Girl to friend: I think her name's Elizabeth.
Friend: My friend's name is Elizabeth! She's a twin.
Girl: Is she? What's that word for “identical”?
Friend: Yeah… “fraternal.”
Girl: Yeah, everyone is named Elizabeth.
–47th St & 3rd Ave
Girl to friend: I think her name's Elizabeth.
Friend: My friend's name is Elizabeth! She's a twin.
Girl: Is she? What's that word for “identical”?
Friend: Yeah… “fraternal.”
Girl: Yeah, everyone is named Elizabeth.
–47th St & 3rd Ave
Gay guy, looking at girl dressed in princess costume: Look at that little girl. She looks so cute!
Gay friend: Yeah, she's really adorable.
Gay guy: If I had a daughter she would dress like that every day. She would wear that to school. (pause, looks at father) I would totally fuck her father.
–17th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Julie
20-something girl: Where do you want to go to dinner? How 'bout that Italian place on the Lower East Side? The one we went to when your parents were in town?
Tarty friend: Oh, no. We can't go there.
20-something girl: Why not?
Tarty friend: (stares at her intently)
20-something girl: Oh. Well, how bout that place we like in the West Village?
Tarty friend: Nope. Sorry.
20-something girl, exasperated: Hey, can you, like, stop sleeping with the waiters at all our favorite restaurants? I'd really like to be able to eat at these places again.
Tarty friend, sighing earnestly: I'll try.
–2 Train
Overheard by: doesn't know whether to be impressed or judgmental
Hot schoolgirl to plain friend: I think my boobs are getting bigger.
(every guy in the train looks)
Plain friend: Ummm, you said that a bit loud…
Hot schoolgirl: No, seriously, look! (cups boobs) They're bigger! They're like under my chin now. Every time I look down I get surprised, because they're just so there!
Plain friend, embarrassed: Please shut up until we're off this train.
Hot schoolgirl, looking up: Huh, what? I missed that, I was distracted by my boobs.
–1 Train
College girl on cell: He told me he got in a knife fight with his dad, and I was like (sarcastic) "Yeah, okay! You got in a knife fight with your dad." (pause) But he probably did get in a knife fight with his dad…
–Columbia University
Girl to friend: Trinity is the school for kids from Choate who stabbed their roommate.
–Clover Club
Overheard by: Emily
Girl to friend: I will cut you in your face with a knife before I put my hands on you. You feel me?
–E 161st St, The Bronx
Hamptons club girl: You mean I cut him with a razor blade and I don't even recognize him?
–Outside East Village Club
Overheard by: DJ
20-something girl, on cell: Oh my god! Who the hell gets stabbed in the back of the head at a flower shop?
–Starbucks
Middle-aged woman to another: Oh! Look at those nuts, Theresa!
–Holiday Market, Union Square
Four-year-old girl, holding giant lollipop: Daddy, look! It's so big I can't get my mouth around it!
–Gristedes, University Place
Overheard by: M
Girl to friend bending down to pick something up: You are now the official bender in this relationship.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman reading menu outside: I love fish tacos!
–Chavela's, Prospect Heights
Overheard by: zack g.
Girl on cell: Well, my mouth is really small, you know? So I needed something really wide to hold it open.
–1st Ave & 5th St
Overheard by: Asaywhat
British chick: I love my sneakers! They are designed to tone my calves.
American friend: Your sneakers are like the Twighlight vampires, lame and sparkly.
British chick: Yeah, but I'm gonna have the best calf muscles!
American friend: Okay!
–AMC Loews Kips Bay Theatre Movie
College guy: I have 100 maps in my bag.
Friend: Why?
College guy: I found a treasure map… For treasure maps.
–Spring St & Crosby
Overheard by: Sean Curry
Trust fund teen girl in Uggs: It's really weird, but I have no desire to go to Antarctica.
Trust fund friend, also in Uggs: That's not so weird. Everyone I know who went was so over it fast.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: KP Whitey
Guy in courtyard, doing pelvic thrusts: Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and…
–NYU Dorm
Girl to friends: Yeah, after he stopped doing yoga it all went downhill…
–East Village
Guy on cell, screaming: I'm a machine! I'm unstoppable! Who goes out till four in the morning and then destroys a triathlon the next day? I'm a machine!
–91st St & York Ave
50-something yoga instructor: Bring attention to your reproductive organs, squeeze them as hard as you can, and release. Let them go, let them hang loose.
–Yoga Studio
Overheard by: Puff
Conductor: I was watching the winter Olympics speed skating and I got to thinking about the summer Olympics. A New Yorker should win the 100 meter dash. All they have to do is put an open train door at the end of the track and start the race with "boop boop." You know that New Yorker is going to win the gold. Ya'll have a good day now.
–A Train
Overheard by: Commuter #1,792,824
