Cue Fade Out to R. Kelly Waking Up

High school girl #1: Rachel*, do you really find that man attractive?
High school girl #2: His personality is perfect!
High school girl #1: He is 50 years old!
High school girl #2: So?
High school girl #3: Yeah, I second that: so what?

–Central Park

Headline by: Tom

Runners-Up:
· “His Money Doesn’t Look a Day Over 20” – Nik
· “Mr. Belding Only Got Better with Age” – RBNY
· “Now, Let’s Make a Pact to Be Impregnated by Him…” – T
· “Who Says Santa Can’t Be a Babe Magnet?” – Nael B
· “You Might Want to Check the Expiration Date on That Personality” – kenderbard

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on June 18, 2015
Age/Aging, Central Park, Compliments, Friends, Girls, Headline Contest Winners, Questions, Sexuality, Teens

Hey New York: What Did You Think of the Parade?

Hipster: …yeah, I really don’t know…I mean, you see one drag queen on some kinda float, you seen ’em all.

–Le Monde, 112th & Broadway

Guy #1: So yeah, I saw that nigga out in the Village. That man is wilding, bro.
Guy #2: Word?
Guy #1: Yeah, dat nigga is out there rapping fags. He be like in a alley, and he be like, “yo commere”, then he fucks ’em, bro.
Guy #2: Ha, ha. Yo, dat’s fucked up man, that nigga always was crazy.

–M14 bus

Girl: I totally thought I was going to see my gym teacher here.

–7th Avenue & Greenwich

Overheard by: Lukas

Posted on June 17, 2015
Bus, Columbia, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Sex & Relationships, Union Square and East Village

…And Resulted in the Freeing of the Slaves

Frat guy #1: So how do you think you did on your history exam?
Sorostitute: I don’t want to talk about it.
Frat guy #1: Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.
Frat guy #2: She thought World War II happened in the 1970s.

–NYU

Overheard by: Seriously.

Posted on June 17, 2015
Bimbettes, Default, Education, Frat Boys, Friends, Hitler/Nazis, NYU, Offers and requests, Questions, Sorority Girls, Stupidity

The Torch Has Been Passed

Guy: Have you seen Torch?
Girl: Oh, he dead. He fell out a window.
Guy: Ohhhh shit!

–D train

Overheard by: dopepope

Posted on June 15, 2015
Death, Friends, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

I Heard That!

NYU student on cell: … And she didn’t realize that I was just, like, just so itchy!
Friend with her: Man, why are all the stupid girls in this city always on their cell phones?

–22nd & 2nd

Overheard by: jharris

Posted on June 14, 2015
Friends, Gripes, Murray Hill and Gramercy

PETA-Approved Wednesday One-Liners

HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.

–E train

Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.

–Small diner, Chinatown

Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.

–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Gigi

Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.

–Rue 57, 57th & 6th

Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!

–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave

Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?

Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?

Posted on June 13, 2015
Advice, Animals & Nature, BJs, Boys, Chinatown, Crazies, Crime and Punishment, Default, Diet/Weight, Flyer people, Friends, Girls, Ladies Who Lunch, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Science, Sex, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vegetarian & Vegan, Weirdness, Women

A Lovin’ Spoonful of Wednesday One-Liners

Little boy: I love Manhattan! I love Tic-Tacs!

–Brooklyn Heights

Wife to husband: No wonder your eyebrows are making love!

–47th & 5th

Overheard by: anon

Biotech to texting friend: Now we’ll see how much he cares about you. I love testing people!

–23rd Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: sara n.

Gleeful hobo rubbing stubble beard: I love my beard! Mmmm, I love you.

–93rd & Broadway

Overheard by: punkee

Queer on cell: I don’t want love handles on love day!

–Lafayette & Astor

Woman on cell: Happy Valentine’s Day… Do you still love me, or do you hate me now?

–Hudson St

Overheard by: lilli

Posted on June 13, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Astoria, Biotechs, Boys, Brooklyn, Couples, Default, Food, Friends, Hair, Hobos, Holidays, Kids, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Queers, Questions, Relationships, Street, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Not All Babies Should Be Photographed

Girl, looking at friend's cell phone: What is that?
Friend: A baby!
Girl: Oh, I thought it was chicken. It looks like a barbecued chicken.

–4 Train

Posted on June 11, 2015
Babies, Birds, Cell Phone, Food, Friends, Girls, On the Subway

What’s That? You Have a Bomb?

Tourist girl to friend: Oh my god, people are totally going to know we’re from Boston when they hear our accents!
Guy sweeping cigarette butts: No, people are going to know you’re from Boston when they hear you freak out and call the bomb squad over one of our electronic ads.

–49th & 9th

Overheard by: guy who dropped a couple of the cigarette butts

Posted on June 11, 2015
Blue-collar workers, Comebacks, Cops, Friends, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, U.S. Geography

Those Sorority Chicks Are Real Skeletons

Girl: I haven’t talked to her since she left for college. How is she?
Guy: I don’t know, man…I haven’t heard from her either, so I guess she’s just, like, decaying or whatever.

–80th & East End

Overheard by: Anne O.

Posted on June 10, 2015
Assholes, Friends, Girls, Guys, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Time, Upper East Side

Friends