Wednesday One-Liners Are No Longer Considered a Planet

Girl, to boyfriend: And that’s why you can never trust the emotions or actions of someone whose star sign is ruled by mars.

–20th & 7th

Overheard by: ALR

Barista to waiter: I don’t mind that I spent $130 on a pair of Oakleys cause I can look at the sun for a while and it won’t hurt my eyes.

–Long Island Railroad

Overheard by: Chris K.

Baby boomer hippie to college student: Dude, I just got me some of that Afghani shit. Took me to the mooooooon and back, baby!

–Washington Square

Overheard by: Summer

Doonesbury looking dude: Imagine what life would be like without the sun.

–40th & Park Ave

Overheard by: Ledbetter

Girl, being shaken awake by friend: But Rachel, where are you going to put the black hole?

–A Train

Bum on street, to several protesters passing by in pure white bio-hazard suits: Aw… You people wait right there, I’m a run and get some cigarettes then I’m comin’ to the moon with ya’ll. Seriously… Wait.

–45 & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Comack

Posted on April 23, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Astronomy, Baristas, Compare/Contrast, Fashion, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Hippies, Homeless, Long Island, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Questions, Shopping, Street, Trains Not Subway, Washington Square Park, Weed, Words

I Particularly Like the One in Which Sigmund Freud Defeated the Three-Headed Dog

College girl #1: If you believe in any god, you should really resepct all other religions, like mythology gods and shit too!
College girl #2: Who can believe mythology?! That stuff was written like, a hundred years ago!

–TGI Fridays, Times Square

Overheard by: m spot

Posted on April 21, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, History & Geography, Questions, Religion, Restaurants & Cafes, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, Time, Times Square

He’s Willem Dafoe Scary

Girl #1, about a professor: Is he scary?
Girl #2: Yeah, but I can totally see myself making out with him.

–NYU Dorm

Overheard by: bling bling

Posted on April 21, 2008
Friends, Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, NYU, Physical appearance, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Dear Mr. Warming, I Believe in You. Love, Amy

Six-year-old girl #1: I’m going to write them a very stern letter about this!
Six-year-old girl #2: Who?
Six-year-old girl #1: Global warming!
Six-year-old girl #2: Global warming’s not a person, fart-face.

–Court & Degraw St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Global Warming, the person

Posted on April 20, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Friends, Girls, Insults, Kids, Questions, Words

Not If She Fakes Orgasm –Then It’s Performance Art

NJ guy #1: So right after I left my parents house I met up with the hooker, best use of birthday money ever.
NJ guy #2: But you’re underage, that’s like illegal!

–McDonald’s, Times Square

Overheard by: Stewart Lane

Posted on April 19, 2008
Age/Aging, Celebrations/Parties, Crime and Punishment, Default, Friends, Guys, Money & Class, Prostitution, Restaurants & Cafes, Times Square

If Everybody’s Wearing Pants and Nobody Takes Your Wallet, It’s a Successful Commute

Crazy hobo, dancing and singing as he walks down the aisle: Yeah, yeah, yeahhhhhh… Yeahhh yeahhh yeahhh. And now for my grand finale! [pulls emergency break and exits car.]Angry woman: Oh, hell no. He did not just do that. I knew he was gonna to do that shit.
Friend: Why didn’t you trip him or somethin’?
Angry woman: Are you fuckin’ kidding me? And get beat up by a crazy? Did ya’ll see that?!
Young woman: Fuck my life.

–D Train

Overheard by: KK

Posted on April 17, 2008
Crazies, Crazy, Friends, Hobos, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Punch, Questions, Women

What’s It Called When the Government Does It?

Cop: You can’t take pictures in the subway.
Cameraman’s friend: Why not?
Cop: It’s against the law.
Cameraman’s friend: Why is that?
Cop: Ever heard of a little thing called terrorism?

–High Street Brooklyn Bridge A/C Station

Posted on April 14, 2008
Brooklyn, Cops, Default, Friends, Offers and requests, Questions, Strangers, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Terrorism, Words

Our Spies Are Everywhere

Really tall kid: Then my mom said I couldn’t use condoms anymore.
Really tall friend: … Way for that guy to hear you.

–Hilton Hotel

Posted on April 14, 2008
Boys, Condoms, Default, Friends, Hotels, Offers and requests, Parents

Now Are Those Lampposts or Trees?

Blonde Swedish bimbette in very light drizzle: Where’s that water coming from?!
Friend: It’s the man with a bucket in the sky…
Blonde Swedish bimbette: Oh, I thought it was sewer water or something.

–Houston & 2nd

Overheard by: In tribute

Posted on April 12, 2008
Bimbettes, Default, Foreigners, Friends, Questions, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Weather, Weirdness

He Could Sand the Side of a Boat with That Thing!

Girl #1: What the shit? They have dog lip chap?
Girl #2: That reminds me, I need to pick some up. Andy’s dick chafes my lips so bad.

–Le Chien

Overheard by: Amy Araya

Posted on April 12, 2008
BJs, Default, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Medicine, Penis, Relationships, Store, Upper East Side, We Love Our Pets

Friends