Girl: Your breath is stinky.
Guy: Please. My breath is so fresh they should name a mint after it.
Girl: How about excre-mint?
–56th & 1st
Girl: Your breath is stinky.
Guy: Please. My breath is so fresh they should name a mint after it.
Girl: How about excre-mint?
–56th & 1st
Girl #1: I just got a membership at Carnegie Hall.
Girl #2: You should get a membership to the gym.
Girl #1: But this is like a workout…for my soul.
–Lexington & 53rd
Hobo: Hello, ladies and gentlemen! How are you all today? My name is Sonny Payne–
Teen girl: And you’re just a Payne in the ass!
–F train
Overheard by: Nicole A.
Hobo: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen–
Woman: Ah God, I can’t take it this early.
–9 train
Tourist chick: Yeah, I like New York, but I could never live here.
Salesguy: Yeah…
Tourist chick: But I mean I love the West Village.
Salesperson: Totally…
Tourist chick: It’s just like so expensive to live here.
Cashier guy: That’ll be $407 please.
–Jack Spade, Greene Street
Overheard by: Quirine
Girl #1: So we’re in bed, fooling around, and he goes, “Does it feel good when I rub your G-spot?” And I go, “I’ll let you know.”
Girl #2: Ooh, that’s so mean!
Girl #1: Please. I’ll fake a clitoral orgasm for anyone. But I draw the line at faking a G-spot orgasm. No man’s self-esteem is that important to me.
–19th & Park
Girl #1: My cat drinks out of my water glass all the time.
Girl #2: So?
Girl #1: I can’t drink it after that. I mean, she licks her own ass.
–Central Park
Rich girl #1: You’ve got it wrong. The Shiites are the majority in Iraq.
Rich girl #2: Oh, well if the Sunni don’t like it, they should just move back to Iran.
–91st & Madison
Overheard by: Sennott
Hipster girl: Is he gay, or just South African?
Hipster boy: Both.
–L train shuttle bus
Overheard by: Justin Sheckler
New wave girl #1: Are you seriously gonna go back to his place with him?
New wave girl #2: No, not seriously.
–7th & A
Overheard by: saphin
Daughter: What’s on your leg?
Mother: It’s cellulite, all women have it. And if you think the women you see in magazines don’t, they do. They just get it covered up in their pictures by a special pen called an airbrush.
Daughter: Will I get cellulite?
Mother: Yes, soon.
–Century 21, Cortlandt Street
