British chick: I love my sneakers! They are designed to tone my calves.
American friend: Your sneakers are like the Twighlight vampires, lame and sparkly.
British chick: Yeah, but I'm gonna have the best calf muscles!
American friend: Okay!
–AMC Loews Kips Bay Theatre Movie
College guy: I have 100 maps in my bag.
Friend: Why?
College guy: I found a treasure map… For treasure maps.
–Spring St & Crosby
Overheard by: Sean Curry
Trust fund teen girl in Uggs: It's really weird, but I have no desire to go to Antarctica.
Trust fund friend, also in Uggs: That's not so weird. Everyone I know who went was so over it fast.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: KP Whitey
Guy in courtyard, doing pelvic thrusts: Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and…
–NYU Dorm
Girl to friends: Yeah, after he stopped doing yoga it all went downhill…
–East Village
Guy on cell, screaming: I'm a machine! I'm unstoppable! Who goes out till four in the morning and then destroys a triathlon the next day? I'm a machine!
–91st St & York Ave
50-something yoga instructor: Bring attention to your reproductive organs, squeeze them as hard as you can, and release. Let them go, let them hang loose.
–Yoga Studio
Overheard by: Puff
Conductor: I was watching the winter Olympics speed skating and I got to thinking about the summer Olympics. A New Yorker should win the 100 meter dash. All they have to do is put an open train door at the end of the track and start the race with "boop boop." You know that New Yorker is going to win the gold. Ya'll have a good day now.
–A Train
Overheard by: Commuter #1,792,824
Crazy man, singing in deep tenor voice: Meow! Meowwwwwwww! Meowwwww! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
White woman, singing: That's the way/uh-huh/uh-huh/I like it! Brrr! Cock-a-doodle-do!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Thug, quietly to friends: Daaaamn, yo! I just wanta teabag that ho! (starts singing loudly) Come back girl, I juss wanta teabag, o, I juss wanta teabag yo ass!
–Outside Tech College, 31st & 10th
Woman in bathroom stall, singing operatically: I don't have a care in the world! (sneezes) Oh my god! Damn it!
–Actor's Equity Building
Overheard by: Natalie
Boy, singing: Vagiiiiiiinas… They're eeeeverywhere, vagiiiiiinas…
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Hobo, singing: I don't neeeeed no money! (pause) Well, that's not exactly true, that's just the words to the song.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Chris K.
30-something woman on phone: Ma! Jesus, ma. I totally agree with you. (pause) Yeah, he told me to come over when the house was done. (pause) Yeah, fixed up. Jesus, ma. (groan) Yes. No! I'm not a slut. Ma!
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: maria
Teen girl to friend: I was living with my grandmother and my girlfriend was studying social work, I was sleeping with men at this time–but I wasn't a slut or anything.
–Westside Tavern, 23rd & 8th
Girl on cell: How many guys did I sleep with? Thirty, forty?
–Pearl St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: CAC Baby from The Glebe
Father on phone with daughter: I didn't raise you to be a fucking whore. If I wanted you to be a whore you think I would've paid for your goddamn degree?
–Washington Square Park
High school freshman to friend: My Spanish teacher called me a slut!
–61st St & Amsterdam Ave
Guy in khakis, watching hipster: I'm totally more of a hipster than her.
Friend: No, you're not.
Guy in khakis: I am! You don't know what I'm like outside. I just turn it off for work. I've got a ton of tattoos…
Friend: No, you don't. Your mom would kill you.
Guy in khakis, hanging head: No, I don't. My mom would kill me.
–Fordham Law School
Loud tween girl: Did you know that I drank wine when I was a baby?
Friend: Huh?
Loud tween girl: Yeah! I drank wine when I was a baby. Did you know that if your mom drinks wine when she's pregnant, then you drink it too? My dad told me. He's a doctor.
Friend: Well, I drank beer once.
Loud tween girl: I tasted champagne on New Year's. But yeah, I drank wine when I was a baby. I probably got drunk!
–M23 Bus
Overheard by: I'd like a glass of wine right now
Girl: I can't believe he's being such an asshole to me! I've enriched his life so much!
Friend: Yeah?
Girl: Yeah! It's because of me that he knows who Lady Gaga is!
–R Train
Overheard by: Soyeon
Film student: There's subtext to butt-sex?
–School of Visual Arts
Girl, to guy: Was your dick *in* my ass? Did we just do anal?
–Lower East Side
College girl: And my butthole is probably a lot tighter than hers.
–LIRR
Middle aged suit: I think I'd really enjoy anal because I always take such big craps.
–Union Square
Overheard by: alib
Woman to friend: Did you know the latest teenage fad is butt sex?
–177th St & Broadway
