Suit #1: So, it was like a mafia meeting, with a bunch of guys sitting around eating sandwiches?
Suit #2: Nah, there were no sandwiches.
–Grand Central Station
Suit #1: So, it was like a mafia meeting, with a bunch of guys sitting around eating sandwiches?
Suit #2: Nah, there were no sandwiches.
–Grand Central Station
College chick #1: He told me afterwards that he hadn’t masturbated all week but seriously, he came so much that it was oozing out of the base of the condom.
College chick #2: That’s so gross.
College chick #1: Yeah but that’s not the worst part, it had the consistency of yogurt.
College chick #2, awed: Man, yogurts…
College chick #1: Yeah it was kinda inspiring. Only also kinda horrible.
College chick #2: Wait, if the cum was coming out of the condom, doesn’t that mean you might get pregnant?
College chick #1: Yeah I guess, but I feel like that sperm kinda earned it, you know? I dunno if I could complain with sperm that um, fortitudinous.
College chick #2: Good word.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Asian girl: O-M-G, did you try the bull’s penis?! Was it big?!
Asian guy #1: Yeah, it was pretty nasty.
Asian girl, pointing to Asian guy #2: Oooh, he tried the cow’s tongue!
Asian guy #2: Uh, can we not talk about that?
–Famous Pizza, Kisseria Blvd, Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Sajel
Headline by: KatieNB
Runners-Up:
· “Everybody Knows All the Best Asian Sex Clubs Are in Queens” – PeterG
· “Eww, He Ate the Tongue That Licked the Bull Penis That I Ate! That’s Like Hooking Up Indirectly.” – Whoscawatziz
· “Fear Factor Here = Food Network Over There” – Jimmy
· “One’s a Lifestyle Choice, the Other’s Just Sick” – Gerald Lanning
· “Penis, It’s What’s For Dinner!” – DR G LUV
Dad in pet food aisle, near huge bags of kitty litter: You can’t haul that.
Son: 190 pounds of solid muscle, man.
Dad, snorting: Thought that was canoli.
–Key Food, 4th St & Avenue A
Overheard by: Michelle
Cop: There are no downtown express trains! I repeat, there are no downtown express trains. If you have a problem with that, take it up with the President of the United States!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Trixie
Suit on cell: The problem with Canada is that it’s not the U.S.
–129th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Koen
Black guy on cell: Yeah, what is Condoleezza Rice, anyway? I think she’s Puerto Rican or Dominican. She’s definitely not American.
–Barnes & Noble, W 66th St
Black guy to white friend eating lunch: Ah, yes, the American dream: doing nothing while eating a sandwich.
–Stuyvesant High
Hobo: Thirty-two-gallon garbage can — who wants this beautiful 32-gallon garbage can? Made right here in the US-of-A! Come on, people! It’s an American product at Mexican prices. Now, what’s my first bid?
–4th Ave & Atlantic
Overheard by: Mike N
Large black lady on cell: I know, right? Osama bin Laden is like the Uncle Sam of America!
–CVS Pharmacy
Man: It just got to the point that if I took another bite, it would explode all over me, so I shoved the whole thing in my mouth. [Woman eating ice cream cone snickers.]
–Central Park
Teen girl #1: I really want some sa’mores. We should totally make sa’mores.
Teen girl #2: Sa’mores? It’s ‘s’mores,’ not ‘sa’mores’! Sa’mores! Sa’mores… Yeah… Sa’moron!
–81st & 3rd
Overheard by: i love smores
Puerto Rican girl #1: I really hate the way she eats.
Puerto Rican girl #2: Yeah, but she’s Jamaican. You know how they are.
–Bergen St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Dumbfounded
Headline by: Gutterlush
Runners-Up:
· “At Least She Isn’t Dominican.” – Jon
· “Even Their Chickens Are Jerks.” – Howard Bannister
· “Psychic?” – Beryl
· “Racism! It’s What’s For Dinner” – Goldielox
· “You’re Just Jealous You Can’t Use Your Dreads As a Fork” – Chels
Man #1: No one is going to eat this pie.
Man #2: Yeah, someone will.
Man #1: Well, not after I finger-fuck it!
–Union Square
Hobo: Yo, man, let me get a bite of that!
Guy eating cheesesteak: Naw, man!
Hobo: Dayummmn… Well, you ain’t gotta eat it that fast!
–Lafayette & Broadway
