Creepsters, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Penis, Queer guys, The Village, Tweens

Plus, We Both Like Ice Cream. And the Beatles!

Bimbo #1: Yeah, I really think I like him. We get along so well. I mean, we have a lot in common.
Bimbo #2: Oh yeah? Like what?
Bimbo #1: Well, we both love pugs.
Bimbo #2: As in the type of dog? Everyone loves pugs. How can you not like pugs? They are so fucking cute.
Bimbo #1 (challengingly): Yeah? Well, how about this one? Both of our dads died in plane crashes.
Bimbo #2: Oh. My. God. You are sooo meant to be together.

–Brooklyn Bound N Train

Overheard by: totes meant to be

Posted on March 8, 2019
Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Compliments, Death, Default, Girls, On the Subway, Parents, Relationships, We Love Our Pets, Weirdness

First-Come, First-Served Is a Pretext for Discrimination!

[A woman creates her own line and walks up to the counter.]Postal employee: Ma’am, you have to wait in line.
Latino woman: I was in the esspress line.
Postal employee: We don’t serve espresso here ma’am, this is the post office.
Latino woman: What? You think I’m stoopid? I have less than ten items.
Postal employee: There is no express line at the post office, please wait in line like the other people.
Latino woman: Oh… I see how it is.
Postal employee: Happy holidays, ma’am.
Latino woman: Fuck you too.

–Post Office, 14th Street & Avenue A

Overheard by: texmorgan