Wednesday One-Liners in Elbow-Patch Blazers

Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight.

–Fordham Universityy

Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon.

–Yeshiva University

English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk.

–Hunter college

Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together.

–Fordham Law School

Overheard by: EntertainedStudent

Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually.

–NYU

Overheard by: queenofscots

Posted on November 26, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Books & Writing, Classroom, College, Compare/Contrast, Drugs, Education, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Fordham, Health and Hygiene, Hunter, Judaism, Marriage, Medicine, NYU, One-liners, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Words

Prostate Cancer?

Girl #1: Sara, everything’s not about you.
Girl #2: Everything’s relevant to me.

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Trix

Posted on November 8, 2014
College, Fordham, Manhattan, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

He’s Definitely Going to Take a Class First

Girl: Well, it’s not as if he’s just going to go around aborting fetuses.
Guy: Yeah, you’re right.

–Fordham University Rose Hill

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on October 26, 2014
Abortion, Fordham, Girls, Guys, Medicine, The Bronx

Or the Prime Minister of Israel?

Girl #1: Oh, Yahoo Japan, I thought it said Yoohoo.
Girl #2: What’s Yahoo? Is that a place in Japan?

–Dorms, Fordham University

Overheard by: MeganB

Posted on October 16, 2014
Default, Fordham, Girls, Global Geography, Internet, Questions, Stupidity, Words

Until She Met Ethel, Lucy Had Trouble Getting Into Trouble

Student #1: And then what we'll do is…
Student #2, interrupting: I am not down with this, boss.

–Fordham University

Posted on October 13, 2014
Comebacks, Fordham, Students, Weirdness

Wednesday One-liners for the Tots

Little girl: Mommy, how old will I be when I have sex?

–18th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mayde and Daniel

Posted on October 10, 2014
College, Elevators, Fordham, Ghetto Chicks, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Queens, Should've Used a Condom, Stupidity, The Bronx, Upper East Side, Violence

Dangerous Showers There, Too

Professor guy: …Then he was sent to Buchenwald. Have any of you visited any of the camps?
Girl: I did.
Professor guy: Yeah? Did you visit Buchenwald?
Girl: No.
Professor guy: Did you visit one in Germany?
Girl: No.
Professor guy: Did you visit one in Europe?
Girl: No, it was in America.
Professor guy: Are you talking about a summer camp?
Girl: Yeah.

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Overheard by: Maggie B.

Posted on October 8, 2014
Fordham, History & Geography, Students, Teachers/Professors

Elsewhere: Wednesday One-liners

Teen boy: “Romanian”? What’s that, Italian?

–N train

Posted on September 21, 2014
Anger Management, Animals & Nature, At the Airport, Brooklyn, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Crazies, Drugs, Fordham, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, History & Geography, Lower East Side, Man's Best Friend, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Queens, Queers, Religion, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, We Love Our Pets

If Wednesday One-Liners Could Turn Back Time…

Girl on cell: It's 111 Columbus. No, Columbus as in the guy who discovered the world.

–Houston & Broadway

Guy to group: Napoleon is the funniest guy ever!

–Fordham University, Bronx

Overheard by: Krisztina

Hipster: Europe is cool, you know, because the towns are like soil samples when you look at them. You can pull the historical soil sample and see the layers of crustaceans and stuff.

–Party, Park Slope

20-something girl to friends: Mix tapes are like a little piece of history.

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Jo King

Male professor: Remember for your papers, John Brown was hanged, not hung. He might have been hung too but that is a different topic.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Go Rams!

Posted on August 17, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Fordham, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, History & Geography, On Cell, Park Slope, Teachers/Professors, The Bronx, The Village, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Use “Summer” As a Verb

Older woman to friend: Down there where the servants are, you know, where the gardening people and the kitchen is, I don't go there. I just don't go there.

–38th & 5th

Overheard by: garden in manhattan?

Greek Princess shopping for wedding rings: This isn't the more expensive ring I wanted but we just bought an apartment in the 70s.

–Tiffany's Second Floor

Overprivileged teenage girl on cell: The bourgeoisie… The bourgeoisie are like, the common people.

–Union Square

College girl: No, I mean seriously: who, by the age of 25, has not been to Rome or Florence?

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Dan

Six-year-old: Mommy, how do you spell "Forbes"?

–Restaurant, Upper East Side

Overheard by: jess