Gay guy, trying on long black fur coat: How do I look?
Girl: Like a gay, Russian, Cruella de Vil.
Random customer: I'm gay and Russian. And I wouldn't wear that.
–Century 21
Gay guy, trying on long black fur coat: How do I look?
Girl: Like a gay, Russian, Cruella de Vil.
Random customer: I'm gay and Russian. And I wouldn't wear that.
–Century 21
Girl #1: I can't believe John lets that guy fuck him in his ass…I mean, he's got to have hemorrhoids.
Girl #2: I know, I hate hemorrhoids, you really got to guard against that shit.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Atrain
Straight male employee: How gay do you have to be to shop here?
Gay male customer, overhearing employee: How gay do you have to be to work here?
–Michael's Craft Store, Queens
Hipster chick: He's not gay, he just wants everyone to think that.
Hipster chick friend: How do you know?
Hipster chick: He'll only suck cock in public.
–4th St & 2nd Ave
Girl #1, checking out a dude in a restaurant: He's super hot, but I think he's gay.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, totally, look at the way he crosses his legs. And he's using chopsticks.
Girl #1: It's an Asian restaurant.
–Union Square
Overheard by: littleD
Teen hipster on cell: You know, light pink is the navy blue of India. It's true! Don't ask me how I know this but I do.
–6th & 51st
Overheard by: simon
Flamboyant nasal-voiced man on cell: I'm feeling blue…like, royal blue…a little lighter…no, not baby blue…like, American flag blue…like…yeah.
–Jamaica LIRR Station
Aussie on cell: There were all these dudes wearing pink shirts…and they weren't even gay!
–55th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: wearing a pink shirt and gay
Girl to friend: So he made carrot salad and I said "Your poop is gonna be orange!"
–The Frying Pan, Chelsea
Latina: Well, she said "It wasn't white! It was yellow!" So I was like, "Well, was it at least shaped like a penis?"
–4th Ave & 40th, Brooklyn
Guy #1, getting out of shower: Oh! Great news. I learned how to swallow!
Guy #2: That's fantastic!
–Locker Room, David Barton Gym
Overheard by: Baby steps
Hispanic guy: Oh, it's just a fag.
Hispanic chick: What?
Hispanic guy: I thought it was Jason Bourne.
Hispanic chick: You thought Jason Bourne was gonna come after us?
Hispanic guy: Yeah… Hey, look–it's another tattoo place! Tonight's the night!
Both together (singing): Tonight's the night!
–Stanton & Norfolk
UES middle aged lady #1: Oh hi! I haven't seen you in so long! How are you?
UES middle aged lady #2: Not so great, my husband just told me he's gay.
–Duane Reade, 1st & 72nd
Angry man on cell: I need a friend in my life! Do you hear me?! …I don't care! I'm not leaving my wife for anyone!
–Roosevelt Ave, Flushing
Overheard by: oh, you thought my ipod was on
Girl to friend: Tomorrow I'm finally unpacking and I'm buying a new sundress to wear on Sunday when I go out to brunch with my new love interest. But he doesn't know that's the direction our friendship is headed.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Older woman with teased black hair on cell: But Frank, I don't want you to write a song about me. I want things to be as they were, friends when we were normal. Don't write me a song.
–Staten Island Ferry
Girl to friend: Well, I'm friends with him too and I didn't sleep with him.
–Shake Shack, Union Square
Girl to friend: I'm willing to let you sleep with my best friend and you still want more?
–W 31 & 6th
Overheard by: misery
Angry woman on cell: And then he told this complete stranger, "My ex-wife had lesbian lovers! My ex-wife slept with young boys!" We've been divorced for six years and he's still talking shit about me, but he says he wants to be friends?!
–2nd St & Ave A
Overheard by: voidoid
